I heard about that on the radio this morning -wtf???

That can't be real. Can it?

According to NBC,
"It’s not an actual school play. Director Marc Klasfield, of Lady Gaga video fame, reportedly produced it probably somewhere in LA, TMZ reports."

I don't know if the play is more disturbing, or the fact that TMZ is apparently the best we've got.

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided
To pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he
Failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it
Was "pleasure?"

A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50-50%.

A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his
State of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of

Making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100%
Pleasure."

The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing
It for them."

The room fell silent.

God Bless the enlisted man. :cool:

PROMISE AFTER DEATH ....

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:

" Marion ... Marion "

"Is that you, Bob?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"





"No..........I'm a rabbit in Arizona ...."

Sitting together on a train, travelling through the Swiss Alps were a French guy, an English bloke, a little old Greek lady and a young blonde Swiss girl with large breasts.

The Train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap..
>
When the train emerges from the tunnel the French guy has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.
>
The old lady thinks: The French guy must have groped the blonde in the dark and she slapped his cheek.
>
The blonde Swiss girl thinks: That French guy must have tried to grope me in the dark but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.
>
The French guy thinks: That English bloke must have groped the blonde in the dark - she tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
>
And the English bloke thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel just so I can smack that French bastard again.

The Wedding Ring


A man went to the hospital in Toronto to have his wedding ring cut off from
his penis.

According to the nurse attending the operation, the patient's girlfriend found the
ring in his pants pocket.

She didn't know he was married and she was so mad she used petroleum jelly to
slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.

2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.

OR...


3) Finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

Tough call. You decide.

A professor at Leeds University was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

'Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe,do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously.

Has anyone here ever talked to or touched a ghost?'

About 3 students raise their hand.

'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further......Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, Abdul raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture,

no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.

You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'
The big student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Abdul , tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'

Abdul replied, "Oh, uh sorry..... From where I was sitting at the back I thought you said Goats! "

I'm not rated for human consumption, it says so on the label.

One fine, sunny day, a rabbit sat outside his burrow, typing on his laptop. Along came a fox, out for a walk.
"What are you working on, Rabbit?" asked the fox.
"My thesis," said the rabbit.
"Hmm. What's it about?" asked the fox.
"It's about how rabbits eat foxes," replied the rabbit.
"That's ridiculous!" exclaimed the fox. "Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."
"Sure they do," said the rabbit. "And I can prove it! Come into my burrow."

They disappeared inside and after a few minutes, the rabbit emerged alone, returned to his laptop, and resumed typing.

Soon, a wolf came along. "What are you working on, Rabbit?"
"My thesis," the rabbit replied.
"Hmm. What's it about?" asked the wolf.
"It's about how rabbits eat wolves," said the rabbit.
"That's ridiculous!" exclaimed the wolf. "Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat wolves."
"Sure they do," said the rabbit calmly. "And I can prove it! Come into my burrow."

They disappeared inside and after a few minutes, the rabbit emerged alone, returned to his laptop, and resumed typing.

Meanwhile, inside the rabbit's burrow there was a pile of fox bones and a pile of wolf bones -- and a lion picking his teeth.

The Moral: It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject. It doesn't matter what you use for data. What matters is who you have for a thesis advisor!

:yesnod:

thats not funny - its true & sad.

More not funny, sad.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2793/...f29efdee_o.png

DeLuise was the bomb.