My Hiatal Hernia has raised hell since I tried to eat a bacon biscuit this AM.

no, we don't know.

I've been reading sites about death...the questions, the emotions. I find I keep coming back here to my friends.

Thank you all. I don't know what I believe, but if you believe in prayer please pray for my family. I don't know how we're going to get through this. I think of my aunt and uncle and I jsut don't know how we're going to get through this.

One day at a time, or if that's overwhelming one hour at a time. Hell, one minute at a time if you have to. Just don't look too far ahead, planning how to handle it and shit, because it never follows your script.

I thought I'd get out of the house. I drove through town and there was a wedding party walking down the street, probably hitting bars before the reception (it's kind of a tradition in the young wedding circles.) They looked to be heading back to the limo.

They made me smile. I rolled down my window and yelled "woohoo" and gave them a thumbs up. They woohoo'd me back and I smiled. Immediately after this I was crying again.

So I think a minute at a time is what I can handle right now.

All the sites are saying "talk about it" adn that's what Im doing here. I'm so grateful for this place and you people.

Yeah, we're real useful sometimes. :blush:

Shawnee, I'm really sorry. That's horrible news.

Thank you.

Me too. Wish we could all give you a hug.

I suppose you're going to have to wait to find out what happened.:(

I will be at my parent's house tomorrow. Maybe we'll know more, but the result is the same.

Fucking what the fuck? What the fuck?

They don't know if my grammy would even know what they meant if they told her. They were very close. Grammy is almost 98, and doesn't have all her mental faculties. A (my cousin) used to go over and help her clean her collection of salt and pepper shakers, hundreds of them, and A was a pastry chef.

Fuck. God fucking dammit.

No, it won't change it, but It might help you and your folks get your head around it. It's not about her now, it's about damage control for the ones left behind. You have to kick in the survival instinct and take care of yourself. Please.

Grammy's in her own world... sometimes I think we feel sorry for people like that when we should envy them.

I just can't stop thinking of my aunt and uncle. He is my dad's youngest sibling. i was raised catholic, but didn't get baptized right away because my dad's job had us moving a lot. When I was 8 years old and my little brother was being baptized, I got to be also and got to choose my godparents. I chose them. They were young and hip and I thought they were awesome. I babysat for their kids when I was in HS. My uncle worked for social security and is a big reader...so I always felt particularly close to him as a kid and now as an adult, FA being a public service of sorts as well.

It's just not fair. None of it.

How old was she, Shawnee? Did she have any kids?

Early 30s. They lived in the south, haven't seen her in a couple years. Kids, yeah.

oh poor babbies :(