Yeah, all that shit you learned about how animals are just like humans from Disney is a bunch of crap.

ANIMALS DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

I helped a friend slaughter his pigs, there were six of them. As each one was shot and had its throat slit, the other pigs came rushing over and lapped up the blood. Completely unconcerned that every 15 minutes their numbers dwindled by one. Even the last pig was completely unconcerned.

This is not to say that I approve of CAFO farming or mistreatment of animals. I'm just saying that animals aren't like people. At all.

That was kind of a creepy joke SN :eyebrow:

2010 Winter Olympics
 

Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these aresome questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on anInternational Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watchthem die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroadtracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a listof them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hipporacing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees contact us when you get here andwe'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, whichis...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday nightin Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Wherecan I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the femalepopulation is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk isillegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget itsname. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brainsof anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by sprayingyourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Nice!

Yeah, I know. Do you think it was my delivery or my timing?

Stage presence.

Its the fact that you ARE a squirrel - thats what creeped me out. Especially after Jim ....

Don't hate me because I wear fur.

And have a tail.

And hold your nuts in your mouth.

. . . and spelled squirrel uh, differently.

:lol: leave it to Sheldonrs! I wonder how many unsuspecting people pop in and their key boards and monitors are ruined by his comments ;) One way or another LOL!


Note to self: do not drink tea while reading humor thread

It's not squirrel, as in girl or cyril, it's squirell as in Tyrell.

I have vitiligo.

Why does your skin condition make you a woodland creature?
On another note I have never seen a squirrel in the woods.

There's no causation between my skin condition and my woodland status. I was making a racial stereotype joke about the name tyrell. I am bad.

Damn, dude. Get out.