Justme, no problem. I'm sure you were just trying to help...
jinx, I take a multivitamin every day that has 835% of my daily allowance of B6 and 553% B12. (Twinlab allergy multi)

I took a quiz to see if I have Asperger's my score was 134, which was high..OC do you know your child's score? I'd like to compare...

"Why are my feelings so easily hurt? Mostly the things that set me off are when people I work with are rude, or if I have no control over the situation. If someone treats me rudely, I want to punch them in the face, but I know I can't, so I just cry. I'm nice to everyone I work with. I listen if someone wants to vent, I'm easy on the new people and my bussers. I have such a hard time dealing with rude people who lack compassion or empathy. I hold in too much anger because I can't say and do what I want, I have to be so fake and polite all the time at work. Any self help book suggestions?"


Okay, here is another suggestion.
This part doesn't look like depression. It looks like stress. I've had something like that when one of my co-workers has used every moment to proove me and everybody in the office I'm stupid. It was okay, I always replied her nicely, but felt too much agressivness after work. It's bad if you can not ignore that stupid b... because she's doing everything not to be ignored.
Today I feel relief. I don't need to deal with somebody's stupidity, watch my back, cover my butt. Every day, every moment...What for? For stupid clerical duties and funny clerical payment?

Do you like your job, stacey? As I remember I don't, do you? This is the one of sourses for stress. Maybe, is it time to think about your life improvment?

P.S. Yes, I cried twice.:) Yes, I'm strong ,but I did cry.

Here is mine.


"Your score
119
You seem to have quite a few Aspie-traits "

Maybe everyone has some of these symptoms??
Come on everyone, telll me your score!!

Years ago I read an article about that phenomenon somewhere. Your body/mind starts to recognize anything long-term as 'normal' and it works at keeping things 'normal'. So if you've been depressed for a long time, that becomes 'normal' for you and the body works to keep things that way.

If you had Asperger's you would have been told long before now. It's diagnosed in early childhood. Adults don't suddenly get it.

Put down the Big Book of Crazy™ (DSM-IV) and step away.

Stop focusing on "what my problem is called" and look more closely at "what my problem is."

Actually, many people with Asperger's aren't diagnosed until they self diagnose in midlife, because as children, they are seen as bright. They are early readers, they have excellent verbal skills and often excel in one or two areas, so the only thing that seems "off" about them is that they are seen as "shy", they have a hard time making friends, etc. But that usually doesn't send teachers and parents running to find a diagnosis. I'm not saying I just contracted it, I'm saying I may have found a name for what I have. I have ALWAYS felt weird, different, whatever...

Got a 99....guess I failed.
OK, you've got a name for it, what are you going to do about it? :confused:

Stacey, you seem to interact well with other humans.

You are able to form relationships.

You don't have Asperger's.

But you might have a raging case of Sophmoreitis.

raging sophmoritis. they make a cream for that.:sadsperm:

wolf, that was a huge compliment to me, whether it was your intention or not :biggrin: My strength is with writing, it's very easy for me to put my thoughts into words, but if we were all meeting at a restaurant, I guarantee you, you would think otherwise...
Yes, I'm able to form relationships- with one person at a time! I get overwhelmed if I have too many people in my life, and more than one seems to be too many..
Okay, maybe I don't have a "syndrome", maybe I'm just introverted or really sensitive, or I have issues simply because my mother treated me as an unwanted pain in the ass or maybe I have brain damage from when I fell down a flight of wood stairs and got a concussion at age 5.. maybe there's no name for it. I didn't say I had a definate diagnosis... Either way, I'ts nice to go to the Asperger syndrome forums and read personal descriptions and stories that I can relate to so much. Even if I don't have it, I have a lot in common with them, I have a lot of the same little quirks...
Over the years I have read so many friggin self-help books, many of them about social skills, reading body language, motivation, etc. So I am able to go to work and act normal, but I think a lot just eats me up inside...
All of these people I work with always want to hang out and drink after work, I think they're crazy. I can't WAIT to get home and rest in peace and quiet.
I have been told by every single person I know, either that I'm weird, that I talk too much (my husband and ex boyfriends), and mostly that I am too sensitive, too easily overwhelmed.
I have Stacey syndrome, how's that?

okay, I just looked up sophomoritis, it's a condition that second year medical students get, more commonly known as hypochondriasis (didi I spell that right?).
Yeah, I can see why you'd call me a hypochondriac. I do seem to have a lot of ideas about what is "wrong with me" and it would be great if it were a mental thing, only, how to fix it??
I internalize stress and it seems to me that I developed all of my food intolerances during periods of high stress and during my two worst relationships. I do have blood tests to back it up though. Basically, when my mental health suffers, I hold it in and I develop physical problems. And it seems to me like I haven't ever had a long break from emotional pain or overstress.
As they say in russian, "Mhe polney pizdets"

My Abnormal Psych prof didn't team me much abnormal psych ... but he did drum one thing into us ...

"All of Human Experience is mediated through both the body and the mind."

Mental Health affects physical health.

Physical health affects mental health.

Go see someone and stop guessing.

staceyv:
"Yeah, I can see why you'd call me a hypochondriac. I do seem to have a lot of ideas about what is "wrong with me" and it would be great if it were a mental thing, only, how to fix it?? "

wolf:
"Stop focusing on "what my problem is called" and look more closely at "what my problem is."


That's all for now :)

:confused: I'm confused

stacey,
In my opinion, you try to find definitions for your problem instead to find the problem itself.

Look what you wrote about the crying in your first post:

" I feel like there's something wrong with me. I have zero ability to handle stress. Little things that don't matter at all upset me so much. My boss said something to me today about the order I did my side work in.....long story, but to summarize, I did all of my work, she just wasn't paying attention. Then I was carrying a huge box of napkins and paper towels up from the basement and the bottom of the box broke and everything went flying down the stairs..what a pain. Then, I'm working with this chick who has a man's voice and a macho overly assertive attitude and I was trying to vent a little by telling her about all of this crap, and she looks at me and goes "Deal with it! Why are you telling me all of this?"blahblahblah....So I told her she's rude and I won't try venting to her again, but I was so upset after I walked away that I started crying in the busroom and I was all shaky.
I don't think that was a good reason to cry, I feel like I'm too sensitive, like I should have a thicker skin, like something is wrong with me. I don't have PMS, everything at home is fine, I just get so upset about stupid little things...This is just one example.

Last year one of the cooks gave me a hard time, I was really busy, Had a little hangover...I got so stressed out that I started crying and I couldn't stop and my boss had to wait on my tables.

When I was new there I heard a girl say "I thought I sucked when I was new!" (accent the second I), once again, I'm crying...

It happened before with another girl who wqas rude to me when I was new, and last summer I found myself crying at work twice in one week because I was stressed out..."

Where did it happen? At work. That's why I suggest your work is one of the stress factors you have.

The other factor can be from your childhood:

"maybe I'm just introverted or really sensitive, or I have issues simply because my mother treated me as an unwanted pain in the ass or maybe I have brain damage from when I fell down a flight of wood stairs and got a concussion at age 5.. maybe there's no name for it."

That can be a reason you have beeen looking for love with piece of shit :mad: men.
stacey, it's over! You're happy now. You did it. You're stronger than you think. Start be an owner of your life, stay above those factors.

Don't waste your time for definitions of your stress or your problems. Think what you're really want to do with your life.


By the way, reading the books about diseases gives the feeling you have all of those. :p

The all that I got so far you’re gifted, creative, smart, sensitive, good heart person, very pretty (yes, a saw your pictures), and...:) stressed.

I have decided that you (Stacey) would make a very good research scientist. Even if I am wrong about that one thing is for sure: you are way underachiving relative to your abilities. I say that not as a criticism but as an observation.

Escaping the groove you are in requires little more than patience, hard work and a little vision. And Arsen's support.

Beestie, SO true...I LOVE to research! I've thought about doing a line of work where I can research, but I seem to only be good at it if I'm interested in the subject, so I'm kind of limited. And yes, I am an underachiever. I know I shouldn't be waitressing, I know I'm better than that, and that gives me a mild form of chronic stress in itself. In that aspect, I totally agree with Justme...
I just don't know what the hell to do with myself! The only things I am passionate about are playing the drums and guitar, writing about stuff I like, reading, researching, foreign languages and nutrition/medical stuff. But, I don't like to work with people, I like to work alone. My husband's always telling me I should find something that I'm passionate about and work on it, and he's right, but I jump from one stupid subject to another.
One month I wanted to show and breed chihuahuas. Then I decided I wanted to be a bookkeeper. Then I decided I'm underqualified/ have no training and that I want to be in a band again..Then I'll think that maybe I should just have kids and call myself a housewife. THEN, I'm like, no, that's not a good idea because I should get myself together before I think about kids, that's not fair to them...I'm all over the place.
I would like to go to school- but for what?
I sometimes feel like I'm destined for a life of underachievement like my mother. I don't want to deal with the stress of bettering myself, maybe. UGH, right now I can't even stand listening to my own thoughts as I type this...


"By the way, reading the books about diseases gives the feeling you have all of those." so true...and sometimes I read books that make me feel like I can do anything, the world is a friendly, happy place, and I should follow my dreams...And then real life hits me like a brick and I start to feel so bitter, because I realize it's not as easy as those stupid books make it out to be, and no, it's not possible for me to work, go to school, study and have a happy relationship, while simultaneously working out, eating healthy and forming meaningful friendships . It just doesn't work that way. I guess any of these books can screw you up, even the "positive" ones.
I haven't read any medical or self-help optimism books in the last 4 years, though, and that hasn't helped either...

[quote=staceyv]
I don't want to deal with the stress of bettering myself, maybe. [quote=staceyv

"...and sometimes I read books that make me feel like I can do anything, the world is a friendly, happy place, and I should follow my dreams...And then real life hits me like a brick and I start to feel so bitter, because I realize it's not as easy as those stupid books make it out to be, [/QUOTE]

I think we all fall into that trap, StaceyV, sooner or later. We all think our lives *should* be this one particular way and anything less than that is failure. I feel that way about myself. Because my home, my friends, my job aren't perfect, I feel like a failure. I feel anxious to improve everything but overwhelmed when I even think about trying to change anything. I think you are articulating your dilemma quite well and I hope you find some real answers.

On target Bri. Stace, you've expressed that sort of need for control before: during the Arsen other-woman-not-really episode, control was one of your bugaboos; lack of it, need to enforce it, etc. At work, control is routinely enforced over you by your bosses, your situation, etc. Is this a big issue for you.

hmmm, I never thought of that. I don't know. Am I a control freak??!
Maybe I am a little. I mean, I don't care what other people do, because I have no control over them and I know it, but with myself, yeah, I need to feel like I'm in control. And maybe with my husband? I was like that a lot with my rottweiler. I was very persistent in training her to follow every command, but I always gave her treats for it. With my chihuahua, I tried to train him, but I only got so far, he seems to have ADD or something, so I gave up and decided to love him like he is. Sometimes I call him my little retard and give him kisses...
When my husband said he wanted to lose weight, I started making all low fat and low sugar food for him, then I would try to prevent him from eating candy and junk food, and I'd get mad when he did. But, I realized I have no control over that, either, so I stopped caring and told him to eat whatever the hell he wants and when he wants to help himself, he can. I also need to be in charge of the household finances, because I feel for some reason that my husband wouldn't pay everything on time. So yeah, I do have some tendencies to want to control things, but I also give up when I see it's useless.

Loving someone as they are is the ultimate. Loving YOURSELF as you are NOW is pretty ultimate, too.

Just don't go around calling yourself a "little retard" :) like you do the chihuahua and you'll be ok!

"I know I shouldn't be waitressing, I know I'm better than that, and that gives me a mild form of chronic stress in itself. "

Stacey, you have at least one answer for now. Step by step.
You don't like your job.
can you put in order what you'd like to do? Make a list : #1, #2, etc.

My husband and I have alraedy made a plan for that. We expect to be out of debt in a year or less, at which time he says I can quit my job and do whatever I want. The only thing I'm sure I will do is go to the gym everyday. I would also like to take drum lessons (I haven't practiced in over a year) and get back into a band...
I am afraid, though, that if I don't make a plan I will end up isolated from the world, sitting in the house all day, every day... But that is all I can come up with for now.
So even though I see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's just dealing with it day by day that's getting to me. And I still feel a lot of pressure to figure out what I would like to do with my life, because even though he's giving me the perfect opportunity to pursue it, I don't have a clue what "it" is!

In your particular case, at this particular moment, "it" means learning to be at peace with yourself. Took me a looooooooooooong time to figure that out.

Suspend personal expectations and self-examination for a spell - stop judging yourself for six weeks.

Stacey, I suspect you grew up in an environment where you weren't allowed to be a "self." Possibly, you had an overly critical or demanding parent who was difficult to please. As an adult, you do not feel "authentic." When you recieve praise, you dismiss it, thinking to yourself, "They don't know what I'm REALLY like." When someone critisizes you, you unconsciously revert to a child in front of a scolding parent. You accept low paying jobs and unsatisfactory relationships because on some level you think that's all you deserve. You need to work to consciously counter these early negative messages that you have unconsciously assimilated into your thinking about yourself and your situation.

You still wake up sometimes, don't you? Wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the lambs.

That's true. No matter what I did, my mother was never happy. I got good grades in school and spent most of my time reading books when I was young. I know my mother has some kind of mental illness, whether it's depression or something else, I don't know, but she is the most miserable person I know. She used to complain constantly, like it was her job. Nothing made her happy, life sucked, she hated women, she didn't want the neighbors bothering her, she didn't want ME bothering her...I KNOW she didn't wan't me and she always told me I was a pain in the ass ( she got knocked up at the drive- in movie at age 17). She never wanted to be bothered with me. getting me ready for school was the ultimate torture for her. I was only 6 years old and I knew that I should pretend to be sleeping so at least it wouldn't be directed on me...But I had my grandmother and my aunt who took me on weekends and sometimes after school, they were very good to me. At one point, my grandmother was going to try getting full custody of me because my mother neglected me and didn't lead a healthy lifestyle (partying, dating a lot of different men...) but for some reason, that didn't fall through...I do realize now, though, that it's not my fault that my mother is unhappy, and I feel bad for my little sister who is 9 years younger than me, because she is suffering from anxiety problems just like I did at her age. She gets heart palpitations and she has a hard time holding down a job...I'm not sure if it's a genetic thing or a result of being raised in a negative environment, but I really feel for her.
Ofcourse, there were some benefits, like I am great at working independently and I like to find answers for myself, probably because I was afraid to ask for help when I was little!

Here's a picture of my grandmother and I on New Year's Eve. I hate this picture of me, but she looks beautiful. She IS beautiful. If it wasn't for her, I'd be WAAAAY more screwed up. She is the most important person in my life. She's caring, loving, kind AND she likes to go out and sing karaoke with us- I got lucky being born into her family :)

woooow, you're beautiful. Now I 100% believe Arsen loves you:)

Stacey, it's good that you understand your problem with lack of mother's love. It's true that kids who didn't have parents love try to please everyone around just to feel they are not bad.
My parents loved me, I believe. However, they always told me that everything I'm doing or I'm interested in is wrong and bullshit. My mom used to love to tell her friends about me by negative way.

I was so surprised to realize that negativity still gives me a lack of self confidence. I thought I solved that problem. I was aggressive, confident, I knew what to do with my life. As result, I was successful business executive. And... I got surprise.:) Since I came here in totally new environment, I've lost my confidence for all these years. Even I know it's wrong, something inside of my mind telling me I'm piece of shit like my parents used to tell me. I understand they wished the best for me in the way they knew "the best".

I suggest I lost my job only because I was too good:) It's funny, but all that time I was trying to be perfect just to prove I'm goooood. As result, I was too good. I tried to help my boss (but have been asked for help!) just to prove I' good. I always was so nice, so friendly, so efficient, so helpful. Well, I was above. The result is negative, people feels very uncomfortable if somebody is better than they.
That's why, Stacey, try to find your level of co-workers you're dealing with.
Maybe, it's easy to make you crying at work because you stress yourself trying to prove you're good. You're always in alert to be goad every moment. Relax:)
Looking back to your childhood, just say your mom thanks she gave you birth, pretty look and good brain:). And now move forward to yourself.
Don't you know where you are? Start looking for you.

I started again. I come back to my art and going to bring that to expensive gallery level. I'm set up my studio again, buying and making tools etc. Also, I 'm looking for another job will match with my educational level and my background. Also, I need to improve English because my English doesn't match with my educational level and my skills at all.
This is a plan. When you have a plan, you don't have time to look for definitions of problem, but you're ready to solve them.

Thanks for being so positive. You have very good insight, maybe you should be a therapist!
I hope things go well for you with your studio. Art is WAY more rewarding than business, and by the way, your english is good enought that you are able to communicate everything you want to say, even when talking about emotions and complex subjects, so don't be hard on yourself there.

Actually, that's not the case. Aspergers (which has ALOT in common with Autism and is seen in many circles as very mild and specifically socially oriented autism, jinx) is commonly diagnosed as Autism in early childhood. My son's doctors refused to label him with Autism, even though he was clinically diagnosable through the (at the time) DSM-III.

I don't know where you're getting your information, Stacey, but the quiz that you linked me to has no scientific value. It makes no distinction between children and adults. That quiz is not one that is used by professionals to determine formal diagnosis. My son's score is therefore meaningless because it's not the same test.

I'm really trying very hard not to be mean or anything, considering our past disagreements I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm telling you, Stacey, you may have some symptoms in common with Aspergers (which are also symptoms common to other problems, like Autism and bipolar disorder) but you don't have Asperger's.

Trying to self diagnose yourself is only going to lead to more problems.

I appreciate you trying to be nice, and because you were so nice, I'm able to admit that you're probably right. I have a lot of the symptoms, but I am also missing key symptoms- I am not clumsy and I am good at reading body language, etc.
I guess it's like trying to diagnose a headache. After researching enough, you could end up thinking that you have meningitis or brain cancer just because you have a few of the same symptoms, when in reality you have a stress tension headache.
I really do enjoy talking with people on the Asperger's forums, though. I feel like we just "click".
I have taken numerous personality tests over the years, trying to figure out what job would be good for me, etc. I always score as an introvert. I have been introverted all of my life, but I have also been working with the public since I was 14 and I was in public school since age 5, so I do know how to act with people. Anyway, I just got this book on introversion in the mail, and I think that's my thing. Maybe there's nothing really wrong with me, I just naturally need more down time, and I process everything internally rather than externally.
Although I wondered what the hell was wrong with me when I spent days printing out recipes from the computer and organizing in three-ring binders, with indexes by ingredient , ethnicity and meal type...?

See, there you go again ... if you are managing to waitress ... and are personable enough to score some decent tips, you're not as introverted as you think you are. The food sensitivity thing is weird, but there is an excellent chance that you are just :gasp: normal.

(which would including having a little bitty bit of a lot of the things you are reading about in the books).

So what you are saying, Wolf, is that there isn't a colored bracelet for what's bugging Stace? I know how much I hate it when stuff is wrong with me and it just turns out to be normal stuff.

http://www.cellar.org/images/newsmilies/poke.gif

The organizing internet info in three-ring binders did ring a bell, though. I have about three binders full of java tutorials that I printed out. Haven't taken a one of them. That was three years ago. Starting tomorrow, tho...http://www.cellar.org/images/smilies/3eyedsmiley.gif

I went through two weeks of training before I was on my own, and I basically just copy everything my trainer did. I know I should smile, so I do. I don't do any of that chit chat, though. I stick to basics. I say the same exact things to every table- "hi, how are you tonight, can I start you off with something to drink?" "okay, I'll be right back with that"..."here you go, would you like a few minutes to look over your menus?" then, either "sure, take your time" or "alright, what can I get for you?"..food comes out..."chicken teriyaki...steak au poivre...gourmet burger...Can I bring you any mayonaisse, vinegar, ketchup or extra napkins?...okay, enjoy your meal.."...."how is everything?...great." "can I take that for you?" or "would you like to wrap that?" "can I bring you any coffee or dessert?" check- "I'll be right back with that....I'll take care of this whenever you're ready..." "I'll be right back with your change"..."here you go, thank you very much, have a good night".


It's like a script to me! It's not really like socializing, I'm more like a smiling computer. And it does drain me. After work and the next day, I don't want to be around people at all, I need to be alone for a whole day before I have the urge to be around people again.
Being introverted doesn't make anyone abnormal, almost a quarter of the population is introverted, it's just the way the brain is wired. I guess I could be normal, though..What a concept.

Stacey, you sound a lot like me. It's so funny, because I feel like I can relate to you exactly in some areas...like the waitressing thing. I was a waitress for a while and it didn't last for the same reasons you don't want to continue to do it. I use to burst into tears uncontrollably...like a ticking time bomb that I couldn't shut off. It wasn't just waitressing, either. Other jobs, at times of high stress or as a result of an insensitive comment from someone, would cause me to cry, and I would try and hide and not let anyone know I was crying. It was like this curse that kept me from functioning "normally". I would think "how can all these other people function normally, and I cant?" "What is wrong with me?" I figured out that I am just highly sensitive. Simple as that. I try and surround myself with other sensitive people, too. It helps a lot. I try and use my passions and sensitivity to its advantage...like with art, music and other things that allow me self expression. I quit my "good paying" "respectable" job, got rid of extra bills, got out of the industry I was in, moved into half the space I had before, and enrolled in school at CU (University of Colorado) studying fine arts. I love it, because I feel like I fit in. The kids in school are all about 10 years younger than me (I am almost 28). But, I don't care as much as I thought I would. In some classes, I am a loner and people look at me in my pink hair and weird clothes like I am a freak. In some classes, I have made one or 2 friends. But, overall, the experience has been amazing, so far and I have drawn an immense amount of inspiration from everything around me, because I can now allow myself to let that "oversensitive" part free. I don't cry much anymore. I don't get down on myself much, either. I am learning to live everyday as a gift and an opportunity to explore more of myself and the world I see. I hope that helps a little bit, maybe...maybe not. I just thought I would relate my recent story and try and give a different perspective.

Case, I so admire that you had the guts to do what you did. Quitting a "respectable" job to follow your heart is just sooooo hard--I know, I tried to quit mine and found out very quickly that I could not survive on 6$/hour. I had to go back to the grind but I am trying very, very consciously to make it work for me and not become a slave to my emotions and feelings about the work, just go in and do what it is I do and forget all the insane, rotten, evil aspects of it. I couldn't change my situation, so I changed my mind. It's a daily battle, but it helps me to survive.

Thanks, Bri! I just found myself in an unusual opportunity which afforded me to do that. And had a lot of encouragement and support.

That is the way to do it - you can't control anyone else, or the world outside of yourself, but you can control your reactions, though it isn't necessarily easy.

Right, limey, not easy, but definitely worth it. It's weird because NOTHING on the outside has changed, but I can deal with it now. Funny what you can do when you've no choice!

Mind over matter. I you don't mind...it don't matter. ;)

"It's like a script to me! It's not really like socializing, I'm more like a smiling computer."


Stacey,
I've had the same feeling working in the store. I hated working there. "Hi, how're you doing today?...Thank you, have a nice day..." damm it!:)

Doesn't it suck to have to act fake all day?! I think it must be unhealthy to suppress your emotions and act opposite of how you're feeling. I read an article about that- it supposedly increases anger. Maybe THAT'S why I have road rage!

Stacey, a book called THE DANCE OF ANGER is pretty enlightening. It helped me a lot. Anger is a self-perpetuating cycle and if you refuse to participate in it, the asshole who pissed you off is left holding the bag! I work with people who are professional button-pushers (at least, they push MY buttons! I need to be more like Wolf!) and I used to react (I could feel my body react, even when I kept my mouth shut!) and the book helped. Somebody who says something crappy to you is just dying for your response--rob them of the response and they are left with the crap feeling they put out there--not you. I hope you're feeling better--you sound better!! :)

Stacey, yes, that sucks!
But as Brianna told you, if you can not change the situation, you better :) to change your mind. I started "wearing" my smile and positive work attitude as a dress:) It really helped.

I'll have to get that book the next time I go on a self-help shopping spree on Amazon :)
When someone hurts my feelings or makes me angry, my tactic is to completely avoid them. I won't look at them and I'll only speak to them if absolutely necassary, very cool and without making eye contact. I went a whole year without talking to my stepfather when I was 16- and we lived together! I went 1 1/2 years without talking to the cook who made me cry, except to say "I need fries on that club, please" and the latest mangirl who upset me, I'm not looking at her either. I just want them to fade away. Yeah, this is probably an unhealthy way to deal with them, but I can't bring myself to like people who hurt/ distress me, and it won't make my life easier if I tell them to f&%$ off every time I see them, either.
Besides, I didn't mention this in my first post, but the mangirl who upset me that day, well I told another girl about it and she could tell I was upset. She must have went to mangirl and told her she should apologize. I heard mangirl say, very loudly "I'm not gonna apologize for something if I'm not sorry!" And yes, I am sure that they were talking about the same situation, because I asked the nice girl, and she admitted that mangirl wasn't sorry and refused to apologize.
ANYWAY, yes, I am feeling better, I guess. I don't know. I have an appointment with a psychtherapist on Feb 7. I would like to see what I can do about my lack of motivation and boredom with life in general. ..But I have no problems that I can think of right now, except for this damn Visa/MC merchant processing sales job that I got myself into, that I don't want to do because it's boring and I hate sales, but I have all these friggin business cards, and I feel obligated, and my husband thinks it's such a good idea...UGH! Other than that, everything's peachy:)

Have you tried beating the ever-loving shit out of them? Sometimes that works. http://www.cellar.org/images/smilies/cool.gif

that only works for guys Beestie. guys can beat the hell out of someone, then drink a beer with them and tell a few raunchy jokes. women will hate someone, smile directly into their face after a verbal conflict, then harbor a grudge for 3 years after their own death.

Over any slight, real or *imagined*. :eyebrow:

Baahahaha! Good one. Shiiiiit, I wish. If he actually WAS smoking before work, why the hell isn't he sharing? God knows I could use some as a stress reliever.

Stacy: you hit the nail on the head when you said, "Doesn't it suck to have to act fake all day?! I think it must be unhealthy to suppress your emotions and act opposite of how you're feeling. I read an article about that- it supposedly increases anger. Maybe THAT'S why I have road rage!"

Try dealing with a chronic illness day in and day out. It will exhaust you and talk about anger...sheesh! And yes, it IS unhealthy to supress your emotions. Talk about a walking time bomb. Plus, you'll just get sick from the inside out...also not a good thing. Then, you'll just be more pissed for being sick, and the cycle starts all over...

Maybe if you can find the time to seek out a local support group. Talking about your problems with others who are going through a similar situation might help. Just make sure that they are not "fair weather Supporters". Those are people who will tell you to your face, "Yes, we will support you" and then in the next breath say, "Oh, suck it up and deal. How can we support you with such a negative attitude?" (trust me, I've been through this, and it sucks).

Support, IMO, should be unconditional. Not this, "I'll only support you if you do this" bullshit. At any rate, all the best to you! ;)

You've got that right. In Crohn's circles it's common to hear, "I'm sick and tired ... of being sick and tired."

Amen brother!

Oh for the love of god--you've all ripped that off from the alcoholics. They're sick 'n tired of being sick 'n tired, too.

Couldn't say where it originally came from. How do you know the alkies didn't get it from us? Plus I'd have to say we deserve it more. We don't do it to ourselves.

The other Crohn's poster I really liked was a picture of a digestive system with the logo: "I hate my guts."

Neither do they.

Yes they do.

I hope everything’s going well with your psychiatrist. I think I can help you (and save you $80 an hour :) ).

First, what is a 'problem'? Let’s try and define it.

When I do not like what is happening.
When I do not like what has happened.
When I do not like what is going to happen.

For example:

Things that have happened
- You have burst into tears at work
- You’ve had bad relationships with strangers/friends/lovers
- You have reacted emotionally to ‘little things’ that ‘shouldn’t bother you’ (who says?)
- You find yourself ‘complaining, bitching, whining and moaning about things that upset me’ (we all do that!)
- You have related well to people with Aspurges (who generally have more common sense than most)
- You have been diagnosed as ‘depressed’ by a standardised test

Things you think might happen
- You'll be diagnosed as mentally ill
- People won’t like or want you in their lives
- Life will get better if you change jobs
- You can’t change jobs because no one else will want you
- Life will get better if you exercise more
- People will think you’re whiney, weak or ‘hopeless’ for talking about your problems
- You’ll find your identity in a self-help book

Now I’m going to relieve you of these terrible burdens. The things that have happened are behind you. They do not exist any more. Gone. Say goodbye. Go on, it’s really true. You should already feel brilliant!

The things you think might happen are just thoughts. No one knows the future - it only exists in your thoughts. Reality NEVER matches up. You know when you’re afraid of something but it’s not that bad once it happens? Or when you can’t be bothered to go to the gym but enjoy yourself when you get there? All the same thing. You do not know the future.

So there's no point worrying about any of that.

Back to the present. The other source of problems is what is happening now. For example, you are in a traffic jam, and if it doesn’t start bloody moving in the next five minutes I’m going to be late for work getamoveonyoublindoldbat I have somewhere to be!

To me, this is madness. This is what everyone does. If you are mad Stacey, you’re not alone.

Why is this mad? Because you are resisting what is already happening.

Do you see the irony? It’s already happening! This is now!

So, if you can succeed in living life without reacting to what is going on around you, just observing with a slight smile on your face as you watch everyone else get exasperated with the present moment, then your problems will disappear. This is a guarantee. A quick fix and a long-term solution. Don’t waste your money on self-help books or expensive psychiatrists. Enjoy the moment!

;)

:thumbsup: I couldn't have put it better myself, catwoman. BUT .... it's not always so easy to do (ALWAYS worthwhile if you can manage it).