Hey Nothing But Net!
Serious competition
From Ike is my Cat!

Brianna likes me.
Should I tell her I'm married
or lead her on more.

Oops. Now she must know.
I forgot that she reads this--
There go my chances.

Ike, ever hear of
a thing called agape love?
Though I prefer sex.

Yup, I've heard of it.
Yeah. Like, my mouth was agape
seeing you nekkid.

There I go again...
Start typing before thinking;
only smut comes out.

Same disease as you-
Smut smut smut smut smut smut smut,
Smut smut smut smut, filth.

Won golf tournament:
4 strokes ahead of the next.
Who wants to touch me.

Golf, flirtation and
shorthand eroticism.
It's just not sexy.

I like Halloween
It is the Very Best One.
No holiday guilt.

Drug-laced candy corn--
trick or treat, sonofabitch;
Won't come back next year.

Drugs in Candy is
An Urban Legend, kneejerk.
Eat some candy, man.

My great sports weekend,
Didn't turn out like I'd planned...
It's all gone to shit

Enchilada plate,
You know the consequences,
Get out of my house!

Eagles didn't win...
Because it's their bye week!
Destiny awaits.

And by destiny,
UT means Nov. 28.
It's Giants time, son.

The phone is ringing
More coffee for the boss, now.
Christ I hate temping.

White guy at tight end?
Please you make me laugh so hard!
Fourteen points at least

Did not re-sign Duce
Bacon out of fire Cower
Big Ben breath easy

All this talk of sports
cellarites are off topic
back to whale penis

jacquelita has
the right idea, a-hole man.
long-live whale penii!

I want a camera (duosyllabic with Southern english accent - 'cam-ra')
to take photos of me in
front of the mirror.

Jettas are nimble
Gas Hog SUVs suck
Neons are the best

My son's car is loud
beat up and rusty body
HE says it SOUNDS sick[u]

creativity
expressive entertainment
imagination

Environment? Pfft...
I'll drive in my Pathfinder
and club baby seals.

After you take them,
you can post them on the web.
Appropriate place.

haiku discipline
crystalize thought in pure form
simple perfection

Serious haiku
makes me projectile vomit--
enough already.

Ike, you make no sense.
If you don't respect haiku
You should just abandon the 5-7-5 format and say what you really think

Ike you crack me up
I'm sorry you vomited
I'll go get the mop

The Yankees have lost
Sentenced to play game seven
Is the curse broken?

Yankees came to Shea
Three games later, walked out swept
Season ended then.

No one wants to think
That they are the absolute
Downfall: modern man

The Sox use Botox
And the Cards catch the bird flu
Astros all the way!

Tim is quite confused
The Astros are done tonight
Let's go Cardinals...yeah!

Oh, I did forget
Sycamore's from St. Loser
(Puts twenty on it)

There was no handshake
The offer of the twenty
Is now suspended

Are redheads better
is the question of the day.
I'll try one and see...

Mrs. Dallas passed this on from list for orchestra conductors. Some of them are pretty good.

> Squeaking and squawking
>
> All eyes roll to the heavens
>
> The clarinet speaks
>
> =====================
>
> One beat to change from
>
> Harmon to cup to bucket
>
> Hey, who wrote this s**t?
>
> =====================
>
> The jam session starts
>
> Somebody calls "Giant Steps"
>
> Cold fear grips my brain
>
> =====================
>
> Here's the girl singer
>
> Stepping to the microphone
>
> Pitch, Time, all gone now
>
> =====================
>
> Gig is going well
>
> Some one requests "In the Mood"
>
> I look at my watch
>
> =====================
>
> Gorgeous chick tells me
>
> "You sound just like Kenny G"
>
> My ego shatters
>
> =====================
>
> Three-eight, eleven-eight
>
> Damn you Andrew Lloyd Webber
>
> Five-eight, seven-eight
>
> =====================
>
> The woodwind doubler
>
> Practicing the piccolo
>
> Frustration defined
>
> =====================
>
> Pit orchestra gig
>
> Days and nights become as one
>
> I have no damn life
>
> =====================
>
> Bad intonation
>
> Strings are sharp and reeds are flat
>
> Brass too loud again
>
> =====================
>
> An oxymoron:
>
> "He plays the accordion
>
> With delicacy"
>
> =====================
>
> Bassoons forever
>
> Try in vain not to sound like
>
> A farting bedpost
>
> =====================
>
> The strings slowly tune
>
> When they're done the unison
>
>
>
>
> Are anything but
>
> =====================
>
> "I can't find my note"
>
> Bemoans the confused singer
>
> "Quit now", we all pray
>
> =====================
>
> ==================
>
> Money's everything
>
> Playing any gig that comes
>
> Whores, we are all whores
>
> =====================
>
> That plate of hors d'oeuvres
>
> Cost more than we're getting paid
>
> Think we underbid?
>
> =====================
>
> God bless trust fund gigs
>
> Only have to eat ramen
>
> For a few more weeks
>
> =====================

Ditched my class again
Wanted to write some haiku
SD's list scares me.

Lumber Jim wigged out
tw now has a rented mule
watch out for mind-melds!

I am so happy
I never flipped out in public
Hey where is my shirt?

damn I hurt my toe
is there a light switch in here
this is Jim's office!

i've been here before
but i can't remember when
why is this thread dead?

bring back the office
at least creative writing
ok, just haiku

aren't haikus about
an object from the outdoors?
perhaps an orchid?

i think that it's more
than just composing three lines
of various length.

Something is stirring
In the graveyard of archives;
A resurrection.

Oh lord. More haikus...
I thought this went far away
like the rash I had.

"a resurrection"
huhuh, you said erection.
uh huh huh huh huh

Shut your mouth, Beavis!
Or maybe it was Butt-Head?
I can never tell.

Please don't notice me.
I'm just doing my job here.
You should do yours too.

Way to kill the thread.
Sundae Girl tried the comeback,
but once again...failed.