Eat paint chips. Old ones. Perhaps off of a Doodad™.

Go to your company's main network room/closet, where all blinking lights are, and fiber optic lines, and cat 5 cables, and telco wiring, and co-ax cables.

Bask in the glory of the information age.


Then pull out your hedge trimmer and cut every wire you can reach.

Your thinking is small weedhopper. In the pursuit of true electronic damage a Super-Soaker 2000 filled with solution of super-saturated saltwater is the ultimate implement of destruction.

I like the fact that minimal physical damage is done with the hedge trimmer, yet the time it would take to reconnect everything is monumental.

Especially if all those connections are undocumented... but no. That would never happen. Everybody has complete & up-to-date documentation on where the data & voice wiring goes. :cool:

Ah, gotcha.

Yeah the rewiring works if you don't want to cause too much physical damage.

Anybody here read the Bastard Opperator From Hell?

Mike, DoDad is TM, Doodad is a legitimate word that spellchecker will accept.:D

Originally posted by Troubleshooter
Ah, gotcha.

Yeah the rewiring works if you don't want to cause too much physical damage.


Just a preference. It's the difference between taking somebody's completed 8000 piece jigsaw puzzle and scattering the pieces all over the floor, compared to pouring kerosine over the whole thing and lighting it.


Anybody here read the Bastard Opperator From Hell? [/quote]

I read the first few. The technology is a little dated by now, but its meanness withstands the test of time. Great stuff.

>clickety clickety click<...

Sever your ring finger from your hand and lose your wedding ring down the drain of any fastfood's restroom facilities.

And then tell your SO that one of the nurses must have stolen it.

Or right after you get any sort of dentist work done, go stock up on gummie worms. Torture at its best.

Isn't this the plot line from a Law and Order-SVU episode? ;)

BOFH is still regularly updated on The Register. Just look for a headline with "BOFH". I don't think it's as good as it used to be, but it can be fun.

I noticed the BOFH that's up now points to 4 years of archives at the bottom of the page.

Hmm. How did you *ever* guess?

Unfortunately, the severed finger does not have to be raped/sodomized/touched wrongly from your hand. However, if you prefer the SVU version of events, by all means go for it.

let's revive this one - it looked like fun.

here's my suggestion for someone outthere - Urge your SO to enter an amateur night competition at a local strip club - then vote for one of the other contestants.

Stop showering. Wear the same clothes every day and night (sleep in them) for months and step in all the dog-doo you can find. Mutter to yourself and have occasional violent outbursts. Stare really long and hard at people.

Find out where your boss shops.
Then, wear the same outfit he (or she) does the day after them.

Kiss a cat on the mouth.

When your kids reach middle-school encourage your wife to play with babies and make sure she's off the pill.

Hang a dead animal in your house for a week then use it for a surfboard. :greenface

"Freddie's Heart Attack Sandwich"--served open-faced on Texas Toast with tomatoes, ten slices of bacon, and drenched in queso (melted cheese with peppers for you weirdo northerners.)

Eat the whole thing. Then skip dinner.

well there is always the old standby - call out the wrong name during sex. if you really want to make life interesting, make it a name from the "wrong" sex. your home life is bound to be lively for awhile.

Become elderly or disabled in Missouri. Rely on Medicaid for part of your healthcare needs or the Public Service Commission to keep your utility rates in line. Continue to vote for Republican governors who aspire to impress the big boys in Washington.

Refuse to leave your house for any reason, and offer no explanation to family, friends, or employers. When the cops come to check your welfare, urinate on them through the slats of your boarded up windows. When they finally break in with a SWAT team and the whitecoats, be in the shower.

In advance, prepare several dozen videotapes of yourself in the shower. Have them playing in several rooms simultaneously at the time of your arrest.

When buying a house, take the seller's word for it that the basement/roof leaks only in "hurricane conditions". Fill the attic with treasures and pile the rest on the basement floor.

Feed wild bears with sumptuous morsels of fresh salmon for a couple of weeks. Go hiking in the woods with fish pinned to your down jacket.

A few pieces of bad advice garnered from AD&D

During a thunderstorm, stand on the top of a hill in plate armor, raise your sword to the sky and shout "All Gods are Bastards!!"

At full speed on horseback, charge into a densely wooded forest after your direst foe, who appears vulnerable. (To this day I can hear the player ask me ... "Why do I have to make a saving throw?")

Books bound in human skin do not make good bedtime reading.

Go to a pro wrestling match and lick the bosom of one (or all) of the wrestler's girlfriends. :bolt:

Go to Bing-hamp-ton....Find a cop. Strip down naked and paint you face red. Approach the occifer yelling and screaming while brandishing you favorite handcannon.

Tell someone that you have a problem w/dog packs. And he bring you a 22 Ruger with a scope and a baby nipple wired to it. Damn. That's all I need.

Join the Tom Cruise for President campaign.

Get drunk at your company Christmas party and hit on your bosses wife

Have sex with two women at your job, then let them know about each other.

Invest in solar powered flashlights

Do your wife doggy style and then shout out the name of your ex-girlfriend just as you're about to climax.

Eat lots of refried beans and then sit near the campfire.

Go to the Apollo theater, and shout out, "Which one of you niggers has change for a hundred?"

Compliment your wife by saying she blows you way better than her sister does.

Ask Radar for help in doing your taxes.