Eh, fuck it. ::shrug::

funny kids
 

My turn:
Nan my five year old is standing in the kitchen, crowing about her valentines..
Nan: Mom I have kitty ones, puppy ones, spongebob and barbie ones. Just look at all this candy...Mom, I am living Manda's dream. (Manda is her 4 year old cousin)
When Nan was 2 1/2 and just learning to talk she was attempting to carry an armload of toys to her room. Every two steps she would drop something and have to stop and pick it up. About the fourth time this happened she stomped her tiny foot and yelled..."HUCK"...she hadn't learned to make the "F" sound yet.
Tuesday night I was in the kitchen with my husband Carm. We were trying to figure out how the phone company had come up with the astronomical amount on our bill this month.
Me: Those Bastards!
Laney (age 3): Mom I hate bastards!
Me: me too Lane.

so I'm taking a bath the other morning while everyone is getting ready to go to school/work. Ripley, my 3 yr old daughter, comes in and is talking to me as i wash my hair. So she says, " Um, Daddy, So How come you're a big fat guy?"

"WHAT?" i said

"How come you're big and fat?"

"Too much food"

Jamey is obsessed with the Back to the Future trilogy. He has a kid sized motorized jeep in our living room. Yesterday morning I walked in on him standing beside the jeep saying "What are you doing in my car, old man?"

Friend of mine has a 4-yo.

He walks into the room with a booger on his finger.

"Hey! Where'd that come from??"

He looks up all deadpan.

"Sears."

my son is 5. ripley, my daughter is 3. Shelby found this the other day: It's spencers handwriting

ripley was very upset, because spencer said he was going to give it to his friend at school.

He's clearly your boy.

Have you discussed his spelling with him?

not terribly concerned about it(his spelling) at this point. He is 5. He's been reading a little bit since he was 4, but now, seems to have no difficulty reading whatever i put in front of him. He read both his, and his sister's fortune cookies to me last night. He has difficulty with spacing his words, too, but i think, the more he reads, the better he'll get. You think he gets that from me> you don;t know jinx well enough yet, that's all.
back when we were flirting with each other, but both involved with other friends, i came up a trail that we were hiking to discover, scratched in the gravel," JIM LIKES BOYS".......so, i'll have to give jinx credit for this particular stunt....speaking from a genetic predisposition to types of humor standpoint, that is.

I just overheard this exchange in the livingroom:

Megan is 5, and really loves cooking. She got a just-for-kids cookbook for Christmas, and she and her daddy were going through the desserts section, trying to decide which one to make later this week.

They come to an entry called "Chocolate Pudding Cake," which involves a layer of chocolate pudding topped by a layer of chocolate cake. He reads out some sidebar text to her, which states that "When this crazy cake is baked, you can have your cake and pudding, too. The cake is on the top and the fudgy pudding is on the bottom."

He explains that the first part is a joke, a play on "have your cake and eat it too."

Megan pauses, and then cries out, "Oh, I get it! They say the pudding is on the bottom, because it looks like poop and poop comes out your bottom!"

Ones me and my husband ordered chicken from the Hootters restaurant. After we ate, my boy said ,"Nice hootters!"

this morning my daughter told me that my voice didn't smell good.

Secret drinkin' in the AM again, Jimbo?

Sad but true. . .
 

While singing softly to my little boy-child --he hadn't been feeling well, and so I was rocking him to sleep-- he looks up at me and places his teensy hand up to my lips and utters his first complete sentence to me,


"Mommy, please don't sing."

:(

He still cant stand my singing voice and so I torture him with it at least once a week. :D

At least he's a polite lad.

He's a little knight in shining armor awaiting some damsel to save.

...if the witch of a sister he's got doesn't break him before he reaches adolescence, he'll be a noble one indeed, methinks.

last night my son hit my daughter. I got pretty mad because it was the second time that day. So i told him it was time for bed. He started toward the back stairs, but i was heading to the front, so i put my hand on his shoulder and turned him. " You almost killed me!" he said. "Yeah, I'm about to kill ya" I said sarcastically.

Without missing a beat he said, " But I wanted a LONGER life!"

Just overheard the kids talking...

girl: what do you think of when you hear the word "spring"?
boy: bouncing
girl: oh, I think of red
boy: wanna know what I think of when I hear the word "red"?
girl: what?
boy: federalism
girl: what the hell is that?
boy: I don't even really know.... something to do with politics

Not one of mine, but a friend:
After graduating form College with an art degree (haha) this woman got a job as a school bus driver. First day of driving the second graders are getting on the bus with their macaroni collages they made and the woman is getting all verklempt at the sweet poignant memories of her own grade school art projects and she hears a kid behind her say to her seat-mate
"Get off my macaroni collage, you mother fucker."

It just wasn't the same for her after that.

OMG.

I lol'd so hard I had to set my coffee cup down just now.

My daughter's Kindergarten class just recently celebrated their 100th day of school. One of the things they did was discuss what they would do with $100.

me, very interested in her answer: "so, what did you say?"

she: "I would buy a guinea pig, and then a puppy. Then if I had at one dollar left, I would give it to the poor" (she is fixated on "the poor" lately)

me, slightly proud of her for thinking of that: "Oh, that's really thoughtful. But why only a dollar?"

she: "Well, what can you buy with only one dollar these days??"

me::right:

HA! Kids are great.