Breakfast is no more than sludge in the septic tank now. Nice.

What's even nicer is the two year old standing next to you saying, "What's that Mummy. That's smelly.", but what makes is better is when you sit down on the bed afterwards and the same two year old climbs up next to you and says, "Are you ok Mummy? Let's have a smooch."

I guess I can just focus on getting more of the same at the end of all this.

The same goes for being incarnated as a human, for that matter.

Yeah that's true I guess. I suppose I just think that as humans we have more chance to change our circumstances, but it's not so easy for some.

She'll be worth every dry heave, darling.

Just found out yesterday about the news, ali !

Congratulations!

sundae, bless her heart, called and let me know! Good for you!!!

Just think of the baby as your Dark Passenger (hee hee hee hee hee!)

sorry you're puking but as sundae said, the darling will be worth it.

Thanks Bri. And let's hope so. lol

I had a 12 week scan yesterday.

There's only one in there and it all looks pretty good, so I guess we're on our way for real now.

I'm still feeling quite ambivalent about this baby. My heart is just not in it yet, but I hope it gets with the program soon. Maybe when it starts moving around it'll seem more real. Mind you, the illness I've been feeling has been enough of a reminder of the reality.

Anyway, onwards and upwards I guess.

Isn't that onwards and outwards??

hang in there Ali.. We're rooting for you.

It was the rooting that got me into this mess. :( But thanks V.

Maybe that's what V means... you should have outsourced the rooting to subcontractors, so that your liability was limited in the case of a chemical spill at the plant.

Abs had her 20 week scan today.
Boys. Both hale and hearty apparently.

So at least now I can look at wholesale bundles on ebay for the right gender...

Glad to hear all is well with you Ali.
Hope the sickies pass soon.
Any colourful dreams yet? Colourful in either meaning of the word ;)

Actually, I had a dream the other day that you were in. I can't remember the context really or any details, but I remember in my conscious mind thinking how weird it was to be dreaming a dream that you were in. That's probably what ruined the course of the dream. I think it had something do with us both being single and heading out for a night on the town.

I ruined your dream :mecry:
Ah well, there'll be others.

I dreamed the other night that I was looking after a coconut that had little aliens inside. I had to carry it everywhere and respond to its needs. It was like a living Tamagotchi. Very obviously about Abs and the family reaction.

When do you get pics?
Is that at 20?
That would have to make it real. And you would need to post them here to make it realler anyway.

I have pics from the scan the other day.

At the moment it just looks like an alien though. I didn't feel that, "oh look! It's my baby!!!" reaction when I saw it. All I could think was, oh well, here we go I guess. It didn't help that she had to do an internal scan (meaning up the whatsit) which really sucked.

All I could think of was all the indignities a woman has to go through just to have a child. I'm just not really in the mood for all the poking and prodding. I felt like giving her a smack in the mouth by the time it was finished because I felt so violated.

Stupid, but that's how I felt.

btw, it was shaping up to be a good dream Sundae. It's a shame it got interrupted.

So, for those of you who've missed my complaints elsewhere, I'm still throwing up all over the place.

Anyway, today I went do the doc for a check up and had a winge to her. She put me on maxillon to try and stop the vomitting, so I've taken my first one.

The troubling thing was that my BP is going up even though I'm on medication. 140/92 today. Anything over 90 is a worry when you're pregnant apparently. something to do with blood flow to the placenta. When I was pregnant with Max I was hospitalised a couple of times because they were worried about it, but the high bp didn't even start till the third trimester last time. If it's going up already and I'm on medication, it's not a good sign. So anyway, she upped my medication for that, so we'll see what effect it's had by Friday when I go to the ante natal clinic at the hospital for my check in/let's hear all about it appointment. Hopefully it'll be better under control by then and I'll be fine.

Anyway, just thought I'd give you all an update.

Sorry its a rough one Ali.

Nature's way of telling you she's your last go-round Ali.
But yeah, /\ WHS/\.

Hang in there (and tell her the same).

Thanks guys. :) It'll be fine I'm sure.

I had my first hospital appointment today.

They want me to go for psychological assessment.

They are worried that I'm developing ante-natal depression.

I think it's just normal hormones and having been sick. It's natural not to be feeling on top of the world.

Anyway, I guess the psychologist will decide whether their suspicions are true.

It's hard to be objective when, like you say, the hormones are coursing through your veins. Ante-natal depression is common, and would be especially understandable given all the stress you're under. I'm glad you're going into it with an open mind; better to have it checked out, just like any other risk factor. How much longer before they tell you the gender? I don't know about you, but for me knowing the gender always alleviated stress, just because now I had something specific to plan for, you know?

Yeah, just a couple of weeks for that Clod. I'm looking forward to finding out, and yes, I do feel better as all those types of variables are ticked off.

I know I don't feel as emotionally strong as I need to, but I don't think I'm actually depressed. If I am, it's nowhere near as bad as it was after I had Max.

IIRC, that was quite a difficult time for you, right?

Yeah that's right classic. They put me on zoloft which really helped. I have been concerned that I'd go down the same path again after the baby was born. It never occurred to me that it might happen before.

Oh well, we'll see how it goes.

good luck!

Well, I'm at the half way mark now. I will have a scan next week to determine the sex (hopefully).

I seem to be mostly over the sickness now which is a blessing. I still get a bit woozy and have the odd hurl, but mostly I'm pretty good. I was starting to feel pretty normal until the last day or so when I started getting a cold the kids have all had. I'm sure I'll survive it, although it's annoying that it's come just as I'm feeling a bit better.

Haven't heard from the hospital about being depressed. I don't really think I am. I just don't feel that desolate about everything. I'm not going to ring them and follow up about it because I don't think there's any need. I guess if they were that worried they'd have called me by now. It's been a month.

Anyway, that's it for now. If there's anything exciting to tell you about the scan, I will do so. Personally, I think it's going to be a girl, but I'd rather just have another boy. oh well. We don't always get what we want.

Your boys will all dote on a girl, you'lll have an easy parenthood......

If it's a girl, I'm hoping she'll just be a big nerd during her teenage years. I doubt I'll have the patience to deal with the usual teenage girl garbage when I'm in my 50's. lol I'll probably just ship her off to her big brothers and their wives (assuming they're settled by then).

you won't have to. Way older brothers will see to that shit, I'm telling you. She won't feel the need to create to get attention. and she'll probably fancy their friends so be good as gold.

I bloody hope not. Most of them will be at least 15 years older than her! lol

right. Safe as houses. She'll be interested, they wont.

They'd better not be or her big brothers will have a lot to say about it, and not just with their mouths I'd guess.

Anyway, I think I'd better just wait and see if my feelings are right before I start worrying about stuff that hasn't even happened yet (and in all likelihood wont anyway) lol.

exactly.

stop worring, period. Either way, they have competant sibs to help you out.

It's a girl!

I knew it was going to be.

Yay! I think a girl growing up in your household will have an awesome time and you're a great role model!

Thanks limey. :) I'm glad you think that. I doubt myself a lot lately, so something positive is very nice to hear. xxx

Cellaria.
Cella.

Fantastic Ali! Do the big boys know yet? They must be SO excited.

Oh that girl is going to have such a great time with all those big brothers. That's wonderful!

That is so exciting!!!
We should have a name contest!

I'm doubting that Cellaria will make the cut, but wouldn't it be cool if you actually named her Aliantha?

Thanks guys. We already have a name for this one, and it's not Aliantha. hehe

Eva Claire

Claire is for my cousin who died when we were just in our 20's after a riding accident, and Eva just because it's a nice classic name that should carry her through life without too many troubles.

Oh, and I think Aden at least is worried about this little girl being a spoiled brat who's going to cramp his style, which may in part be true, but with any luck she'll have a really sweet nature like Max which will take the edge off the other stuff.

Max just can't wait for her to arrive.

Mav is just taking it on the chin (which is a really funny phrase to have come to mind since he's sporting a couple of stitches there after a head clash at footy last night) and being fairly non committal about it all, which is his usual style so he doesn't have to eat his words later.

Does wolf know about this name?!

Very pretty!

I don't know Bri. I'm sure she will soon though. :)

Are you pronouncing it "ay-vah," or "ee-vah?"

How old is Aden now? I was thinking he'd be out of the house before this little girl even gets old enough to be a real brat, but maybe I've misremembered his age...

EEvaaaaahhh...Like in the movie wall-E (as has been pointed out since we picked the name).

Aden will be 16 when she's born (provided she's not more than 6 weeks early) so yeah, getting older, but he's planning on going to Uni which is just up the road from here, so I suspect he'll be around for a few years yet.

Oh I knew it was a girl as soon as you posted here!
(okay, just basic odds)

Happy for you :)
And laughin up my sleeve that everyone will assume you were holding out for a daughter. Like Posh & Becks.

Congrats, darling.

Thanks Sundae, and it's true that the reactions to it being a girl have been OTT to say the least, and all I can do is stand there and say, "yeah, it's a girl. Yeah, it's nice, but I probably would have preferred another boy." The look on some people's faces has been priceless. It goes everywhere from, 'are you crazy' to 'holy shit, you really are crazy'.

Don't say that Ali. Some thoughtless bitch is going to tell her you would have preferred a boy and that's a shitload of emotianal baggage for some.

Oh I'm pretty sure that when she's throwing a teenage girl hissy fit I'll lose my patience and say something like, "See, this behaviour is why I thought it would be easier to have another boy. Stop being such a girl!" ;)

Hopefully, at this point, because I've been such a wonderful parent so far, she'll laugh and go play in the mud or something.

Besides, I'm sure she'll get enough sooking throughout her life to make up for any bitchy comments that might come her way. :)

So, I mentioned elsewhere that the docs told me yesterday that I have gestational diabetes. It was a bit of a surprise, and I'm still in a bit of shock over it all, but my logical brain is already dealing with it. Emotionally it's a bit rough mostly because this is turning out to be a pretty difficult pregnancy and I just wasn't prepared for any other challenges.

So anyway, I'm supposed to eat small meals which are low in sugars and high in fibre every few hours. The biggest problem with this is that I'm just not that hungry really. I feel like if I start stuffing myself I'll just vomit. Anyway, I suppose I just have to have a cracker or a stick of celery or something in between main meals. I haven't really been eating that much at all though. I think my stomach has shrunk a bit after all the vomiting and even if it hasn't, I think I'll just get indigestion worse if I eat too much.

Life sux just at the moment, but I'm trying to bouy myself up with planning and getting started on setting up the room for the baby, which will realistically be here in as little as 10 weeks, so it's time to get started I guess.

First though, I have to have a rescan because they couldn't see some parts of the baby in the 20 week scan, so hopefully that'll all be fine and I wont have anything else to worry about on top of that.

The good news is, the medication seems to be keeping my BP close to normal so far, so as long as I don't forget to take it, things are ok that way.

Don't get pregnant when you're old. It sux.

You know I am happy for you Ali, and know you will cope and be a wonderful Mother (again) with your very awesome family.

Reading this has made me very very happy that our little conversation a month ago turned out the way it did!!!! :)

lol...I'm glad too Ducky. 40 is way too old to have another kid.

I'll be heading up to Dad's after the hol's. Hopefully we can have a catch up then. xxx

Fruit juices might be a bit high in sugar, but vegetable juices might be just the thing. Carrot/apple*/celery/ginger is good. What do you think?


*yeah, I know, so what.

They said I can have two pieces of fruit a day, or as much watermelon or strawberries as I like (within reason of course). Low in sugars.

I usually just drink water anyway, and my diet is not high in sugar in any case. I'm only just over the threshold, so I don't know if it might have had something to do with being sick at the time I took the test, but it doesn't matter too much now. I'll just modify my eating habits a bit and only have half a teaspoon in my coffee in the morning. I can give up deserts and sweets for 10 weeks or so. It's not like I've been eating much of that stuff so far anyway having been pretty crook a lot of the time.

I have to go to a learning session on Wednesday, and they'll give me one of those little pin prick tester things, so I'll know if I'm going wrong or not on a daily basis.

I'm less concerned about it than I was a few days ago now that I've had some time to do some research and get used to the idea. As far as I can tell, it's what comes after the pregnancy that's the real concern. I'll have to get straight back into the regimen I was in before I got preggers and dump any excess weight I have and generally get myself to the place I was heading for anyway, but without delay.

50% of women who have gestational diabetes end up with type 2 diabetes within 5 years. I don't intend to be a part of that statistic.

You go, girl!

I'm gonna go and go and go and go. ;)

Nothing at all to do with you, Ali, but it irritates me so much that they told you this.

Carbs=sugar as far as your body is concerned, and you would get so much more bang for your buck by eliminating cereal/bread/pasta/rice/potatoes instead of fruit. But they know that the average person just isn't going to do that. So instead they tell you to give up fruit, because lots of people will do that.

Oh yeah I know all that already. I actually asked specifically about fruit because being winter here it's not as much salad weather, but fruit with plain yoghurt or something is nice still (I know, call me weird) or cheese and fruit is a nice snack food.

I'm just having a bircher muselie for breaky and then trying to stick to whole foods for the rest of the day, with mostly veges and proteins. It's going ok, and I feel fine anyway, so I think it'll all be fine.

Yeah, I know you're a smart chick and you'll be fine regardless. I'm just on a hair trigger about doctors trying to play nutritionist. Did they say you have to start the finger pricks right away, or is it a wait and see thing?