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I believe that's just making you look more unreasonable and bitchy.
If you don't want another person disrupting your life, don't invite them into your life, or invite them as closely as you have Chatty Cathy. |
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Almost everyone who replied in this thread was amusing, supportive, or gently teasing... in other words, perfectly nice. Only you and Undertoad decided to be the emissaries that undermined the "Cellar support" you like to tout so much. Quote:
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And you stepped right in line behind him when I called him on it. |
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It's not a gigantic issue, it's just something that was frustrating me that I needed to vent about... you know, let off steam so that the resentment wouldn't build up. I actually WORK in my office, I get up at 7 am and pack lunches and take my kids to school and then come home to relax, drink a cup of tea and answer customer emails and get my head in a space where I can go to my studio and be productive. It's hard to do that when someone's grabbing for your attention every few minutes. She's friends with all my friends, and is online in most of the places I'm online, so I figured I could vent about it here safely. |
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People annoy you. There are only two choices: 1. Get them to stop annoying you. 2. Stop being annoyed. Can't tell you how much easier it is to achieve #2. You know what I've got now? I've got two adult children living in my house RENT FREE -- and I have a bad mortgage and no job. They leave the lights on. They don't clean anything. They don't DO anything around the house, unless they get paid for it. They wake me up all hours of the night and morning. They break stuff. They take stuff. They borrow stuff. They lose stuff. They bring smelly toddlers into the house and hide dirty diapers in a trashcan in the corner of the living room. They play the TV and video games at maximum volume and never turn them off when they leave. Their baby mama stays over and goes into a two-hour crying jag at 5am. They forget to flush and leave pee fermenting in the toilet. They eat the food I bought for myself. They park behind me in the driveway. They have top-volume screaming arguments that make no sense and move from in the house, out into public. They appreciate nothing I do, except for when I hand them a plate of home-cooked dinner, at which time I get a cursory thank you, which I'm very grateful for. If they were chatty at me in the morning it would be interesting, because most days we don't say two words to each other. I would welcome it, actually. But me, I'm chill baby. At the end of the day, all this nonsense, it all rolls off my back. I complain from time to time, and I'd rather it not happen, but I can manage. It doesn't bug me deep down to the bone. Because the real idea, the thing that actually matters is housing these kids while they have a shot at becoming successful adults. I love their mom and I'm doing it for her. Being chill is, I believe, a good way to be. So that's what I suggest to you. If it feels like a burden, or an endless compromise in which you lose, you aren't getting it yet. |
Yes, we're out to get you. I'm not sure how that works since everyone is supposed to be out to get me, but we'll go with it.
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The flowchart of what each of you is thinking this conversation is about is fascinating.
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Flowchart. SNort.
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Well that's me told eh? I'll be sure not to post any further advice Tiki. Youthought it was dumb advice. I, as I have alredy explained, was simply positing a way of looking at things that helped me.
Fuck you Tiki. |
By flowchart I don't mean the calendar where female housemates schedule their periods.
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Oh, good for you. Clearly, you're a better person than I am. :right:
I have a perfectly good mortgage. I have three kids living with me. I am self-employed and working my ass off to keep that mortgage current and those kids fed, clothed and housed. I'm the only one here to do that, so I'm doing it. I am working on gently getting my housemate to give me my space in the morning. In the meantime, I thought I'd be able to vent here without getting shit on by someone who thinks he's superior because nothing gets to him. Good for you. You're chill. You win +9000 points. If I were more chill, would I be able to do what I do? I don't know. All of the things that go into my personality, including the high-strung, anxious, introverted things, have made me a successful artist and businesswoman, and if having my nerves worked by noise and chatter is part and parcel of that, in the end it still means my kids have a roof over their heads and food on the table. So be it. Some of this is hereditary... all you have to do is look at my youngest, who has an auditory processing disorder and who is temperamentally exactly like me, to see that. Noise, being talked at for no reason, and especially repetitive noises make her lose her shit... she'll scream and cry and lock herself in her room. At least I don't do that, I just cry about it on an internet forum. Quote:
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I already had that conversation with you, Dana. I told you exactly what I thought about what you said, which is no different from what I said about it here. Shawnee brought it up again, so I clarified that it was what she was referring to. |
Apology accepted. See how easy that was?
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CAREFUL!
it's still morning where she is! |
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I don't know what I would do if I had a morning chatterer. Yes I do. My wife used to drive me to work, and she tried to chatter at me. I told her to shut up. She complained that I wake up in a good mood, but then my personailty goes back to sleep. I think it's more of a "gathering my strength for the coming day by looking inward for a few quiet moments" thing. By the way, our daughter is exatly the same way. Be it nature or nurture, the offspring pick up our little quirks. I don't try to worry too much about our kids getting messed up in the head because we're so cuckoo--because I know it's inevitable. They'll absorb it by osmosis even if we try to force our behavior to change. About the only thing we can do is work on genuinely improving ourselves. That is, if improvement is warranted. For the most part, I think I am more effective by embracing my irregularities. Maybe that's what we need to teach them. How's that for post drift? |
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It sure as fuck is, and not a great one either.
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oh.....and isn't Undertoad an introvert?
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I think that changing to suit my environment, or trying to, would have killed me long before now. But by working with what I have I've been able to parlay my nature into a life that is good and productive. I know I find it difficult to live with people, although I have been told I'm easy to live with. I'm not territorial about my things. I have many pets and am a bit messy and fairly relaxed about everything except my workspace, which is the one area I'm having a hard time defending right now. My ex used to chatter at me, and I told him that I really need quiet time in the morning to prepare for my workday. He didn't like that, but he accepted it. My housemate, I think, also accepts it, but she also forgets, and I think her idea of "quiet" is different from mine. I also don't think she is able to process that when I'm sitting in front of my computer in the morning, I'm either working or gearing up to work, and it's not social time. My morning starts about two hours before hers... by the time she gets up, I've taken the kids to school and gone to the grocery store. Then I'm ready to start my workday. Maybe, too, she has no trouble focusing on work when people are talking to her. I do. If I were able to change that aspect of myself, I would have long ago. What I need to do is move my office upstairs. Unfortunately, the room it could go in needs (and I mean requires, not desires) some heavy renovation before it's usable as an office space. It's basically unfinished attic space, and I don't have the money for materials, so it waits. |
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In radio studios they have an "ON AIR" light to alert people to be QUIET ON THE SET (or at least it's this way on TV). I think, maybe it's difficult to recognize the boundaries of a non-traditional workspace, unless you're not the person sitting there gearing your head up for WORK mode. I would think, however that this could be communicated somehow...
UNLESS THAT'S TOO HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND, YOU PASSIVE-AGRESSIVE WEIRDO BITCH. Am I doing this right? |
I'd say aggresive-aggressive (which I personally prefer to passive), but other than that, bravo.
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I know this sets womankind back to caveman times but somehow when someone is overreacting I just can't help thinking they need Midol.
:bolt: |
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I have tried a few methods of conveying "I AM WORKING NOW" and I have also told her that I want her not to play with the dogs in my office because it's my workspace and it needs to be clean and quiet, and that she must not talk to me when I'm doing shipping or answering emails because if I am distracted I am likely to make a mistake. She seems to forget, so maybe I need to come up with some visual way of reminding her. It gets tiresome to have to constantly say "Hey housemate, I'm trying to work now, OK?" Her ex-boyfriend, who is one of my best friends, says that when they were together she was terrible about this... it's like she just can't help it. I kind of think that it won't get better until I am able to move my office to a room that has a door I can close. And lock. A soundproof door... she tends to try to shout from other rooms, and from up or down stairs, so that I have to stop what I'm doing and go open the door or stand by the staircase and say "What?" in case it's important, only it's almost always something utterly meaningless and absurd, like "Kittycat says he was really looking forward go going tie-shopping today, only it turns out the tie shop is closed". |
sounds like you live with Phoebe from Friends......and you're that mean brunette
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B: wrong time of month C: you'll know overreacting when you see it. This is not it. |
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There is a 7 day difference from last month's meltdown...
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If I were mean, I simply would have made her cry by now, instead of posting about my frustrations on an internet forum full of strangers in order to make certain my irritation doesn't get back to her and hurt her feelings. Also, the way I type is the way I talk, but for some reason it just never comes across in person. I could say "Listen housemate, your incessant morning chatter is making me want to stab you to death, I need to work and I can't get shit done with your mouth running with constant nonsense; can you shut the fuck up and leave me alone?" and I swear to god she would just giggle and make a joke about how she's driving me to murder, go away for five minutes, and then come back and do it some more. And then if I say "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" she'll go "OH I forgot!" and skip away. And then come back and do it again the next time a thought pops into her head. I think it's something about the delivery. I can't seem to get enough MEAN into my voice. |
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By "voice" I am talking about the sounds produced by my vocal cords, not the style embedded in my writing. |
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Clearly not very much. |
Something needs to be done about the 30-second wait between posts. It gets me almost every time.
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Back to plan A
>hands Tiki some Midol with a Vodka chaser... |
I'm not in pain, and I can't drink in the mornings because it gives me a headache and makes me sleepy.
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Is women telling each other that they need Midol like black people calling each other nigga? Cuz i wouldn't dare doing either of those things
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No, it's the equivalent to a 6th-grader calling another 6th-grader ugly.
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I can sorta Dig what Tiki is saying , when im focused on doing some thing I try to make the rest of the world go AWAY so I can consentrate ,
when im formating a ticket at work ( printer ticket) , and you are setting the bumpers , I told YOU to set the bumpers because I KNOW you can handle it and leave me alone to concentrate on landing the data in the fields on the ticket and adjusting them so they do, I should not need to go get you the tools to do this , you SHOULD have the tools your self , I should not need to tell you the gap distance to set , its on the prints or on the sticker that is RIGHT FUCKING THERE ( On the bumper) So ya I can sorta See where Tiki is comeing from . Touches Tikis Ass !! __________________ |
Maybe Nirvana has terrible PMS and assumes that everyone else does too. Who knows.
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> hands Zippy a Beam and coke ;)
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Well I just read about 50 posts in this thread and all I have to say is.
1) Tony has earned even MORE respect from me. 2) Shawnee HAS been out crazied 3) Flint has some serious depth and 4) STFU Tiki I wonder if she would still consider you a friend after the fucking crap you posted here about her. That is all. |
Pass one over here vana!
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Its Friday and its 5 o'clock somewhere! The bar is open have a drink! :) We also have energy drinks, aspirin, advil, excedrin and midol on the revolving tree! Choose you poison!
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:lol: |
"Classicman", have you never complained about someone you cared about? Ever? Do you think they would still like you if they knew?
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... How would those help me? :lol: Add MORE noise to my morning?
Basically I just wanted to vent. I thought the knitted ball gag suggestion was the most helpful one... because it made me laugh, defusing my frustration. Oh well, some people will never "get" other people's quirks and foibles gives 'em something to feel superior about, I guess. |
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I have no problem with other people's quirks and foibles AS LONG AS THEY DON'T ENCROACH UPON MY SPACE OR INFRINGE ON MY WELL-BEING
For instance, if someone's quirk is raping people, other people have a right to be intolerant of that. That's all it comes down to... respecting people enough to not shit on their personal space. |
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Cervicalmucous, you and Undertoad seem to believe that a quiet person loses their personal space rights when it comes to being encroached upon by a talkative person. Do you also believe that if she were a smoker, I would need to suck it up and let her smoke in my house? Do you believe that if I asked her not to, I would be disrespecting her right to smoke, rather than asserting my right to not breathe her smoke?
I believe that I should, as a human being, have the right to not have someone try to engage me in banter when I do not want to. I believe that I have the right to not be talked to when I need to not be distracted. I am not trying to impose anything on anyone else; I am only trying to ask them not to impose something on me. I don't think I am being intolerant... quite the contrary, I think that you are being intolerant by insisting that my desire to be left alone is disrespectful of my housemate's desire to make me talk to her. How far do you take that line of reasoning? If a man wants to have sex with me and I don't want to have sex with him, am I being disrespectful if I say no? Is rape just an example of women's intolerance for men's desire for sex? |
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I could put my shooting muffs on. And put a gun in plain view on my desk. :lol: |
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:blah: :crazy:
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I like the squirt gun idea. when she yammers, squirt her. but don't laugh afterward, just go back to being quiet.
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I LIKE IT ROUGH AND DIRTY IN THE MORNING!
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