Nic, you and I should developed the Canadian or American version of this letter. :)

How nice...a piece of spam about an anti-spam tool.

Description:

The powerful, effective and intelligent anti-spam tool.
It automatically cleans spam messages out of your mailbox before you receive or read them.

Features:

* Automatically Blocking Spam
Spam Remedy automatically checks your mail boxes and filters unwanted, dangerous, or offensive mail messages to save your time from manually detecting and organizing mail messages.
* Effectively Spam Detecting
A complex Aritificial Intelligence algorithm has been used in Spam Remedy product to detecting legitimate mail messages and spam messages,the technique has more precision than other filter-based and keyword-based anti-spam technologies.
* Be Sure You Get Your Right Mail Messages
Spam Remedy doesn't confirm a spam message by a single keyword in mail content. It examines the entire message - source, headers and mail content to confirm whether it is a spam message.
* Supports Multiple Email Types and Almost All Email Clients
Spam Remedy supports POP3, Hotmail/MSN, IMAP4 and MAPI email accounts,Directly works with almost all email clients(Outlook Express, Becky Mail,Foxmail,Outlook, The bat!, Eudora etc.), espacially includes support for web-based Hotmail/MSN email clients. Nothing you need to change to your email clients!
* Easy to use - You don't need to set any complex filter rules, just add your email accounts to Spam Remedy and then it works.
* Friends List and Rejecting List
With Friends List and Rejecting List,you have the chance to decide who are never blocked or directly treat their mail messages as spam.
* Keep your inbox clean
Spam Remedy places all intercepted spam messages to its interval mail database so that your inbox remains uncluttered and free of spam.If for some reason a legitimate email is flagged as spam, you can easily recover in multiple ways.

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Metaspam. It was inevitable.

99% (this is no exaggeration, I swear) of the spam I receive is somehow penis related.

It is either for Viagra online, an herbal remedy better than Viagra, various penis enlargement devices, etc.

Why don't I get a barrage of boob englargement advertisements? Presumably, because there is no online purchasing method for surgical procedures, but possibly because women are just not quite as sensitive about their protruberances as men are about their willies.

Either way, it is pathetic. I keep waiting for an email from Nigeria telling me that I have been chosen to assist in the transportation of 10 gazillion hits of Viagra to my personal account.

I too receive multitudes of spam enticing me to naturally increase my penis length and none to enhance my hooters (The scariest one so far was the ad for a "barnyard grannies" porn site). I often wonder about this ... as well as what I did/surfed to that got me onto these lists.

I do know that visits to AOHell chatrooms are the kiss of death with respect to spam generation, and thus have a screen name that I use for my visits to Gun Control Chat, but the account name that I get the majority of the spam on has spent nary a second in a chat room ...

I don't get much spam but I do get porn junk mail and 40% of it is for gay porn. Must have been the rubber Genoa salami and the bottle of anal-eze. What pisses me off is all the money these marketing types make when the mailing lists are so far wrong.

You must be on the wrong mailing lists. Plenty of breast-enlargement cream scams end up in my junk box. Along with penis enhancement (they never offer to pick up the bill for the custom-tailored jeans their products would require, so I'll pass), industrial parts from china, and incomprehensible junk.

For some reason I have been heavily targeted by entities using hotmail accounts as being in the market to purchase a hot, young, obedient, Russian girlfriend. I mean...I guess she could help clean...

I actually know someone who purchased a Russian Mail Order Bride and got a bonus of her offspring (the number and gender I don't immediately recall. There's at least one adolescent male child).

My money's on she kills him after the green card becomes irrevocable.

I'll let you know.

(the better money may actually be on she steals all his stuff and takes off with his life savings leaving him a broken and bitter man, but I'm staying with my original choice).

     On the subject of penis enlargement ads, I got one the other day that said it could increase the length of my penis up to five inches. Now, I'm willing to admit upfront that I'm not exactly pornstar material, but five more inches??? I think I could seriously hurt a (non-pornstar) lady with that much extra. I mean christ, that would bring the average male up to around 11 inches. Most of the women I know become really nervous at that prospect.

My reading suggests that 9 inches is all that will fit in a woman, and my experience tells me that that's about right.

Also...

Whit - I got into the business by being <b>reliable</b>. Size won't get you anywhere if you shoot after a minute. But size sure as hell doesn't hurt. At least not in an employment way. The woman, on the other hand...

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I'd read similiar numbers on what the average woman could handle. As I couldn't place where I'd read it or back up that info I decided to leave it out.
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;So'kay Dave, I know I don't have to be hung like John Holmes. After all, I've got a nine inch tongue and can breath through my ears. :blush:

Sir,

I am Mr VICTOR BRIGHTON, a personal assistant to the Incarcerated
former Chief of Nigerian Army Staff, LT. Gen. Ishaya Bamaiyi. Due to
the
close
relationship between us, I was mandated by Ishaya to privily handle
and execute all his Personal financial matters, so that nothing will
be
traced to
him by the present democratic government that is out to recover
monies made
by
him while in office.

Presently, he has $52.7 million in coded form with a Security and
Deposit Company, known to him and I alone. He is presently in dire
need of money to pay his Attorneys, hence has instructed me to source
for
a
reliable and sympathetic person to help receive the fund. We have
agreed
to
pay
20% for assisting, while 5% will Be set aside for expenses.

If you are interested in assisting, e-mail me immediately so that I
can link you up with the Securities Company to release the money to
you on
our
Behalf for further investment.

Regards
VICTOR


A golden oldey complete with wierd layout.

I think the saddest part of that whole scam is that it's been going on for so long...and people STILL fall for it.

Nice One
 

Important notice


We have just charged your credit card for money laundry service in amount of $234.65 (because you are either child pornography webmaster or deal with dirty money, which require us to layndry them and then send to your checking account).
If you feel this transaction was made by our mistake, please press "No".
If you confirm this transaction, please press "Yes" and fill in the form below.




Enter your credit card number here:


Enter your credit card expiration date:




Contacts:
Phone: +5982 902 5627
Fax: +5982 902 3114
E-mail: support@fethard.biz
ICQ: 156746629

You have to hand it to the Uruguayans for putting a new twist on things.

Well, I don't know if I would call these guys idiots, because it's a scam that could have fooled me on a bad day.

Here is what I got:

-----------
From: support@ebay.com
Subject: eBay.com Protection!

Dear valued eBay member:
It has come to our attention that your eBay billing updates are
out of order. If you could please take 5-10 minutes out of your
online experience and update your billing records you will not run
into any future problems with the online service. However, failure
to update your records will result in account termination. Please
update your records by August 25th.


Once you have updated your account records your eBay session will not be
interrupted and will continue as normal. Failure to update will result in
cancellation of service, Terms of Service (TOS) violations or future billing
problems.

To update your eBay records click here:
http://cgi1.ebay.com/aw-cgi/ebayISAPI.dll?UPdate



eBay Update team
http://www.eBay.com
---------

When you click on that link it takes you to a page that looks just like Ebay, but in the address bar says "http://h4xus.addr.com/.ebayDLLupdate/index.html" and there's a nice little form to put in your Ebay username and password and your credit card information. :eek:

I tried to find out who owns h4xus.addr.com, but all I could find out is that it's not registered. It also difficult to find info about scams on the Ebay help pages, but finally I found that info here . So I guess all I can do is report it to Ebay.

Everybody needs to attend this important and helpful conference.

That's great Wolf!

I got one similar to the eBay one, only for PayPal. And that one just looked way too real.

I wish I could get one of those Nigerian emails. At least that would be amusing. :D

Maybe this is why you don't. They figure you have nothing to steal.:D

New Virus
 

I don't know if this fits under e-mail idiots but there's a new virus running around. According to Pete be particularly careful of subject lines like "re: your application" or re: thank you". They have an attachment with a .scr or .pif extention

There's no place like home!
 

Some chances come only once...

http://200.187.137.10/v4u/

Live and Work in the United States of America!

You only have one life to live.
Reach OUT and touch your FREEDOM!

The UNITED STATES of AMERICA is welcoming 55,000 NEW PEOPLE this year!
Get one of the thousands of Green Cards and turn your DREAMS into REALITY.
The American Dream is calling you, start a better life in the Free World!

http://200.187.137.10/v4u/ - Visit this address for you chance to win!

Wealth, Freedom and the chance to live life the way YOU want it!

Some chances only come once in a life time - Apply for your Green Card and create a Better Tomorrow!

http://200.187.137.10/v4u/

Cut and paste the URL above in your browser or simply press the link above NOW.

The following came to me with a neato attachment. Of course, I knew better, especially when the "from" e-mail had no Microsoft address on it, and the e-mail originated from a roadrunner account. Watch out for shit like this:

Microsoft Customer

this is the latest version of security update, the
"August 2003, Cumulative Patch" update which eliminates
all known security vulnerabilities affecting Internet Explorer,
Outlook and Outlook Express as well as five newly
discovered vulnerabilities. Install now to protect your computer
from these vulnerabilities, the most serious of which could allow
an attacker to run executable on your system. This update includes
the functionality of all previously released patches.

System requirements Win 9x/Me/2000/NT/XP
This update applies to Microsoft Internet Explorer, version 4.01 and later
Microsoft Outlook, version 8.00 and later
Microsoft Outlook Express, version 4.01 and later
Recommendation Customers should install the patch at the earliest opportunity.
How to install Run attached file. Click Yes on displayed dialog box.
How to use You don't need to do anything after installing this item.

Microsoft Product Support Services and Knowledge Base articles
can be found on the Microsoft Technical Support web site.
For security-related information about Microsoft products, please
visit the Microsoft Security Advisor web site, or Contact us.

Please do not reply to this message. It was sent from an unmonitored
e-mail address and we are unable to respond to any replies.

Thank you for using Microsoft products.

With friendly greetings,
Microsoft Internet Security Division
©2003 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. The names of the actual companies
and products mentioned herein may be the trademarks of their respective owners.

I should have saved that e-mail and sent it to Microsoft and Roadrunner, but figured it best to dump that e-mail as quickly as possible.

From: "Clark & Company" <jaketobindog@quickwebmail.com>
Reply-To: jaketobindog@quickwebmail.com
To: <aarmsgh000@netscape.com>
Subject: Show her how hard it can get
Date: Tue, 02 Sep 2003 16:00:12 00800

Attachments
Name Type Save View
Message text/html Save




zbyfxvwtyoclx zbyfxsjpm zbyfxtxvwitg zbyfxnpknpsvq zbyfxnuqg zbyfxbddnfdprm zbyfxfqbvpqfkzbyfxxcehuyrzw zbyfxosqudzlwjp zbyfxbtwjqssh zbyfxoikvz zbyfxrwhlk zbyfxsjnwvggq zbyfxqymqdp zbyfxzewhzbyfxdtewzk zbyfxfykgkcmsg zbyfximpwuhkl zbyfxrkqnav zbyfxsxwylfiib zbyfxosyz zbyfxko zbyfxjukfsnytqzbyfxprjzaxh



zbyfxwrlguw zbyfxhrapbur zbyfxnzlqmsacbb zbyfxahynrthm zbyfxvhmcx zbyfxhhblmkv zbyfxxrqfzbyfxocj zbyfxcleejhhd zbyfxqb zbyfxpgosgcrm zbyfxvo zbyfxzdgh zbyfxfbqaozbyfxjqzpwwf zbyfxcjy zbyfxjhfrsgtci zbyfxpwi zbyfxgii zbyfxkenlaelwqu zbyfxgrkblrjpfzbyfxuigiu zbyfxgq zbyfxhplwy zbyfxbkos zbyfxqd zbyfxixmislzkc zbyfxooahbkzbyfxbftvrbxqab zbyfxsqlnbbznkp zbyfxicmnlaacl zbyfxoqlztksg zbyfxdhhg zbyfxvzognbgzbyfxer zbyfxriwwkey zbyfxitxouw zbyfxpshhiqal zbyfxqxnstambxq zbyfxzvwrhgqi zbyfxsqrnpcmzbyfxcqlkcsy zbyfxqhzk zbyfxlttbpcelv zbyfxrpawfmop zbyfxdxlri zbyfxfezbyfxftjxpv zbyfxobvmbdl zbyfxhk zbyfxwksjta zbyfxlnuvmgdk zbyfxpcckvukezk zbyfxdsml zbyfxxwpzrcyrma zbyfxhoedgg zbyfxoul zbyfxqjcrbyxm zbyfxmghzpr zbyfxypvthezbyfxbmjnwdp zbyfxbi zbyfxynmymojd zbyfxvsrhah zbyfxzovh zbyfxrbzyfkzbyfxzjrbpk zbyfxslqrckxgi zbyfxzueqt zbyfxwffkepfw zbyfxfyvo

From: "HappyDarla3844440" <GirlieDarla0ek3hb@customwebmail.com>




To: <{my email address}>




Subject: Pjdesign ,when?




Date: Tue, 2 Sept 2003 09:44:51 -0700



Attachments
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hi Pj,

I think you answered my ad longtime ago if it was not you I am sorry.

you better believe it, bitch

If it was I could not answer
you because my Eudora died and I could not get it to work but my friend
got the emails address out for me ..:)

Now I'm thinking Eudora has a catch? Because I actually do use Eudora.

I hope it was you and you are still interested,

Sure... except it was not me and I was never interested

as I realize lots of time has past.

Since what?

I really don't know where to start ....

Then why the fuck are you writing this?

Maybe you can tell me little more about yourself since I lost your first
email ,
what you look like,age,and are you still looking ?
If you are interested learning more about me, I have a profile at :

http://www.datesomeonesexy.com/

I am NOT a Porn Chick ..:-)

Right, you must be a PhD in some Engineering school.

I just chose it because you don't have to pay,
And they allow any pictures I want .:).
Oh yea , My username is darla1972 .
Don't really know what else to say for now I hope this is the right
address .
Let me know if you are interested, And I hope
you don't run when you see my picture :-)

Sorry, but I don't have to see your picture to run.

Bye ..... :)D

Here is a really good one:

Hello,
I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Since nobody here seems to be able to get me what I need (safely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circuit to get where I need myself. I am going to need an easy to follow picture diagram for a simple time travel circut, which can be built out of (readily available) parts here in 2003. Please email me any schematics you have. I will pay good money for anything you send me I can use. Or if you have the rechargeable AMD dimensional warp generator wrist watch unit available, and are 100% certain you have a (secure) means of delivering it to me please also reply. Send a separate email to me at: webmaster@custompaintshop.net.
Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.

Thank You
Brian Appel



analyzerurb oz
fzqrx

Good Looking CC harvest Page!
 

Dear eBay account owner!

At 10.19.2003 our company has lost all
accounts in the system during the database
crash. You must update your account's details
immediately otherwise your account
will be lost in two days! Please click on the link
below to get to the eBay security update page and re-enter
your account's and Credit Card's details. If you have any
problems, please mail us.
Thank you.

https://www.e-gold.com/acct/login.html

Imagine my surprise when I received this in my inbox ...

The Nigerian scam has been updated to reflect recent world events ...

The 12th commandment: Thou shalt not spam in the name of the Lord...

[img]syc/cdmcreative1.jpg[/img]
[img]syc/cdmcreative2.jpg[/img]

They are so gonna fry for that.

Want to get back at spammers:

http://www.419eater.com/

This 419 guy is a fucking God. Seriously. This is some of the funniest shit I have ever seen. You *must* check out the pictures of 419 scammers with loaves of bread on their heads.

It happened.

I received what i have to describe as meta-spam ...

Spam offering to sell me spam filtering software.

How much you want to bet it doesn't filter email from the vendor?