Razz can wallop me if I'm wrong, but I have enough of my own to recognise them.

Ahahaha...no that's ok...alot of people think they're scratches at first...it *does* kind of embarass me...but mostly they're there because my body goes through that whole "becoming a woman" thing....all at once....like...I just wake up one day and my boobs are up a whole nother cupsize..and hips are the same way.

So yes, to be honest, I was sorta embarassed to post that but...I shouldn't be...it's just me. :)

*phew* steered clear of this one. I have zillions -and then some- ...pregnancy was not kind to me. i should be brave and post a pic.

but back to your original programming..... I'm voting over-zealous lover.

again peoples....NOT a sex injury :p

oh yeah that's the side of my hip too...I cropped it kind of wierd...sorry...so that explains the lack of bellybutton...

Razz - mine are from weight gain over the years, but I got my first in my teens when I was uber-fit and my skin was at its most elastic - the puberty fairy came overnight for me too.

Stretch marks, like cellulite, are simply part of being a woman and no-one should ever be ashamed that real life doesn't come with an airbrush.

Stretch marks are fairly genetic arent they?

Like some people are HUGE during pregnancy and dont get them, and others have relatively small increases in size are riddled with them.

I wonder if (like baldness) they come down through the other gender? My Mum has very few stretch marks despite 3 children. And yet I was marked simply by becoming a woman.

Just reminded me, did anyone else get, about 2 or 3 months ago, a wave of spam, advertising penis enlargement stuff, with the title "GET A VISIT FROM THE BIG DICK FAIRY"???
:lol:
I can think of several interpretations, and I'm not too keen on any of them. Some less so:

A (Timid) "But ... who are you?"
B (Gruff) "I'm the big dick fairy. Roll over!"

We all hate spam but at least they had a sense of humour about it.

Stretch marks are weird. I didn't get a single one from my pregnancy. BUT, I got my boobs pretty much overnight like Razz and Sundae--tons of stretch marks all over them.

OK, I reckon you were doing the tellytubby dance with a bony-ass tinky winky, razz.

ahahah..I'll just tell you all in super special invisible ink so you don't have to know if you don't want?

This was an allergic reaction to a very painful wasp sting...this photo taken 3 or 4 days *after* the initial sting....which hung around for another two weeks or so...owwie.

pokin


I knew it.

Thank you for telling me :)
I will put that on my list of Good Things That Happen Because of Me (and that is not sarcasm - I'm trying to be my own Clarence here)

I'll post one in my swimsuit next - frightens the horses less.

BTW - OWWWWW for the real reason.

Right forearm from 12/11/07 wreck. Have more, but no photos.

That's a hell of bruise, Buster... you gotta stop running into yourself.

This is from the IV they put in to sedate me while extracting my wisdom teeth (left inner elbow).

http://kbarger314.smugmug.com/photos/233117253-M.jpg

Not a very flattering pic of my leg (it's all muscle, honest), but here's the bruise -now about 24 hours old) that takes up at least 1/3 of my shin and proof indeed that if you want to be a soccer goalie, shin guards are a damn good idea..... that's gonna be a lovely green and purple combo by this time tomorrow....

(and yes, that is another bruise lower down. I saved several goals with that shin!)

Nice.

I'm bummed I forgot this thread after a less than satisfactory Red Cross blood drive experience.

That, reminded me of this:

Meet Big Dick Blacque:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzfRaQUHpXQ

I come back over a year later to say to Monster - ha!
That's not a bruise!

Last Tuesday (ie a week and a half ago) we had a pirate party at school.
Instead of What's the Time Mr Wolf?, we played What's the Time Mr Shark?. Out on the school field, divoted and pock-marked as it is. Now I'm an enthusiastic volunteer, and was an extremely active child/ teen. I forget I am morbidly obese and if I run full pelt to catch the children I also run the risk of coming down with all the weight of responsibility behind me.

As happened. I tripped, and came down on one knee and shin and the other shoulder. Luckily I didn't reach terminal velocity, and was wearing jogging bottoms for the precise reason that I knew it would be an active day.

The best of the bruising didn't really come up for the best part of a week.
It's still painful to kneel on my left knee - something I realised today when Diz (the cheeky shit) nipped into the 'rents' room for a kip under their bed. He's not allowed in there full-stop, because he's such a bully. The fact he had to be dragged out by his scruff, with me moaning OW OW OW suggests he was planning a pointy surprise for Mia sometime tonight.

So enough talk, here we are. Included both legs to emphasise the colouring. I'm pretty pale - this is not a healthy tan. Oh and yes - I am hairy. I have no desire to touch the swollen and bruised leg, even with a razor, if I can cover it up in the mean time. Luckily my invite to the Large Women's MiniSkirt Ball has not yet arrived.

Ouch!

Holy hell, Sundae! You got the whole length of the shin there, that's pretty impressive.

Damn fine bruise ya got there - Proud of ya!

Gosh SG you sure blew Monnnie away! Yeouch! :eek:

Fun fact: if you scroll up so that only the bottom inch-and-a-half or so of Sundae's photo is showing at the top of your browser window, it looks distinctly like a man's bruised ass. This came to light because my stepdaughter walked around the corner and said, "Is that a picture of a butt?"

Ohh, forgot about this thread....

Thats really impressive Sundae!!

Yes, thats the underside of my boob...its the only thing that stopped the ski taking off my head :)

and when I get dared to take on the half pipe first time on the snowboard for the season....

Wow, SG -mine did eventually turn all those colors and more, but the size of yours is truly outstanding. Bruise.

It was a bit of a cheat to wait til the bruising came up so well, I admit. And I bruise so easily anyway.

Ducks! Blimey.
Thems some deep bruises. I don't even want to think about the under-boob one in relation to underwired bras!

Mum comes out tops with her bruised leg.
I do feel for her - but she has been extremely pissy because of it.

She blames Grandad because he summoned them round there at 08.00 for something that could have waited. This "put them all behind" (the 'rents have a hectic schedule of cleaning and shopping now they are retired). Then Dad had to go and get takeaway for Gdad, because he didn't want to go to daycare after all the hoo-ha (it was a broken lamp). Then the snow starts to fall. And Aylesbury gets gridlocked. So it takes Dad an hour to come back with a cold burger and fries.

Mum and Dad give up going into town for their own little treat at this point, and decide to check out the refurbishment to the estate pub - the Dairy Maid.
Walking down there, Mum slips over. Refuses to let Dad help her up as he has a bad back. Is evenutally helped by a white van man, comes home and lies on the sofa. At which point I come home from school, full of festive cheer, only to receive a bitter tirade against Grandad who is accounted solely responsible.

Hmmmm. I remember when I went over on my birthday year before last, because a woman in front of me stopped suddenly and my ankle turned on a cracked pavement. Mum promptly told her that it wasn't her fault, it was mine for wearing silly shoes.

So funnily enough, I've offered sympathy, but not condoned the bitching and self-pity. Especially since I caught her telling my brother's MOTHER-IN-LAW (a woman she has no respect for) on the phone that no-one else in this house knew how to clean a bathroom apparently. I cleaned the stupid bathroom (which was spotless anyway) but I did make it obvious I'd heard her. No word about everything else I've done - some at her request and some at my own instigation...

All that aside (getting it off my chest), here is the bruise pic. She's got dolly lallies for a 64 year old! And yes, I do feel like a mean witch of a daughter when I look at it.

YIKES! :eek:

Old people bruise easier, right? Because their veins are thinner and break more easily under the surface? That's the theory I'm going with. Because goddamn.

I get my bruising ability from her :)

M-M-M. That looks like it hurts.

Doesn't it kind of suck a huge donkey dick when the folks' world turns on such lilliputian-like events of a broken lamp or cold hamburger? Mine are very much the same. I feel for your situation, SG, but if I know you, you are making the BEST of it and being a good example to them as well. My own mother LOVES to bring out her PAM personality (Piss And Moan) but I prefer to be happy - even if I have to delude myself to that end.

Looks pretty bad SG. Is she on daily asprin or some blood thinner?

Nope. Not as far as I know anyway.
She used to take daily aspirin but then worried it wasn't the right thing to do.
Her Mum was a real bleeder too. Nan once told me she was borderline haemophiliac. Which I parroted to many people before realising haemophilia is a disease and you can't be "borderline"...!

Nan did bruise and bleed spectacularly, as do I. Mum is far more careful, but it turns out she can bruise to buggery too.

Not that it important at this time, but you may want to get your blood tested. A simple tube of blood sent to the lab could allow you to discover a different kind of clotting disorder. There are quite a few of them and it might be nice to know if you ever needed an emergency surgery or had a massive blood loss.

Merc, I missed that.
Sadly, one of the drawbacks of free healthcare is that you don't get to choose what you are teasted for.
But the flip side is that in the event of a problem, any affects will be dealt with free of charge.
I don't think I have anything really damaging. Just that I bruise like a pear.

Today I had my previous contraceptive implant removed, and a new one fitted.
They had to manhandle me a little as the implant has settled into "an envelope". Of my body, retch, retch. I didn't tell them til halfway through that I was extremely squeamish. I am, I really am, but the timing was slightly disingenuous move. If I tell them at the start they think, "Silly cow, we do this every day!" if I tell them at the end they've already judged me for sweating and swallowing and making faces. Halfway through they applaud me for my bravery and say how well I'm doing and it does relax me.

Trust me, this is a technique honed when giving blood, so at least it was perfected in times of charity. And this is my third and most difficult implant so far. I was butchered! Well, okay, not really. But they did worry about how tidy they were being.

9 hours later, expect more pics:

That looks like it was painful. :3_eyes:

freakin; ouch!!! boy am i glad i don;t bruise easily or i;d be black and blue all the time all over!!

On the bright side, they did give you a nice profile of a llama or a horsie or something.

Look close at that bandage! Is that the profile of the Virgin Mary?? I mean really look close and turn the image to the side. Surely, I'm not the only one to notice

Actually it didn't turn out too bad.
I've had far worse bruising without any benefits.
Sarge - no, you're looking at my profile. This is just a picture of my arm.

If the Virgin Mary is a unicorn then, yes.

ouch. they weren't very gentle with you.

I don't bruise easily, they almost never show. Not a he-man, just, I don't know. Not many bruises. I have *no idea* who hit me with a bat on my leg this week, but it hurt like hell, which was a surprise because it was invisible. Now it feels a lot better, but it looks like hell.

@grynch: boxer briefs. you're welcome.

Nice boxer briefs!
And the colour sets off the bruising nicely too.

It looks like it must have been painful...

:tips cap:



ma'am

Fell over in the shower the other day.
Not a euphemism.

We have an enamel bath with the shower above it, and usually use a rubber bath mat inside the bath to prevent slipping. I haven't been using it recently because although the bath can be scrubbed (and yes, I do), the small amount of pink dye secreted when I wash my hair, even after a month, stains the mat. And I know it drives Dad crazy.

It just happened that I was a little dazed and confused at that point, and was only showering that evening because Mum thought we might have an emergency call to say good bye to Grandad.

My slip was on exiting the bath. My foot genuinely slipped, but I wonder if on another occasion I might have saved myself better.

I fell completely out of the bath, banged my head and wrenched my neck. Conveniently, Mum attributed this to Dad and said I must never shower without a mat in future. She's right in that the initial slip was because I wasn't using a mat. But I still felt a bit mean anyway.

So here is my (still developing) bruise. Doesn't hurt anywhere near as the head bruise, which kicks in whenever I change facial expression, or the neck and shoulder pain which make it hard to sleep.
But it's the only visual one. And quite impressive I think.
It actually continues down my arm, past my elbow, but almost impossible to get that shot myself.

fucking ouch.

a head injury is more serious... you're ok?

Days ago - I survived.
I wonder that I did give it a real bash though...

Poooor poor baby. I hope you didn't seriously injure anything. I hope the pain goes away soon.

oh shit sundae!

Poor babe. That looks so rough

Damn girl.:3_eyes:

Sorry about your pain, Sundae. But as someone who loves bruises, I have to say: it's fantastic!

I see a scotty dog in your bruise!

I see a shark.....

Are you in less pain, Sundae?