Any news? Did you get to see the surgeon? Thinking of you...

Thanks for the suggestions everyone! My husband is going to check on the healthcare plan his work has been offering, but not actually giving out.
He's promised me that he would at least follow-up and ask about what happened to it today. He's fighting going to the doctor. He was trying to get out of it by saying that it is "just a swollen lymphnode". As you can probably imagine....that did not work.
I worry too much I guess. When it was smaller it felt like it was coming off the lymphnode rather than the lymphnode itself.....now it's gotten so large that I can't even feel the lymphnode anymore. The lymphnode itself actually felt normal....I hope I am wrong. Sometimes it's ok to be dead wrong. In this case being dead wrong would be awesome.
Well whatever it is.....I'm sure we can manage. I can't afford to let fear take over my last brain cells.

And of course Bri you can pm me anytime. And if you really need to talk to someone I'm here usually at odd times between 9:00 MST and 5:00, and often. Even on Saturdays.

Bri, any word? What's going on?
Please drop us a line if you can.

Yeah, I'm gettin' kinda queasy, here, waiting for the plan and prognosis, girl.

She may have gone almost immediately into surgery after seeing the doctor on Tuesday. When they want to, they can move very fast. We're thinking about you, Bri.

Bri last spotted in the Meaningless Drunk thread being kidnapped by her family.

bloody herll monster

i thought your post meaant she had poster

friggen teatse

i'm so sorry guys--not to worry, they did kidnap me to cape cod---I see the surgeon on the 17th. Until then, I'm livin' it up. I will be back on the 15th. More then, as our wifi in the codo isn't working :(

I love you guys!

Still sending my love and healing energy.

me too.

Ohhh, look at my drunk typing. bwaahahahahah

Bri - live it up you should honey.

Shit. This is crazy. Good luck, Bri. I know you can beat it.

Bri, I'm back and I'm thinking of you.

I was devastated when Dana told me - you are so full of life and hope and humour it seemed obscene that part of you was putting your life at risk. But I know that cancer is a disease, not a stalker looking to bring down the best and bravest - it just seems that way sometimes.

You have made me laugh, and cry (with laughter mostly) and given me hope when things have seemed really grim You've been generous with your honesty, your praise and your support and I value that hugely. I love and respect you for what you have faced in your life so far, and what you you will face in the future.

You are certainly worth more than any bunch of cells, especially malfunctioning ones and I believe whatever happens you will deal with it (even when you feel you're not dealing with it) with total style.

Anyway, we've got about 5 book ideas we're going to work on one day, don't think I'll let you off the hook that easily, okay?

All my love, good thoughts, care and concern to you. You've touched my life and no doubt many others and if I can repay that in any way just say the word.

Everyone's acting like my husband is dead already. We don't even have a proper diagnosis, and his co-workers want him to go lie down. I even started to act like he is going to die and had to stop myself. Isn't it sad that I would have one of his feet in the grave already just to be sure about something instead of dealing with not knowing? Well- I stopped the dramatics about 6 hours into it. I'm glad for it.
Hopefully others will come to terms with it....so he doesn't feel like he has to die because everyone else is sure already. This is stupid. Maybe it is cancer. Maybe he's not going to die. Even he's acting like someone that cares about how he will be remembered now. How did we get here already? After one doctor visit?

This is why I was afraid other people would get involved for such a long time.

I think, even though medical wise we’ve come along way in treatments, that the word cancer is seen as almost un-beatable. It, in itself is almost an automatic death sentence. There are just so many types – it’s hard to comprehend that it can be beaten.

Hope it went well today, Bri

Me too.

Drop in and let us know how it went Bri.

Don't be too hard on yourself Cic. A part of the human mind is always scanning for danger, for things that might threaten us, or destabilise us. Looking for and internally rehearsing how we'll respond. It's just a survival of that danger sense, when we try to 'pre-cope' with things we fear may occur.

Cancer is now more survivable than it ever has been. Bri, being Bri, will kick cancer's ass and send it packing. Hell, she'll probably keep five or six of us cancer free in the process.

The thing with the surgeon was fine but got kinda sucky news: seems like I have not one but two different kinds of cancer in this here breast which means, and I quote the surgeon, "it's a bad breast," which makes me feel sorry for it as it didn't start out in life bad but became bad thru a series of unfortunate choices and failed love affairs. Anyway, if it is confirmed to be two different types, the only safe choice is mastectomy. I have a feeling this is going to cut way, waaaaaay into my sex life. Damn it!

You have all been so beautiful to me, I so appreciate and cherish your good wishes. sometimes, you all leave me speechless with gratitude.

This early am I was looking for something to give you encouragement. I know you will be ok but I was looking for some silly GIF or Poem but the only one that didn't seem cheesy was Dr. Suess. :P

Poems sometimes do set the worries free and I hope you can find comfort in the some of the poetry from the site I found. ( or any )The way that it is organized with the tabs at the top makes it really user friendly. I hope you find something you like.
http://www.writespirit.net/spiritual_poets
You are so cared about!

Bri,
Let me add ditto to the rest of the dwellars who have spoken my feelings more eloquently than I can I just had a tumor removed yesterday, results in a week or two. I had two tumors removed in June that were cancerous, so I suspect this was a remnant. No where near as serious as yours, because I've been having these things on and off since the 80's. Not fun to deal with, but I still have a happy life, and manage to keep a sick sense of humor despite all health problems. I think God put your post in front of me just today to keep me from whining about my condition.
I agree with the post about putting you on a pedestal(and looking up your dress,) I've been a Dwellar for several months, and have read a bunch of your stuff. I'll be praying for you, so hang tough, there are too many success stories out there to prove you can be a bigger success.

So sorry to hear the news. Now you have to make your own documentary called When Good Breasts Go Bad.

In fact that's a wonderful idea - you should contact TV companies to see if any are interested in documenting your experience and become a star worldwide, appearing on Oprah and taking five star trips to speak at women's conferences in London, Paris and Tokyo. There, now that's sorted please do keep us up to date. My Mum and her friend Breda are praying and lighting candles for you.

Oh Bri- how shitty..That's just crap.....hey if you ever want to we can pm each other back and forth with just curse words like virtual tourettes syndrome.
Well- maybe I'll just do it by myself....seems to make me feel better.

Bullshit! Bullshit!

That'd be a great way of using gabbly chat....

Bri, that's some shitty news. You'll still be you without the Bad Breast (BB) though and will continue to outsexy the rest of us mortal Cellarinas, of that I have no doubt. :)

lol you funny :)

hehe @ virtual tourettes

Bri,

You are much more than your boobs and if that's what it takes to stay alive then do it.

By way of venting your anger, you may want this t-shirt from cafepress.com:

That shirt is great! It's so Bri.

Bri, how are you doing, haven't seen you in a couple days?

I am ok, thanks.

actually, I've been drinking since i got back. today my pal came over and gave me a perc and an oxy. I took both of them and I am going to go gety some more smirnoff before class.

I'm really kinda tired. I don't know what to do.

You won't be driving will you? Will you make it to class? Please be careful!

well, you better start planning a wonderful tattoo for that mast. scar!

Only if you let it. I thought that I'd never get laid again when my wife left me, an ostomate, to try and reignite that part of my world when we separated. I mean, a round belly with a plastic bag full of shit taped to it? Please.

Well, *never* once has it posed any sort of a problem in my sex life (other than being in the way if I don't keep my undies on). By the time anyone decides they'd like to do me, the're gonna do me because, well, I'm *me*. And you, Bri are *you*. Anyone interested in bedding you will not have made that decision based on the assumption that you've got two tits. They will have become inflamed by your wit, you intelligence, and your many other beautiful features and qualities, and will still wish to make with the old in-out, in-out even when you tell them that the old Arabian titty fuck might be slightly more challenging.

Anyone worth fucking is going to care very little about such a modification. If you don't believe me, then, as soon as you're healed up and feeling randy, give me a call and I'll come out there and prove it. :D

stop taking pills and drinking. then...get better. butt head.

What he said. Grieve briefly, then start the healing. Preferably, start the healing before you even have a surgery.

The lads are giving you good advice there Bri. The pills might help get you through a few hours, but they aren't the way to beat this.

And...seriously, if you think a Mastectomy is going to cut into your sex-live you haven't fully realised how beautiful you are. I've seen your pics and you could be as flat as pancake both sides and still outsexy the rest of the Cellar.

Yea...that's in the no shit category Dana....but still....it did need to be pointed out!

:)

In fact, I'm going to the women I would screw thread right now.....you don't even have to be gay to think Bri's hot.

Bri, I'm very sad that you have this bitch of a thing to deal with.

But you are a strong, intelligent, compassionate woman, and I *know* that once you decide to deal with this and get that shit out of your body, you will do so completely and emerge with grace and dignity intact.

As far as losing the boob, I agree with Patrick 100%, any man worth anything won't care. It's a piece of fat hanging off your chest. But insurance will generally pay for an implant if you wanna go that route.

Sending my love and positive vibes to you.

So, Bri,
any decision on the course of treatment? Was the tentative diagnosis correct? Is the other boob completely clear? When will the surgery be? Any sign of metastasis? Any more tests to be done? chemo? Rad therapy? Wishing you all the best -want me to mail home cooked meals? I've heard fried eggs fit nicely into those little bubble mailers.

Saw the oncologist today (waited a damn hour before he came into the room!) and he said there's no Her-2 receptors on it so that is good. he said they're gonna put me in a national trial--have chemo for five months (FIVE) to shrink tumor (is 8cmX6cm so is humongous) THEN surgery and if I get one of three of the six clinical trial arms MORE chemo---seven months more. Then he said something about radiation but i think that's only if I don't pull one of the three arms of treatment that demands a year of chemo. Does this make sense? it's like this: I am in a trial and there are six possible ways it could go depending on the random choice of the trial. Three of the six possible trials require a year of chemo--five months before surgery and seven after. I may not get on that trial and then would have five months of chemo, surgery and then radiation. At any rate, they want to shrink this bad boy before they cut.

TOmorrow I get a PET scan and if it shows mets, a whole NEW plan will be put in place with NO surgery, just chemo. This week I've got scheduled a PET with a diagnostic CT, an EKG, and echocardiogram, an MRI. On Oct 1 I get my port put in. The ball is rolling.

Oh, and could I have hard boiled eggs in the mail instead of fried? :)

I have a question: why is he enrolling you in a trial? What is the standard accepted practice for this sub-type of cancer? What stage is the trial (2nd, 3rd)?

What are your other options?

After being involved in a cancer patient's therapy decisions for six years, I have more than a little skepticism of things one's oncologist just enrolls you in, without further information. What is his "tie" to the trial? Is he a sponsor, or affiliated with the trial in any way? Does he get paid for every patient he refers?

Is the trial really good news for you? Will it make a measurable difference in your outcome statistics, QoL or longterm survival? Will your insurance cover side-effects or other issues if you have to withdraw from the trial mid-stream?

Please look up your trial here, and get some answers if you can.

So very many questions. Best wishes to you.

Thanks for all the food for thought, Pie.

here's what I know: It's called NSABP B-40, a randomized Phase III Trial of Neoadjuvant Therapy in Patients with Palpable and Operable Breast Cancer Evaluating the Effect on Pathologic Complete Response (pCR) of Adding Capecitabine or Gemcitabine to Docetaxel when Administered Before AC with or without Bevacizumab and Correlative Science Studies Attempting to Identify Predictors of High Likelihood for pCR with Each of the Regimens. (whew!)

The study is being conducted by the National Surgical Adjuvant Breast and Bowel Project (NSABP)

The purpose is to see how breast CA's like mine respond to several different chemo combos---I will be getting the national standard for chemo treatment WITH an addition of one of five possible other meds to see if these added meds (one is capecitabine, the other is gemcitabine and three others are combos with a drug that keeps the tumor from making new blood vessels [this is the year-long chemo option]) are BETTER than the standard--which I will be getting. I will either get the straight standard treatment or standard treatment with these other meds added. Most sig. side effect of these other meds: diarrhea, red palms, red soles (of my feet). No increase in nausea, vomiting, leukopenia, etc. The added meds are meds that are used to treat breast ca that is either more aggressive than mine OR in stage IV. I'm in stage three. My tumor is also palpable which makes me eligible. There are two women in the study ahead of me who, after three cycles of chemo (of a total of 8 cycles) who can no longer palp their mass--it has shrunk that much.

The doc didn't just enroll me in it, we talked for about 1/2 hour and then I met the nurse practitioner who helps trial people thru with appointments, etc. she gave me 18 pages of info on the trial to read and then make my decision about it. 1200 women will take part in this study. My surgeon, as well as my onc., are on the tumor board. This is something in conjunction with the Bethesda Maryland National Cancer Institute.

are you sorry you asked? :)

because I am in the study, I will be followed very closely, get some of the drugs for free, etc.

Oh, yeah, the meds and treatments assoc. with the trial will be free. Because of this, I will be getting more echocardiograms, more blood and urine tests, and ore biopsies than if I didn't do the trial.

I heard about this on NPR today .
It sounded promising !!


Good luck

Sounds good given the circs. Good Luck with it all -when do you start?

I could maybe put the boiled eggs inside tennis balls and hit them in your direction? Maybe use beest's compressed air nerf cannon to launch them?

oh my gosh! That is sooo cool! Maybe I can hear it on NPR's website tonight! thanks for the heads up!! :)

Thanks, zippyt.

Oh, just for you , zip

:ggw:

Monster--I will prolly start this week if my PET scan tomorrow is neg for metz. If there is metz, the deal is off.

No, not this week, coz my port won't be put in until Monday. I would imagine next week after port implantation. sheesh, there is so much stuff to think of and do...kinda overwhelming.

Rooting for you, flower. Seriously, let us know if there's any practical help we dwellars can provide. You know we're already here for the other stuff :D

Wait a sec... "National... Breast and Bowel Project"?

I'm real sorry babe, but, isn't that a porn site?
Ask Els, I'm sure he'd know...

I like breasts, have only half the normal amount of bowel, and must have missed that web site.

Bri, this sounds really exciting and promising. Just remember that no matter what trial you are in, *you* are the single most critical ingredient to success. Now is the time to start doing some meditation coupled with visualization. Get into your zone, and start visualizing that fucker shrinking, cringing before the onslaught of your will and the meds coursing through your blood stream. Visualize it dissolving, melting, vanishing. Do this upon rising and again upon retiring. Program your body to manifest your will.

Faith is not the belief in something that you cannot see. Faith is the belief that *you* control your reality, your body...your piece of the universe.

Now go kick that motherfucker's cancerous ass.

Not in the slightest. I am relieved, because you know what you are getting into! :thumb:
I'm sorry if I sounded like I was second-guessing you. Go get 'em!

PS: one last question (!) -- does this mean that you have decided against surgery for now? The tumour is "operable" but it looks like chemo-only in the trial. Interesting.

I didn't read the trial details (I will, but later), but the gist i understood was that the trials is about which shrink it better? Beiung part of the trial doesn't rule out surgery once it's shrunk -am I mistaken? My only experience is talking to sufferers -I'm no medic-, but I understood that if surgery can be delayed while the tumors are shrunk, then the chances are that the surgery will be less serious and is more likely to be successful?

Right, monster.

This trial is about what best shrinks the tumor so that a lumpectomy can be performed instead of a mastectomy. They want to save as much breast tissue as they can to make reconstruction either minimal or completely avoidable. If I had a lumpectomy now, half my breast would be gone; a mastectomy would require a total reconstruct. By shrinking and THEN doing what little reconstruction is needed, I imagine all sorts of insurance money is saved (see? I'm not completely naive ;)
Surgery is in my future--they just want to deal with a smaller demon.
I appreciate everyone's input, etc. There is so much for me to think about and decide I need this kind of dialog--don't feel bad at all, Pie. I am glad you asked those questions--I hadn't thought of the points you brought up and it made me do some research!

Thinking of you chicken.

I am glad you have people like Pie and Monster asking and probing.....I will just be here sending well wishes and FUCK OFF CANCER thoughts your way.

What ducks said!

What Dana affirmed about what Ducks said. Other people knowing what to say helps me to get information I otherwise wouldn't have known because I don't know enough to know what questions to ask (huh? what kind of sentence was that?)

Thinking of you, Bri! :)

Did I already tell you guys this? My PET and CT and MRI all came back negative. Yessss!

I get the port put in thursday and start chemo oct. 8th---I just don't know what arm of the trial I'll be in. I'll find that out on the 8th I guess. NO METZ! That's some damn fine news. Thanks for all the good wishes and vibes, ya'll.

AWESOME.

You are the ass-kickingest ass-kicker I know. Keep bashing that sucker's face in.

I can't tell you how happy this makes me for you and yours!
You FULLY deserve this!
YAYYYYY!!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...mbs/hammer.gif

Excellent Bri! That's fantastic news!

Fan-Dabby-DOZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!:thumb: :thumb2:

Limey I think it's actually now a criminal offence to reference the Krankies.