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-   Nothingland (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=36)
-   -   Tell us a secret. (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=14280)

Sundae 06-04-2007 10:58 AM
I had really bad wind today after overdosing on jalapenos yesterday. Seriously, it was like I was chanelling Dizzy Gillespie via my butt - and it was as smelly as it was loud.

I was only working with one person today, but it was my male boss and I didn't feel comfortable letting rip in front of him. It got to the point where I'd been holding them in so long my eyes were bulging. So when he left to go over to the warehouse I sighed with relief, walked to the front of the shop (I wasn't going to sit in my own stink!) and set my noxious children free. Only for the boss to walk in a couple of seconds later, to pick up the box he'd left at the front of the store whwile he unlocked the car.

I just hope he thought the smell had drifted in from outside.

BigV 06-04-2007 12:45 PM
must... fight... mental image... of extending SG's... Dizzy Gillespie's analogy... errrGGHHH.... ballooning cheeks...

AAARRRGGH! Too late. bwahahahahahahhahaha!

wolf 06-06-2007 01:45 PM
Not much of a secret, but ...

Sometimes I get to do stuff that is so extraordinarily cool, but then I can't talk about it to anyone. Not CIA/MI-6 kind of cool, but pretty cool for normal-ish people cool.

jester 06-06-2007 01:51 PM
sometimes i wish i lived alone

BigV 06-06-2007 01:52 PM
she said "tell us a secret" not "tell us a secret exists". spill it!

Cloud 06-06-2007 02:10 PM
sounds like a lot of fun, Elspode.

Secret? Um . . .

I like cats better than people.

jester 06-06-2007 02:13 PM
i am surrounded by cow turds, oh wait......... i guess that's only a secret to those who are in fact "cow turds";)

glatt 06-06-2007 03:21 PM
Hillary Clinton is having a fund raiser in the parking lot across the street from my building in an hour. They have been doing sound checks for the last few hours, which disturbed an interview I was just doing. But I did get to see Katharine McPhee doing a sound check on my lunch break. I had to Google her to see who she was.

Shawnee123 06-06-2007 03:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt (Post 351411)
did get to see Katharine McPhee doing a sound check on my lunch break. I had to Google her to see who she was.
That chick from Fleetwood Mac?

(jk)

jester 06-06-2007 03:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123 (Post 351413)
That chick from Fleetwood Mac?

(jk)
not steppin in front of anyone but that's

christine mcvie

Shawnee123 06-06-2007 03:34 PM
jk= just kidding. ;)

(I love Christine McVie!)

BigV 06-06-2007 03:41 PM
(open) Secret:

Once was on a Caribbean cruise on the same ship as Christine McVie. somewhere there's a picture of a very random looking door, behind which was her stateroom.

Flint 06-06-2007 03:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV (Post 351426)
(open) Secret:
Open Secrets lyrics (Rush)

I find no absolution
In my rational point of view
Maybe some things are instinctive
But there's one thing you could do

You could try to understand me
I could try to understand you

You could try to understand me
I could try to understand you

jester 06-06-2007 03:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123 (Post 351422)
jk= just kidding. ;)

(I love Christine McVie!)
sorry:blush:

glatt 06-07-2007 09:17 AM
So I'm walking past the Hillary fund raiser on the way to my metro station, and it's crowded on the sidewalk. There's this guy kinda blocking foot traffic as he holds a huge and pretty unflattering picture of Clinton. He shouts in his deep, ominous voice to all the arrivals to the event: "If you elect Hillary there will be HELL TO PAY!.... HELL TO PAY!!!!" A couple blocks later, I heard a guy talking on his cellphone and he says "there will be hell to pay" to the person on the other end.

Weird. I never hear that phrase, and suddenly it's everywhere.

Shawnee123 06-07-2007 09:18 AM
Maybe they're talking about a new punk wig: A Hell Toupee

Flint 06-07-2007 09:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt (Post 351665)
Weird. I never hear that phrase, and suddenly it's everywhere.
So I guess you didn't understand the title "Hell Toupee" on the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror?

Shawnee123 06-07-2007 09:21 AM
Who, me? Uh, yeah...

Made me think of an old pun, out of a dictionary of puns my mom got for me: Whoever has bills to pay, give it back, Bill needs it.

Ta duh duh

BigV 06-07-2007 09:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV (Post 351426)
(open) Secret:

Once was on a Caribbean cruise on the same ship as Christine McVie. somewhere there's a picture of a very random looking door, behind which was her stateroom.
I made a mistake. It was not Christine McVie, it was Stevie Nicks. Everytime we saw her on board, she was wearing those ridiculous gigantic dark sunglasses. I don't understand trying to hide behind something that screams "LOOK AT ME".

Rexmons 06-07-2007 09:34 AM
if she didnt want to be recognzied maybe she should have went on a young singles cruise wearing a t-shirt that said "I am Stevie Nicks"

skysidhe 06-07-2007 01:08 PM
I really think the only things that give back in life are good sex and a college education.

Shawnee123 06-07-2007 01:25 PM
Sigh. One out of two ain't bad. ;)

wolf 06-07-2007 01:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV (Post 351367)
she said "tell us a secret" not "tell us a secret exists". spill it!
If something is on Fox, CNN, and the AP Wire, does that make it a secret?

Iggy 06-07-2007 01:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspode (Post 348372)
Words don't do it justice, and I didn't take pics. Let's just summarize by saying that I feel considerably better about this insane lifestyle than I did awhile back. I will tell you this much: at one point around my campfire Sunday night, there were three bought and paid for male slaves who were gifted to my wife, all of them Army or recently discharged, the oldest of which was 25, competing to see who could fling glowstick bracelets into the fire using only their peni. This caused some considerable level of excitement to the already overstimulated ladies present. I benefitted in the end. Well, and before all that. And even before *that*.

Strangely, although it was probably a bit much to the average American, it was really not at all out of line. These guys didn't push any of the ladies to do anything they didn't want, they were obedient to the commands issued by Selene (she sort of stage directed things, which helped to keep it on the edge, but not over the edge), and they were, in general, fine examples of young American males having a good time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by case (Post 348385)
I really must get myself to that Pagan festival next year.

I must as well... that sounds like great big heaps of fun. ;)

I really should check out nothingland more often...

My secret is if I am given half a chance, I will read one romance novel a day. And reading them really turns me on. :blush:

Rexmons 06-07-2007 01:37 PM
heres another:

the only reason i bought a ruler, is because i use it as a backscratcher.

HungLikeJesus 06-07-2007 02:17 PM
+ My name is not really HungLikeJesus or HLJ

Shawnee123 06-07-2007 02:20 PM
I have a secret I am keeping in the Cellar vault. God help me if any of you know the combination.

Flint 06-07-2007 02:21 PM
ABC123?

Shawnee123 06-07-2007 02:24 PM
No Tito, that's not it.

skysidhe 06-08-2007 01:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspode (Post 348372)
Words don't do it justice, and I didn't take pics. Let's just summarize by saying that I feel considerably better about this insane lifestyle than I did awhile back. I will tell you this much: at one point around my campfire Sunday night, there were three bought and paid for male slaves who were gifted to my wife, all of them Army or recently discharged, the oldest of which was 25, competing to see who could fling glowstick bracelets into the fire using only their peni. This caused some considerable level of excitement to the already overstimulated ladies present. I benefitted in the end. Well, and before all that. And even before *that*.

Strangely, although it was probably a bit much to the average American, it was really not at all out of line. These guys didn't push any of the ladies to do anything they didn't want, they were obedient to the commands issued by Selene (she sort of stage directed things, which helped to keep it on the edge, but not over the edge), and they were, in general, fine examples of young American males having a good time.

.....and?

It was just getting interesting.

skysidhe 06-08-2007 02:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf (Post 351362)
Not much of a secret, but ...

Sometimes I get to do stuff that is so extraordinarily cool, but then I can't talk about it to anyone. Not CIA/MI-6 kind of cool, but pretty cool for normal-ish people cool.
oh come on! don't be a tease!

dixy 06-08-2007 10:18 AM
I am a bisexual christian girl.

dixy 06-08-2007 10:19 AM
An old friend messaged me and we are soon going to make some lunch plans!

skysidhe 06-08-2007 10:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dixy (Post 352296)
I am a bisexual christian girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dixy (Post 352298)
An old friend messaged me and we are soon going to make some lunch plans!

You talk just like my ex boyfriend. He too is a bisexual christain girl.

oh and make sure your lunch date has money so you don't have to pay or just buy the entree`

kerosene 06-14-2007 12:21 AM
Has anyone noticed the recent ubiquity of those gi-normous sunglasses?

Beestie 06-14-2007 12:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf (Post 351362)
Not much of a secret, but ...

Sometimes I get to do stuff that is so extraordinarily cool, but then I can't talk about it to anyone. Not CIA/MI-6 kind of cool, but pretty cool for normal-ish people cool.
You're right - that's not much of a secret. The only thing worse than keeping a secret is telling everybody that you're keeping a secret.

Now login using one of the collective handles and commence spilling the beans. We'll pretend we don't know its you.:cool:

BigV 06-14-2007 10:49 AM
Riiiiiight.... That'll happen.

She still stinging from failing to secure the laptop before taking a smoke break.

Hey! She could use *that* guy's handle!

Beestie 06-14-2007 11:58 AM
Dang, you got a looooooooooooooooong memory.

Note to self: When telling a fib to BigV, write it down somewhere for future ref.

BigV 06-14-2007 01:43 PM
What?

Are you kidding me? That was one of the **funniest** posts/threads in cellar history! Jay-sus! I put it in the HoF for a reason!


Note to Beestie: Good idea.

wolf 06-15-2007 12:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beestie (Post 354869)
You're right - that's not much of a secret. The only thing worse than keeping a secret is telling everybody that you're keeping a secret.

Now login using one of the collective handles and commence spilling the beans. We'll pretend we don't know its you.:cool:
*ahem*. I did point out that it was on CNN and FoxNews on the day it happened.

Also the front page of several local newspapers.

monster 06-15-2007 07:56 AM
Well if it's in the public domain, no harm in you discussing it here......

skysidhe 06-15-2007 09:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by be-bop (Post 349315)
No one knows I post on message boards

yes we do!

mitheral 06-23-2007 10:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 350031)
I'm a 14 year old, female, nymphomaniac that will do anything for cheap trinkets.
Your first posts were amazingly articulate for a none year old.

TheMercenary 06-24-2007 07:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mitheral (Post 358336)
Your first posts were amazingly articulate for a none year old.
How old is "none"? :)

skysidhe 06-24-2007 08:52 AM
I watched Sounder once and enjoyed it.

skysidhe 06-24-2007 09:20 AM
cheap bastard
 
I kept the ring. #1 because it was a cheap hand me down from the his last relationship and #2 His next girlfriend deserves better than that.

Unfortunatly I saw his stash and he has lots of pawn shop rings to choose from.

poor woman ( women ) :headshake

DucksNuts 06-24-2007 07:20 PM
Is this the same guy Sky?

skysidhe 06-24-2007 08:54 PM
oh I would shoot myself out of frustration if it were not!

Ibby 06-24-2007 08:57 PM
I'm over her... But I'm scared, I'm not sure that I want to be.

skysidhe 06-24-2007 09:02 PM
I secretly wish I could give Ibram a hug. That's all I got.

Flint 06-24-2007 11:36 PM
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
All secrets revealed nightly in Gabbly Chat!

Sun_Sparkz 06-26-2007 04:43 AM
i am very sinister.

fargon 06-26-2007 06:59 AM
I'm a 50 year old pervert, and I will work for sex. Any kind of sex!!!


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