bri ~

please PM me. i have much to share in this area of unrequited love. . . and its not pretty.

google poets faculty (just like that-poets faculty) and his name pops up and you can EVEN SEE A PICTURE! He's second from left, blue shirt, bald guy.

Teaching English to the English? Isn't that like taking coal to New Castle?

Anyhow, I know exactly how you feel, Bri! BLECH! Did you ever check out that link I sent you? NO CONTACT is the key. Don't keep e-mailing this reptile or accepting any more calls where he wants to boast about his most recent conquests. I wonder if the two women know about each other? He didn't mention their names did he? You could look up their addresses and e-mail or write them and tell them about each other. THAT would set the cat among the pidgeons!

He's not worth throwing away your sobriety over. DON'T DO IT! He'd love for you to fall apart over him. His type always does. Just like he enjoys inflicting pain on you by telling you about his two most recent lovers. He has no conscience, no remorse, no guilt. He's a smooth con who is clever at sinking his hooks into people. As you have discovered, those hooks have barbs that make them very nasty to remove, but you CAN do it. No contact is the key.

I hate him for you, Bri. REALLY, REALLY HATE HIM! :rar:

i a v. sad

Nooo...go get a massage or a facial instead. You will feel so much better, today AND tomorrow.

Bri - I am so sorry for all the pain this animal is putting you through :( Please don't let him take your self respect and sobriety from you too! We are all here for you as you have been for many MANY of us! If there is anything I can do just let me know

Dave

Bri - don't end up in jail over this fuckface. You're better than that.

Fer chrissakes get a boyfriend.....someone to keep you busy.:eyebrow:

I will protect myself. I hate being vulnerable. This won't happen again. That is the only consolation I have. I've collected up all the stuff he's given to me over the last three years and I'm mailing it to him. Now, should I send it to his wife or send it to where he works?

Bri, make two copies of EVERYTHING, send one set to his wife, the other set to his department chair. Keep one set for yourself and put it in box somewhere in your attic (you never know when you might need them).

I am sure that by now his wife is well aware of his carryings on and just decided to endure them, but if by any chance she is still in denial, those letters will certainly snap her out of it.

I don't know about Ohio, but here in Colorado, colleges and universities have sanctions against professors who become involved with their students. It is HEAVILY frowned on because it can lead to EEO/sexual harassment suits against the institution, itself. When I taught here, we were required to sit through a two hour session with an EEO expert, so that there would be no doubt in our minds what activities were forbidden and what the possible legal consequences are.

This man needs to be stopped from continuing to harm others. He is taking advantage of his position to play fast and lose with his students' well-being. This is just wrong. I'm sure the department chair would be highly interested in those letters.

Middle-aged coeds? They should have there shit together by now. I'd guess they're seeking something from him to get involved in the first place.....approval?...better grade?....conquest? Who's using whom, here? :eyebrow:

One woman is a "colleague", and I don't know about the other one. I doubt if she is a student. He told me that sometimes these women "stay over" at his flat--spend the night. I am assuming that they do not know one another, but, hell, maybe they do. I don't think he's boffing the two of them together because he could hardly boff me very well. He'd be too worn out. He told me that these women have lives there, in London, and this was just a "for the moment" thing with them; his wife is here in the States, and he is there fucking as much of England as he can before he comes home in June or July. He said, "It's not emotional. I'm not changing my life." Meaning...? What? That I shouldn't be upset, when he comes "home" I will once again have his attention. HA. The only reason he even called me yesterday was because I mentioned to him that my new English prof was very, very hot. I think that disturbed him just a smidgen; like, he had to reassert himself, make sure I was still president of his Fan Club. One of his students on RateMyProf.com said he was the most arrogant, obnoxious, self-loathing, Mr. Burns look-a-likes he'd ever come across. I believe that student was right.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to quit school. I am hopeless. When you are 20 you don't know how dumb you are. I KNOW how dumb I am. It's all very depressing.

Sure, you don't need school. You could be an Au Pair....or a Pole Dancer....or President of the whole USA. :right:

The dude sure used Brianna who WAS one of his students. He didn't even let her know that he was married until he got her hooked in. Then he made noises about leaving his wife which were just noise. You see the state poor Bri is in. She TRUSTED this dude and look what he did to her! The jerk!

There are plenty of women in their forties who go back to college to get their lives back together after a divorce or whatever. These women can be more vulnerable than the 20 year olds if they're still smarting from the end of a 20 marriage and worried about their attractiveness, etc., etc. Perfect prey for Professor Reptilicus. :mad:

Sure he took advantage, he took advantage of his position, he took advantage of his status, he took advantage of his power.

So does mick Jagger.

I'm having a hard time picturing the Prof as Snidely Whiplash, threatening Pentalope Pureheart to give it up, or lose the ranch.
It takes two.

I have no trouble conjuring up, however, Pentalope flirting with Snidely for personal gain and him taking advantage of it. Whether Pentalope got screwed depends of what she was after. That's what happens when you equate sex with love. :smack:

I doubt that Bri was trying to flirt her way to a better grade. When I took physics in college, we had a professor who told the class a little story about one of his previous female students who visited him in his office just before finals.

"I'll do ANYTHING to get a better grade," she said.

The prof looked double at her and said "ANYTHING?"

"Yes," she replied, "ANYTHING!"

"Then try studying," he told her.

Then the physics prof went on to say to us, "My advise to all of you is the same. If you are having difficulty in my class, I'm willing to try to help you during my office hours. Other than that, try studying the book and your notes."

Just because you can take advantage of someone doesn't make it right if you do.

Note that "Brianna" and "Issac" are at different colleges. It is not a direct faculty/student relationship. This was just a plain old fashioned mind fuck. Dr. Poet knows how to romance and manipulate. This had nothing to do with grades.

Brianna, find a nice engineer. We might lack social skills, but we're straight up. Start dating again and lose contact with Issac.

Walk up to a too-short-pants guy on line at Starbucks and ask him if you can buy him a beverage. Bonus if he has a laptop with him. They have a good CS dept at your college. A coffee shop near there should be fertile with guys without wedding bands and funny looking socks.

I agree...more likely to try to please an authority/father figure.
Yes, and that works both ways.
Not when this whole thing started.

Look, the history and fault/blame shit can be debated ad infinitum, but the bottom line is.....STOP IT.
Get away and stay away from this asshole. Any more bullshit is entirely self inflicted. :eyebrow:

I see where you get the X's and O's in your moniker.

I'm with Bruce. Enough is enough.

I agree. I know the type Bri got involved with from first hand experience. They are emotionally devastating and very hard to disengage from. There are many support groups out on the Net for people who are going through what Bri and I did. I never would have made it through this past year without my online support groups. I ended up meeting some of these folks IRL and/or talking on the phone with them, corresponding privately via e-mail, etc. Those folks opened my eyes and saved my ass. I haven't spoken with the ax murderer since the end of last November, and I can't wait to leave here and never see him again. You can bet that I certainly won't even be telling him I'm going, much less telling him where.

Bri needs to save herself and walk away - maybe even transfer to another school. Just get away and get him out of her life.

This is factually incorrect. Brianna has been in Ohio and Issac has been in Massachusetts. He found her on a poetry forum and sweet talked her to meeting him in Pittsburgh. Some online pretators are young, jobless losers and some are rich, successful and smart with mother-rejection issues.

Mari and I have offered some constructive avenues of action. Do you have any potential solutions to offer Brianna?

Ok. I am responsible for carrying on with him after I knew he was married. Something he was NOT forthcoming about. He told me AFTER he knew I was in love with him in a "by the way..." sort of manner. I should have stopped there. I didn't. The rest is indeed my fault. He was good, though. Very manipulative and I am pretty needy (shocker, huh?) When it's all said and done, I should have said goodbye a looooong time ago. I did not. I am paying the price for hanging on like a fool. He is an arrogant, snobby, elitist man who cheats on his wife. That is it. He's nothing more than that. Thanks for listening (again) and I am over him. If I ever bring him up again you all have permission to shoot me.

From RateMyProf.com--what some of his former student say about him: "arrogant", "self-inflated", "bitter", "condescending", "overly complimentry to female students", "dorky", "intellectual dross", "about as funny as the AIDS quilt (from a student who took him for Comedy and Satire)---the list goes on.

I stand corrected I certainly do, and so have many others here, in some other threads she started.
It's well past offering her a hankie and sharing a chocolate cake, time. That just prolongs the agony.
Time to slap her up side the head and yell at her....GET OVER IT.
Your coddling and commiserating is ruining her life by letting her slip back into the self pity she has to shake off.

I know, I know, I'm just an insensitive lout, I'm a beast, I'm a...a...a man.
True, all true, but I'm also right. :p

Peace. A combo of your tough love with my unconditional love is probably the Rx here.

I don't think you are a insensitive lout at all. But, why do men always have to have it right/wrong, black/white, when the world is in full technicolor? Mathematical logic shows that systems are either Incomplete or Inconsistent. Either you can prove TRUE==FALSE, or there are TRUE statements that are unprovable. Life is Complete, therefore it is Inconsistent.

Because that's the only way anything gets accomplished. Crying over mistakes doesn't help. Access the damage, formulate a plan and move on, wiser and prepared to make bigger and better mistakes.:D

My god, he DOES look like Mr Burns!!! Have you counted how many fingers he has?

Eh...it's probably already too late, but I suggest tossing all the shit out. In cases like these, it's best to burn bridges.

I tossed it. No sense hurting his wife.

Atta Girl Bri - you're getting into a better frrame of mind now. the warm weather will be here soon and all the glory of Spring will help keep too. Smile and breathe.

I am so misreable and unhappy that I am, at this moment, crying.

Oh Bri don't let this jerk make you feel terrible - you are a wam consierate and beautiful person. The fact that you are having these feeling is proof to that. There will be a time when a man worthy of you crosses your path and all the pain that you've felt in the past will be a testment to all the wonderful feelings you will share with him.

Not one of us would rather hang out with that guy than with you. Not one of us.

Gimme a call if you want - I got lots of free time at home and no computer to fill it with - I end up going insane trying to solve these damn Soduko things my son got me hooked on. :nuts:

Damn right!

sincerely, I thank you.

I am trying. Unfortunately, I've little success with, well, success.

Bri. damnit, girl! Go to those boards I sent you the links for. The guy is textbook, and the people on those support boards are incredible. Its all women (and men, too) going through exactly what you and I have been through. The support there is incredible! Especially on WON! JUst say the word, girl, and I'll sponsor you in. Quit letting the bastard win!

Love,

Mari

Yea, what she said.

We should write the fuckwad a group letter from the Cellar...tell him to quit jerking one of our own around. If I had more money, I'd offer to hire Guido to rough him up, too.

I know I said you could shoot me...so, shoot me already. He called me thursday, he'd just gotten back to London from Istanbul (conference). He's in Canterbury this weekend then off to somethingShire THEN off to Italy to meet up with family to celebrate oldest daughter's birthday, "yada, yada, yada, isn't my life fascinating and poor you! Writing thesis statements that don't matter!" You know what, though? Instead of feeling all energized and tingly after he called, I felt horrid and kind of pissed-off, too. God, is he pretentious.

Well, that's good. Sounds like you've overcome the chemical reaction to him.

Bri just needs to get him to start posting here. He thinks he knows English?? I'll give that bastard an English lesson he'll never forget.

Bri, please change your phone number and avoid this pos.

Why change numbers? Why not just hang up? :eyebrow:

i think mariciko hit it on the head. dead on.

listen to that post.

i cant hear anything

deaf as a post

thats fucking hilarious

That is intellectually the right thing to do, Mr. Spock. And if it were that easy, Brianna would have done this already. But, this is a highly-charged emotional situation. It's hard to just do the right thing when faced with this kind of manipulation and heartbreaking rejection.

That's the problem. You idiots keep it a "highly-charged emotional situation" with this bullshit you call "support". You're nothing but enablers, not friends.:rar:

im sorry bruce :(

Mr Spock, this emotional human thing is very hard to explain.

Of course it's hard to explain, it's fantasy land. Stop wallowing in past mistakes.

He done her wrong? Bullshit, she knew very well he was a slimy pig. Wasn't she married during part of this fiasco? She knew he certainly was, so how did she expect it to end....leave his wife and take her on a tour to meet the Kings and Queens of Europe? Grow up.

Anyway, he's clearly not her Prince Charming so move on, already. :rolleyes:

No, I wasn't married. I've been divorced for 12 years now. And, yeah, I thought he WAS going to take me to meet the queen. he said as much. :(

But, it IS over. Over as over gets.

I stand corrected on the married.
I should think you would even be embarrassed to be seen in public with the slime ball considering how many people know what he is....at least any women he's ever met.
Move on. ;)

Although His delivery is a little harsh Bri, Bruce is ritght the heck on. I wouldn't waste a braincell or a teardrop on him - he's not worth it. Just get your chin off your chest, straighten up and move forward with a big fat smile on your face. Soon enough it'll be a real one and you'll be all the better for it. :)

I think my eyes are going to bleed.
What happened to a clean cut?

Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Who the fuck asked you? HUH?

And, go fuck yourself. Ya fuck.

Ok. That was mean and harsh of me. I'm sorry.
But, really, why read it if it makes your eyes bleed? I don't read threads that make MY eyes bleed...