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-   -   Torn Between Two Friends (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=9965)

seakdivers 01-31-2006 09:09 PM

Mari - I think you did exactly the right thing by basically letting them both know that you will not be involved in any behind the back crap.
I have had to deal with that for years at my workplace. Employee A has a beef with employee B (yet they are completely civil to each other on the surface) and since I am neutral ground, I get the emails from both of them bashing each other. I'm like the net on a ping pong table.
You should stick to your guns and refuse to talk about anything that can't be discussed openly between all parties.

WabUfvot5 02-01-2006 01:39 AM

Brianna, certainly some people like drama but I suspect almost everybody in that group would love to avoid it after their expecience. You're lucky those types send up red flags in your case; avoiding the types Mari describes isn't something they teach you in school. I think she hit the nail with trust issues. I lost a friend due largely (or so I presume) to trust issues after she dealt with a socio and have seen it with another. You can be as open as reasonably possible but if a person has trust issues it can lead to a lot of problems.

footfootfoot 02-01-2006 05:04 PM

Mari,
With friends like A, who needs enemas?
What she did sucked. You didn't ask for that info and you are under no obligation to keep it confidential.

I'd just avoid her.

Sorry for the cliff notes version of a real post a la the above folks. I have these micro windows between

other duties which call me away.

Just one Q for you. Have you considered what the payoff (to you) is for getting yourself invloved w/ axe murderers and boundary crashers? Or could it be run of the mill familiarity?

Sometimes we aren't even remotely interested in healthy people. a) they are unfamiliar to us and b) they are boring.

yesman065 02-03-2006 08:05 AM

How bout sending an email to both saying all future correspondence concerning the "other one" from them to you will immediately be fowarded to the "other one" as well? That way they'll both know that their comments about the "other" will go directly to the "other" person as well. The emails will cease immediately - guaranteed! Its hard to play without a net. Conversely, playing Switzerland will not work. It will only prolong the childish war of words.

marichiko 02-03-2006 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot
Mari,
With friends like A, who needs enemas?
What she did sucked. You didn't ask for that info and you are under no obligation to keep it confidential.

I'd just avoid her.

Sorry for the cliff notes version of a real post a la the above folks. I have these micro windows between

other duties which call me away.

Just one Q for you. Have you considered what the payoff (to you) is for getting yourself invloved w/ axe murderers and boundary crashers? Or could it be run of the mill familiarity?

Sometimes we aren't even remotely interested in healthy people. a) they are unfamiliar to us and b) they are boring.

Foot to the third power, As to my two internet pals, it was kind of hard to tell they were boundary crashers at first. They are both funny, intelligent women - one is a lawyer and the other has her own physical therapy practice (and yes, I know these things are for reals). When I got placed in the middle, I was quite surprised and I backed away at once.

As for the ax murderer, he was a combination of psycho stealth, childhood baggage and the fact that I was physically ill when I met him. I do confess to a certain fascination for "bad boys," but the ax murderer was too bad even for me!

Trilby 02-03-2006 03:51 PM

mari-- you've no freaking values. You don't know who is for real and who is not.

liberals love to parade you out. you are so easily taken in.

PS-I myself am a scum sucking liberal. i am also appropriately ashamed. Of myself.

marichiko 02-03-2006 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna
mari-- you've no freaking values. You don't know who is for real and who is not.

liberals love to parade you out. you are so easily taken in.

PS-I myself am a scum sucking liberal. i am also appropriately ashamed. Of myself.

LOL, Brianna, a kindergartner could fool me these days! Especially one with a "Hilliary for President" bumper sticker on her trike! :lol:

Trilby 02-03-2006 05:14 PM

i give up.

mrnoodle 02-03-2006 05:40 PM

UT, is there some easy way to bookmark this thread for the 2008 election arguments?

:lol:

footfootfoot 02-04-2006 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna
mari-- you've no freaking values. You don't know who is for real and who is not.

liberals love to parade you out. you are so easily taken in.

PS-I myself am a scum sucking liberal. i am also appropriately ashamed. Of myself.

Am I being paraniod or did you just insinuate that I am a liberal? I mean your post came right after mine was quoted. Was that a coincidence? :worried:

Trilby 02-04-2006 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot
Am I being paraniod or did you just insinuate that I am a liberal? I mean your post came right after mine was quoted. Was that a coincidence? :worried:

No. I'm not saying you are a liberal, footfootfoot. Coincidence!

marichiko 02-04-2006 04:24 PM

LOL Thread drift! You gotta love it! Am I the only one on this board who openly admits to the L word without apology? Yeah, go ACLU! I love Jimmy Carter! I think we need to have national health insurance and every single public school should provide the same level of excellent education for every last one of this nation's children! I think we need to be concerned for the environment because its the only we got and if we mess it up, life on Pluto is NOT an alternative! I refuse to buy into the propaganda that Wal Mart is somehow involved in a global free market. I think working people deserve to earn a living wage.

And I'M NOT SORRY! SO THERE! :lol:

WabUfvot5 02-05-2006 04:55 AM

I have to say that all fits me but I don't know if it makes me a liberal. Depends on who you ask I'm sure.

xoxoxoBruce 02-05-2006 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marichiko
Heh, Bruce! Spoken like a guy as well as a "civilian." You haven't been there, thank God! You don't wanna go there! Thanks for the "straighten up and fly right" words of wisdom, tho! :rolleyes:

Back off Hippie! You don't know where I've been. I've woke up bleeding, although I wasn't in fear of my life, I was pretty pissed off.
Everybody over 6, without exception, has been put in the middle by two people they like. Quite often it's their damn parents.
It's not a traumatic experience for a rational adult. It's not about the one in the middle, you/me/they, are just like a barrel in a barrel race.......incidential. :headshake

marichiko 02-05-2006 06:44 AM

Whoops! Sorry, big guy! I think we mis-understood one another. I was referring to the experience of waking up one morning next to an ax murderer; I guess you meant getting caught between two friends. Yeah, that last one we pretty much all have been through. :blush:


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