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How To Pick A Major That You Might Actually Use One Day
How To Accept The Fact That You Might Not Get The Job You Want Just Because You Have A Degree |
Birth Control 101. (I am really thinking about teaching this one -- with Planned Parenthood)
No, Opening Up a Box Isn't Cooking -- basic knife skills, spices and their uses, eating green things won't kill you Professionalism 101 - I Don't Have to Like You, I Just Have to Work with You |
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well, not the tibet part. |
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BOYS: 1.) Why a reversible vasectomy is the best $400 you will ever invest. 2.) Why you will not, in fact, have any control over what she decides to do with the baby. 3.) Why she has the legal right to take all your money and teach your children that you're Satan. GIRLS: 1.) How to get yourself a prescription for the Pill without your parents knowing 2.) How to find a good adoptive family. 3.) How to ignore your female relatives' sentimental bullshit about "not giving up blood" regardless of how unprepared you are to be a mother. |
How to Fail. undergrad and grad levels
How to Forgive. undergrad and grad levels Understanding Your Motives. undergrad level The Value of Being Lost. grad level |
1-You have your degree and still don't know Jack Shit about life, love or how to survive.
2-You have your Masters and know even less. 3-You have your Doctorate and can't function without a personal assistant. :rolleyes: |
So many good ones but, having grown up in spitting distance of NYC I cannot overstae the importance of:
Great pizza, good pizza, and shitty pizza; How to tell the difference. Great chinese food, good chinese food, shitty chinese food. And for upper levels, why you don't eat Japanese food at a chinese restaurant and why you never eat sushi if you are not walking distance from the ocean. |
1) Your professors lives are more screwed up than yours, something to keep in mind when they get preachy.
2) Your degree is just a piece of paper, don't let it decide the kind of work you do. 3) Dream a little bit and don't always do as you're told. |
--Yes, You Still Have to Deal with Real People
--Beers of the World --Picking Up a Woman Without Either of You Being Under the Influence of Alcohol |
Life isn't fair 101 - Even if you SHOULD be King or Queen of the Universe, you're not. How not to take your bitterness about this fact out on small children, other drivers on the highway, and the clerk at the grocery store.
Extra Credit - Understanding that your teachers are not out to get you because you have to read the textbook or learn how to write a simple English sentence. Real World 310 - Don't assume that just because someone smiles at you on your first date, they're your soul mate. Slow down. The children you'll never conceive will thank you. Employment 205 - The boss is always fucked. You still have to be professional, regardless of this. One day, YOU may be the boss. Or not. Reality 312 - God does not live at the bottom of a fifth of Jim Beam. The world doesn't care if you had a bad childhood. The fact that you COULD have been a contender will not earn you the respect of actual contenders. |
How to avoid being scammed.
If it's too good to be true, it probably is. along those lines, Advertisements, commercials, and general marketing: How you are manipulated to buy and use products you don't need. How to read between the lines of ads. How to have a MIND OF YOUR OWN. Doctors and healthcare: When to seek a second opinion. The truth about HMO's, conventional vs nutritional and alternative medicine, etc. Treat the body as a whole, and don't just put band-aids on your symptoms. The overuse of antibiotics, steroids, and how the pharmaceutical companies are running things. Never blindly trust any authority. At the same time, Scams in the natural health care industry: Does homepathy REALLY work? Chiropracters, acupuncturists, herbal supplements- which can help you and which are a scam? What the garbage you are eating is REALLY doing to your body. How to make better choices and teach your children to eat healthy. Children did not evolve to eat french fries, chicken fingers, pizza, hot dogs and burgers. What you are is what you eat. Required course for all pet owners: The truth about commercial pet food, vaccinations and other poisins your pets are subjected to regularly, and how they are contributing to chronic illnesses, general poor health, obesity, behavior problems, etc. How to REALLY drive: what Driver's Ed didn't tell you. How to avoid instigating road rage in others. How to treat your own road rage. |
Don't stress out over things you can't control 101
The left lane is for PASSING 101 |
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(note: I'm not talking about technical schools, vocational schools and not necessarily community colleges.) |
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