If I tried to make him get out of bed and clean, he would say "no" and roll over and fall back asleep.

stereo on BLAST with some good tunes that will MAKE you move

Oh and burry his lazy ass in dirty laundry , if he bitches , flash him some beaver and say "if you EVER want to see this again you WILL help !!!!!"

So that's how the wife gets you out of the hammock.

what the hell kind of men do you people get locked up with? I'm totally serious! When i was a single guy, I lived in absolute filth - nothing was ever cleaned, I did laundry only when I couldn't walk from my bed to the door without stepping on dirty clothes. My kitchen was filled up with dirty dishes and old pizza boxes. It doesn't bother me all that much.

We both work an insane number of hours, but we split the housework as evenly as we can. I clean the bathroom top to bottom every saturday morning, make dinner and clean the kitchen about 1/2 the time, and the ONLY reason is because I love my wife, and it's important to her.

I don't care how squishy a guy makes you feel in your girl parts, if his love for you doesn't motivate him to actions that demonstrate selflessness and compassion, it's not good enough. Respect yourself. Expect more from the guys you throw in with.

-ml

Problem is, the one who hates cleaning always wins. Find something else the knucklehead can contribute to make it worth your while to do all the cleaning.

The hardball stuff never works.

No, SM hit the nail here.

If Arsen cared about and respect Stacey's need for a decently clean environment, he would make it a priority himself.

And I think instead of Stacey acting like a child about her half of the cleaning, don't make it a condition of "If you do yours, I'll do mine." Make it "I'm doing what I promised you I'd do, whether or not you follow through on your promise." Maybe that will shame him into doing his part.

And you know, this is a direct correlation to your relationship, back from the reading-emails period of your marriage. Things have not changed fundamentally, Stacey. They've just had a change of how they are expressed.

arsen is a piece of shit. i spit on his soul!

P'tooey!

LJ, you took the words right out of my mouth.


Stacey, time to work on those self esteem issues.

Don't you people forget ANYthing???!

Quite, sm. You marry someone for who they are. If you don't like it, you shouldn't have married them. Now, you decide whether to lie in the bed that you've made or move on and not repeat the mistake. Would you still want to be in this relationship if you ALWAYS had to do ALL the housework? If yes, cool, carry on. If not, whoops, should have thought of that, nevermind, move on; because he will never change.

Aye.

It's not the sex that makes me love him. I don't get hung up on guys over sex. Anyone can screw me, and most men are pretty good at it. That part's easily exchangeable.

I don't mind having the cleaning be all my job- IF I don't have to work. Now, my husband has promised me that this will be my last year waitressing.
If he would pay all the bills and I didn't have to work, that would be enough for me!
I want to get out of the rat-race, stop rushing around so much, being irritable and stressed out. I really want to be a homemaker and do some volunteer work. I know my husband is somewhat irresponsible and immature, but if he wants to support me financially, I can let that go!
I love him for many other qualities he has- like the fact that he is always KIND to me, he doesn't overreact when I have my little temper tantrums, and he accepts me as I am. We have fun when we go out, he makes me laugh, he'll go to the store for me at 2 am if I "need" chips, and he doesn't complain a lot. He is also a great salesperson and he lets me hold all of his money so he won't piss it away, he never wants to buy anything for himself, and he will send off every extra dime that he makes to pay off debt.
So I guess I'll have to wait and see if he follows through with the whole "housewife" plan...But until then, we just might have to live in filth. I don't want to do my half until he does his, because what's the point? A clean kitchen and a filthy bathroom? Orderly bedroom and disgusting living room? This place would still be depressingly dirty and not clean enough to have company, plus, I might be tempted to do it all after I get my half done. I have to stand strong on this, because if I'm already cleaning the whole apartment, cooking, etc, etc, he wouldn't feel like he was getting any benefit from me being a full-time housewife- kind of like when women won't screw a guy until they get married.. and,the fact that it's just plain not fair, and I really don't have the time/ energy.

I wrote a proper response to this but my piece of shit computer cut me off. To summarise:

- It is not kind to not clean,
- I think you feel that your 'temper tantrums' are a burden and you should be grateful to any man willing to 'put up' with you, and
- clean up or get ill. He won't do it. Battles and games in relationships are a recipe for disaster.

So, good luck! :thumbsup:

yeah, that's true to an extent. I don't want to be with somebody that I have to act fake around, and the real me is a bitch. And I would like to change that, but I feel like I can't help it at times.

Oh, and Arsen LOVES a challenge. So maybe he loves me for not cleaning? :love: :guinea:

No, he loves you because he can be an assclown and still get laid regularly. And he doesn't have to do shit. I disagree with the people who don't want you to get tough. Screw all that happy psychological shit. Put a bucket and a mop in the room with him, and barricade the door until the room he's locked in is clean. Or call the cops and have them put handcuffs on him, like the little girl throwing the tantrum.

By the way I am single, so no, I don't know what I'm talking about.

and I love him because I can be a raging bitch, throw things, be stubborn, lose my temper, complain, walk around with messy hair and no makeup, and call him "buttface", and he still loves me. :)