I think most people that disagree with this do so out of principle rather than any logical basis. Sure it ain't pretty but deep down, it's true. Some of it is very harsh and a little over the top but the framwork works and I've only seen one exception on the male/female friends thing that he doesn't mention - it can work if you sleep together first.

More hair, more brains, hey?:D

I have a male friend who I occassionally have fantastic sex with. Does this count? We're not fuck buddies, but neither are we 'just friends'. No jealousy, commitment or relationship politics. It works brilliantly.

Not sure if this is relevant but I just wanted to tell someone because we have a secrecy pact.

Yeah, decidedly oversimplified, but rooted in sound principles.

The purely physical, and thus non-rational, aspect has been covered, so now on to the conscious.

The sociologist Veblen covered the conscious pursuit of prowess in a mate in discussing physical prowess versus pecuniary prowess. He's also the one who gave us the term "conspicuous consumption," or the idea of how people try to both attract mates and show their success in life by spending unnecessarily.

http://www.mnc.net/norway/veblen.html

http://cepa.newschool.edu/het/profiles/veblen.htm

I fail to see the line between that and fuck buddies.

Ladder theory would say, deep down, one of you is hiding something. Personally I feel there can be exceptions, I can think of one sexual-tension free friendship and as above: strings-free fucking.

My question for you would be, and you may as well be honest about this:
Could you in any situation, say your life suddenly fell apart, see yourself seeking anything more from the situation.

"My question for you would be, and you may as well be honest about this:
Could you in any situation, say your life suddenly fell apart, see yourself seeking anything more from the situation."


Prepared answer: no of course not, he's just a friend and I don't want anything more than that.

Honest answer: yes. But I think this would be on a delusional level and not related to actual 'real' emotion: I think women suffer from this more than men (easy girls, I generalise here), but I do think there is a tendency for a woman to make more of any given relationship than her male counterpart. They hang onto something that may or may not be good for them, for reasons I have yet to discover. And a woman's ability (myself included) to talk herself into an emotion and truly believe it is fascinating.

Excellent site. It reminds me of something I wrote a few years ago called "My personal observations about women". He is very insightful and truthful. It's just too bad pussified men, and bitter nasty bitches don't like to hear the truth.

I don't think it affects women more than men to be honest. There are plenty of men that lash themselves to women like a drowning man to a passing plank. I have noticed the talking into things though, interesting.

Women my overstate relationships but I've heard guys just make them up (and the fantastic sex to boot) out of a complete absence of knowledge, including name.

I think you hit the nail on the head here. I've had a female friend on one occasion cross the line between close friendship and something more when she was having a particularly rough time, any port in a storm stuff and she could trust me. Just found the phenomena interesting.

This theory may be based on some fundamental truths, but they are grossly oversimplified. Any complex subject that is boiled down to this level has had most (or all) of it's usefulness reduced away.

One could use similar reasoning to say that scientifically, every action that any person takes in his/her life is directly or indirectly in the pursuit of getting laid, because reproducing is what biological organisms are built to do. It may be a true statement at its heart, but it isn't useful. It ignores the immense complexity which makes people, and their relationships, much more than the sum of their parts.

It isn't difficult to scrutinize things to the point that the information doesn't contribute to a solution or to a more enlightened perspective. Knowing what a water molecule looks like isn't particularly helpful when one is drowning.

*sniffs the air*

Is it just me or is there a Troll about?

I agree with you that with humans it's much more complex, because of our ostensibly more evolved status. Despite the reasearch that shows how we choose mates based on DNA, I think there's a lot more to it than that, when it comes to us. But I do think it's interesting that those instincts are working in the background.

I think it's kind of along the lines of thinking, "yeah, money's good, but if he's an asshole, the money isn't worth it."

Sidhe

And this has to do with the thread.....HOW? While I agree with the basic premise, it looks like more of that rabid libertarianism to me...

Sidhe

And he wonders why he has had relationship problems.

Any luck getting through your immigration red tape problems yet?

And are you still in contact with your wife? The last guy I knew that had similar problems related to bride importation has not heard from her in about 9 months or so, and is trying to work on getting his Canadian marriage (that's as close to the US as he got her) annulled without her presence.

Whether this theory has any validity of not depends on whether or not you are personally ready to come down out of the trees and live like a civilized person.

Welcome to the world of talking leaves.

According to ladder theory then, you were on top of the friends ladder and slipped into the shag/potential relationship ladder, only to be subsequently replaced with someone on a higher rung...

As much as I outwardly contest the assumption that beneath my pleasant and genuine emotional exterior lies a cold-hearted malevolent status obsessed bitch, there does appear to be more than a few grains of truth in the theory, although all it has really done is glamourise/complicate what humans have possessed for eternity: a compulsive obsession with sex.

PS. Is this where the aphorism 'It's bad luck to walk under a ladder' comes from?