and if you're close enough for her to put one between your eyes, she's close enough to tickle your ass with a feather.

what the hell is going on here?

Life isn't easy for a boy named Sue. Sue had been told early on by his father, "Boy, this world is gonna eat you alive if you don't learn how to whoop you some ass," and his old man's wisdom turned out to be right on the money. It was his dad's way of teaching his son how to overcome life's inevitable obstacles. He just gave the kid a head start by naming him Sue.

The lesson came fast -- and hard. Sue had to fight every day in the school. Boys would come up to him in the yard and challenge him, saying things like, "hey, you got a girl's name!"

Those years were tough. But Sue proved to be as tough as those years. Eventually, he could lay a beating on anyone who dared to point out that he had a girl's name. It made him a reject and a target of random assault, but it also made him a man.

Life isn't easy for a boy named Sue.

--if anyone gets that reference...

Moving from one JC to another:

You don't tug on Superman's Cape
You don't spit in the wind.
You don't pull the mask of the old lone ranger
and you don't mess around with Jim.

Also never eat at a place called "Mom's" and never play cards with a guy named "Doc".

At one point, all of my ex's lived, not in Texas, but in Tennessee. Then they were spread out all over the country. Now they're in Minnesota.
I'm not really that great a person, why'd they follow me?

This time it was right. This time it would work. This time there would be no witnesses.

Sergeant Rex Havoc felt himself flinch as he pried the top from the container. It opened with little resistance...and without the familiar hissing sound or the smell of soapy almonds that he'd been trained to dread. For a moment he dared not peek inside -- how could it be this way? Something had to be wrong; it had to be a trick. To have come this far, to have risked so much...for it all to end like this? It must be...

He shook his head. Get a grip, said a voice from somewhere inside the steel trap that was his killer's mind. Don't question it. Get what you came here for and get out before anybody sees you. But as he reached inside, he heard footsteps approaching...

My uncle is sick, but the mailbox is green.

Eating bananas is the cause of global warning, but the government doesn't want you to know that.

global warning?!?!

We've been warned? by who?

better not be those damn buggers again.

True conversations
 

Amy - "Did you fry your trousers?"
Me - "Pardon?"
Amy - "Did you fry your trousers?"
Me - "No, why?"
Amy - "Oh! Because they look like two ice-creams with custard"


Me - "Wash your face, Maureen!"
Maureen - "Anglo-catholic."

Sun opens her wardrobe doors and removes her suitcase.. she encloses a picture of a monkey, a typewriter and whats left of her sanity.

walking down the dusty path back into the RW she zipps up the enclave of her mind that keeps her wondering.. what are these people smoking?

*bump*

Well bumped, sir!

Today I acquired anti-diarrhea pills and laxative pills. I think I'll take two of each and let them fight it out.

you can also put random posts in the post-whore thread.

Just saying. :)

But this predates that