The Cellar - The Test

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- - The Test (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=4753)

Quote:

Originally posted by blue58
My answers are:

Business
Morality
Love
Friendship
Sex

But more importantly, how do I use this to my advantage, getting laid for example?

Keep your sex life in the business realm... two words Las Vegas. :)

Business
Sex
Love
Friendship
Morality

that's fucked up. I ranked them as follows:

Boatman.....stayed constant, siezed opportunity
some other guy......also an opportunist
lady.......sacrificed for her love, but still.....
friend....trouble maker
man.......unforgiving nitz.

if asked to rank the words above in order of importance, it would be more like this:

love....it's all that really matters in the end
morality...to thine own self be true
business.....money makes the world go round
sex.....there's always your imagination
friendship.....as long as you have love

Ooo! I really don't like this version of the test! It seems convoluted and difficult to follow, and it even changes the flow from the original test.

The test was originally published in the book "The Pigman" by Paul Zindel. It's not a terribly impressive work on it's own, but his little test has grown far beyond the popularity of the book.

Anyhow, verbatim, here is the test in Zindel's words:

Quote:

There is a river with a bridge over it, and a WIFE and her HUSBAND live in a house on one side. The WIFE has a LOVER who lives on the other side of the river, and the only way to get from one side of the river to the other is to walk across the bridge or ask the BOATMAN to take you.

One day, the HUSBAND tells his WIFE that he has to be gone all night to handle some business in a nearby town. The WIFE pleads with her HUSBAND to take her with him, because she knows that if he doesn’t that she will be unfaithful to him. The HUSBAND refuses to take her because she will only be in the way of his important business.

So the HUSBAND goes alone, promising to be back at dawn, and the WIFE goes over the bridge and stays the night with her LOVER. The WIFE leaves her LOVER just before the sun rises because she knows she must return home before her HUSBAND gets home. She starts to cross the bridge but sees an ASSASSIN waiting for her on the other side, and she knows that if she tries to cross he will murder her. In terror, she runs up the side of the river and asks the BOATMAN to take her across the river, but he wants fifty cents. Because she has no money, he will not take her.

The WIFE runs back to the LOVER’S house and explains her predicament is and asks him for fifty cents to pay the BOATMAN. The LOVER refuses, telling her it’s her own fault for getting into the situation. As dawn comes, the WIFE is nearly going out of her mind, and decides to dash across the bridge. When she comes face to face with the ASSASSIN, he takes out a large knife and stabs her to death.

On the comments section, list 1-5 who you think is the most responsible for the wife’s death, 1 being the most guilty: WIFE, HUSBAND, BOATMAN, LOVER, and ASSASSIN.

What's even more amusing is that Zindel's answer key looked like this:

1. Husband=Love
2. Wife= Fun
3. Lover=Sex
4. Assassin=Money
5. Boatman=Magic

Obviously you can't have "magic" in a personality test intended for the masses, so people have modified the meaning of the Boatman to make the test seem more realistic.

The most common remappings are "truth" or "honesty". But I've also seen "Law". The "Business" answer really isn't all that common, this is the first time I've seen that one.

I also find it amusing that in the original, the wife=fun, but in this version the wife=love. And while the husband used to be love, he's now morality.

When I was younger I really, really loved this test, so to see this cliff-notes version seems an affront to the original.

Here are your rankings.

Love
Morality
Friendship
Sex
Business

Morality
Friendship
Business
Love
Sex

Definitely inaccurate.

Sex
Morality
Love
Business
Friendship

Not right.
The guy with the $50 *IF* he didn't know her plight.
The husband *IF* he didn't know she needed the money.
The wife only because she's better than the other two.
The boatman for doubling the fair fee.
The friend was no friend.

Quote:

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
[Not right.
The friend was no friend. [/b]

mine:
Friendship
Morality
Business
Love
Sex

bruce, explain that one to me....if your wife/girlfriend had sex with someone other than you, and your best friend found out about it, wouldn't you want to know? granted it's pretty shitty that she would do such a thing but what are the odds that she'd tell you because she went behind your back? granted it wouldn't be the first time someone didn't confess their wrong doings but hey this is all hypathetical anyway, right?

morality
love
business
sex
friendship

i don't agree...i think friendhip and sex are more important than business.

Quote:

Originally posted by vsp
So we've got a greedy bastard, a homewrecker, a whore, a jealous prat and a tattletale.

What if I think that they all suck?

Exactly my thoughts.

But I'm proud to say, that even as is, morality ranked last.

Quote:

Originally posted by plthijinx

mine:
Friendship
Morality
Business
Love
Sex

bruce, explain that one to me....if your wife/girlfriend had sex with someone other than you, and your best friend found out about it, wouldn't you want to know? granted it's pretty shitty that she would do such a thing but what are the odds that she'd tell you because she went behind your back? granted it wouldn't be the first time someone didn't confess their wrong doings but hey this is all hypathetical anyway, right?

I would have to consider that person a friend, because I'd want to know. I don't play shit like that: the idea that a man is going to come home to ME with something that he could pass on to ME...oh hell no. I knew someone who was in that position. Long story short: young lady I worked with was married, was pregnant with their first child. Husband was in the Marines stationed in NC. Came home on leave, they had sex, he gave her an STD. Was found out later that he was having sex with way too many females. I think the baby turned out ok.

Again, hell no. Homey don't play that. :mad:

Morality
Business
Love
Friendship
Sex

Quote:

Originally posted by plthijinx
bruce, explain that one to me

They got married and were in the process of living happily ever after. Now comes this "friend" raking up muck from her past, blowing the marriage and giving them both baggage for the future. That's no friend.:)

And a sexual business transaction as a desparate, last attempt to be reunited with your loved one is different than getting a recreational or emotion laced bit on the side.

Love
Friendship
Business
Morality
Sex

(which offers very little hope, I suppose, for my suddenly-available-dating-status)
*sigh*:eek:

Morality - The man didn't do anything wrong so he is the best of the bunch.

Sex - The other man was just trying to get some and without his help the woman wouldn't have been able to buy a ticket. But he's lower because he mowed another man's lawn.

Business - The boatman was just trying to make a buck but he's slightly lower than the guy who paid the lady because he was price gowging the lady.

Friendship - Some of these are labeled poorly. How is the person who told a friend? She is a squealer/rat/tattletale and friends don't do that. She's lower than the boatman for that.

Love - This is a double misnomer because she's not a lady and people that love you don't sleep with others. The lady is the lowest of the group because she's a cheater.