I've found that one simple number gets rid of most mortgage-refinance telemarketers

Telemarketer: blah blah blah refinance blah blah low rates blah

Me, interrupting: Can you beat 4.75%

Them: Uhh, no sir, thank you for your time.

Or, in one case

Them: Fixed?

Me: Fixed.

Them: Uhh, no sir, thank you for your time.

Window and siding guys are more fun. My old way was

Them: Hi, this is Sears calling with blah blah blah windows, blah blah blah doors, blah blah blah siding...

Me: (puts phone down, waits a few minutes for noise to stop)

Me: (Picks up phone) "Sounds really great, but I rent" <click>

New way, same thing but "It's a condo".

note about "courtesy calls"
 

these are usually the "friendly" first line of attack from a collection agency. I've heard plenty of these calls in my time and even shared living accomodations with one. Pests, the lot of 'em.

Best disguised title for a collection department: "The Verizon Welcome Center"

HAR

Brian

Or realtors wanting to get you to buy a house, or banks wanting you to take a loan, or in this case, a Credit Card company wanting to offer Case a "Great Low Rate!". How do I know? They tried again the next night, only it was some guy at the other end, not poor pitiful Diane. But he knew Diane, and he wasn't in the least bit surprised that I behaved the way I did with her. He was also kind enough to take us off their call list. :)

Thanks to the do-not-call program, I rarely get telemarketing at home these days.

At work, I screen every call that comes in as a transfer. 90% of the time if they don't have my direct number, it's a cold sales call where they called up and asked for the person in charge of the computers. I even had the bright idea that I could help this along by putting the main switchboard number on anything that was likely to be used for marketing, like registrations for trade shows.

My friend, G, drove away some Jehovah's Witnesses from my house a few weeks back. She just stared at them without saying anything. They asked, "Do you speak English?" She used her stereotypically Korean features to full effect, and some Jedi mind trickery as well, no doubt. Didn't take them long to drop their little "Watchtower" magazines and move on.

"And ummm...this is a really great deal...and you can always, like, take the free trial, and then, like, cancel it after a month."--part of a recent call from someone doing telemarketing work for Comcast (our cable company)