By being an ugly retard.

..Would you believe some visitors have indeed let their kids partake of the squirmy fruity goodness? :vomit:

Quote:

Museums as a collective type are wierd places because expected behavior in them differs... (snippage) ... or the natural history museum with the low lighting all the stuffed critters frozen in diaramas?...I love those diaramas...:)

Ok. The expected behavior thing makes sense.
..Though I still fail to see how any parent could think it's ok to let Billy play pony on the dino mounts..

re: dioramas
Enjoy 'em while they last... :/

just kinda bad? come on whadja do? Tell us! Set the scene... Did it have anything to do with a Rocky imitation on the front steps? Were you checking the echo in the atrium? Or just general shiftiness near the breakables?

Most of the Phd canidates I've met, make me feel very superior. You know, calculate the density of Saturn's rings but wearing one shoe and one sneaker.:D

Ahhh...live critters. Well then, yes! 99% of the population are complete morons in regard to live critters and how to interact with/around them. Like the woman in Yellowstone, the Ranger caught smearing honey on her kids face so she could take a picture of bear licking her kid. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh.:mad:

Now there is someone who sounds like they should be up for the Darwin Award. :)

Be thankful! Most common things you DON'T HAVE to say daily:

paper or plastic?

ya want fries with that?

need any oil?

have you applied for your new XXX Visa today?

please keep your hands and feet inside the ride until the car comes to a full and complete stop.

will you hand me a rubber glove?

and..........


"Ma'am? Did you just pull this wad of wet dollar bills you gave me out of your bra?"

umm... did she get the pic?

No, they escorted her out of the park.:shotgun:

I pulled up to the toll booth on the Jersey pike and the guy in the van in front sticks his hand out to pay the toll. The woman in the booth is shaking her head no, repeatedly. Finally he pulls his hand in and after a minute or two sticks it back out with a bill, which she takes and gives him change. When I pulled up to the booth, I asked her if he was trying to pay with pennies. She said no, it was silver, that he spit into his hand right in front of her. :vomit:

Rho and I went to the Art Museum with her parents last summer. And I was in the impressionists gallery...I am completely fascinated by impressionist work. So, I'm standing very close to this Monet, noticing the fine pointillism work. Yet, I'm not actually breathing on it...I have my head tilted. All of a sudden, this angry looking security guard comes over, and says, "Sir, you're going to have to step back! Please do NOT touch the paintings." Then the guy kept his eye on me for the next 2 rooms.

To be honest, I don't know if I was *that* close to being thrown out or not. But given the worth of the art in that place, I figure I was fairly close. :)

I would have told him to lick my dick.

I say both of these.

Often.

Also "Please hand me the cup of urine."

Classic from last week:

wolf: Jim, why is your money wet?

Jim: Because I pissed myself.

I spent the next 20 minutes spraying his money with an industrial disinfectant (he had around $300 ... if it was under $20 I would have just told him to hang onto it so I didn't have to deal).

That's right, boys and girls, one of my "other related duties" is money laundering.

The classic. I myself have set off alarms (just looking closely, honest!) in the Minneapolis Institute of Arts -theyve got this Rembrandt that is so amazing- youre sucked right in. I set it off twice in one visit, drawing the guard stink eye. I've also seen guard totally tail people, dog them right out the door.

But I feel for the guards cause I was one once. And I know they gotta watch it, (Just not be such an asshole about it) Yes there are the previously mentioned stupids- Ive seen adults literally rub their hands down the surface of a painting, scratch at the paint with a fingernail, assist their kids as they mount a display case to grab on to some sculpture, breaking part of it off (was that wrong? should I have not done that?). And unfortunately,there are thieves and vandals trying to do damage- pens or other pointy things being the weapon of choice for whatever political or private gripe. Maybe theyre pissed at the guards.

I think this is changing a bit, but guards are the public face of most art museums. They are the only people visitors meet and interact with- and that can make or break the experience.

The good news is that urine is typically sterile. Gross, but not germ-laden. Money, on the other hand, is typically full of germs. Urine-soaked money probably needs less disinfectant than regular money!

1. You don't know Jim. He's icky.

2. I'm still not gonna touch it.

I've heard of looking for the silver lining, but.... damn.