This 'thing' in the small of my back right above my beltline, it can go into Room 101, or anydamnplaceelse for that matter, as long as it goes away.

people who insist on trying to start conversations in the hot tub. It's a place for relaxing after a workout. Chatting with strangers about the temperature of the hot tub and other inanities is not relaxing. Hell is filled with these people, I'm sure..... I might even start being good, just in case.

Try headphones.

No.

headphones, hats and other noggin accoutrements also belong in room 101

Cameras in modern movies. You see the guy's holding a Nikon 1D (or something else obviously digital), and then he starts taking bursts and you hear a sound effect (from 1975) of film being motor-fed through a digital camera.

Into Room 101, with ya.

I've got a whole folder on stupid photo nonsense in movies. The latest was a view camera with a split focusing screen.

Hardly anyone knows anything anymore. I can feel the collective IQ of our country drop like winter air temperature as the sun sets.

I have been developing a consignment for Room 101 recently. I think it might be getting time to ship:

Microsoft
Donald Trump
The Smell of Subway
Lube Strips on Razors
Donald Trump
Microsoft
Ylang Ylang

paying for college

You mean you're writing your oughtobiography, monster? ;)

See cinemasins on teh Internets. You'll get a Laff.

Last night my kids school had what they called a concert. Let me get out of the way that I understand it's all about the kids® and blah blah blah. For the juniors and seniors who have been in band for a few years now and who have actually regularly practiced their instruments during that time it makes perfect sense to put them on stage and showcase their skills and talents etc.

But for the kids who just picked up an instrument 12 weeks ago, NOBODY needs to hear them play except their teacher. Making them perform and us listen to them is basically the same as everyone wins and gets an award! Yeah for everyone! You know who should get an award? Everyone who was forced to listen to them playing. For 90 minutes. While sitting in a dim, mercury vapor illuminated gym on folding metal chairs.

The started the concert with the Star Spangled Banner and it was about fifteen bars in before everyone recognized it and stood for the national anthem. And this is a conservative, flag thumping, war mongering crowd.

The band teacher in the past has droned on and on, for minutes at a time - between songs, about her personal philosophy on music, education, the human condition, her personal feelings on music, education, the human condition, and how it's all about the kids® and how music, and education will improve their lives and the human condition. This time she only droned on about the same before leading the band into what was supposed to be Guantanamera, but was more likely a thinly veiled ethnic slur.

There were five grade schoolers who, laudable for their bravery, got up on stage to perform solos with their respective instruments that they had been practicing for about 4 weeks. The solos were mercifully brief.

The band teacher chose far too many numbers, about half as many, better performed would have been better received.

There was one girl, a sixth grader, I think who totally killed it on flute. She clearly practiced, didn't hit a single wrong note and played Ode to Joy. Very, very talented. Otherwise it was 90 minutes of atonal cacophony on hard metal chairs.

No lie or exaggeration, I would put in earplugs at those concerts when my kids were that age. Can't help you with the metal chairs. You would look silly bringing cushions.

Maybe I'll bring my ipod and earbuds next time!

WHAT? NO, NO, MY BODY'S NOT LISTING. I'M NOT A SHIP. THE SAME AS THE ONE YOU BOUGHT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? "YOU BOUGHT, YOU BOUGHT" I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU BOUGHT.

WHAT? THESE?!? YEAH, MY NEW HEARING AIDS. THANKS. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOURS TOO.