monster - I mean you no disrespect, but you seem so dark. could your feelings towards thanksgiving be linked to being a foreign national who was raised without exposure to this holiday?

erm... yes? No disrespect backatcha but I can never tell when you're trying to be funny, but I kinda just said exactly that....

Im thankful that you didn't die from that stroke, Monster. That beest and your kids still have you. Glad that you are alive. Glad that you're still you. Enough to be pissed off about what happened to you. Its not fair. You didn't deserve it. Neither did your family. Not gonna say that it's part of some cosmic plan that is supposed to teach you something, because Bullshit on that.

Not trying to make you feel better about it. You should be angry. It sucks.

But I love you, and I'm Thankful that you're not dead.

And I miss Claudette. I'm glad you're not on that list.

I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be funny. I was simply making an observation to help me comprehend your feelings. For me, this is Thanksgiving and Chanukkah. I'm trying very hard to remain thankful/positive for what little I have left in my life. With my loss of my job as police chief and being placed on non-drilling status with the Guard, I have lost my sense of identity. Also, I have lost my friends because they were all connected with my work & military.
I'm sorry, I truly meant no offense

I have been thinking about this op for a couple of days now, and want to respond to the bit about how everyone doesnt just all of a sudden feel thankful just cause its a holiday. Maybe not everyone does, but i think the vast majority need and enjoy the reminder to be thankful for the good things they have in life. Even those of us not in the US are reminded to pause for a moment and just forget our first world problems and be grateful for our first world gifts.

No offence, but we all need reminders now and then. Monster, i too am grateful you're not dead. Seriously, who else could i count on to challenge my thinking around here? (No offence to the rest of you either. You know what i'm talking about).

I get it, monster. Most people do need the reminder, but unfortunately a lot of people don't actually benefit from it. It throws the hypocrisy into high relief for you, like how seeing a jackass driver is way worse if you happen to see him coming out of a church parking lot.

I feel your pain. I can't tell you that you'll ever feel differently about such a major medical catastrophe. It took probably 3 years before there were ever individual days when I didn't feel pissed, and there are still days when I feel just as pissed as I did in the beginning. I haven't checked in with classic recently enough to know his current pissed-to-not-pissed ratio, but I know for sure there are still plenty of the first kind for him. But sometimes it can make it a tiny bit better just to know that it's totally okay to be pissed. Being pissed is a healthier response than being sad and giving up.

If my only exposure to Thanksgiving was the media's hyper-consumerism using Norman Rockwell's vision, I'd be pretty cynical as well. As far as thankfulness goes conceptually, harboring that feeling without attributing it to a God is doable and healthy. We did Thanksgiving with 35 of my maternal relatives yesterday per usual. That felt real despite my avoidance of the churchy introduction.

I'm also glad you survived your stroke and get that thankfulness is difficult to come by right now. You've shared enough of the good things in your life with us that we can see that part of you, but I've also seen what a stroke can do.

It's been a bad year. I'm still dealing with the anger about my job. I wonder how on earth I'm going to be able to deal with getting back into the job market. I'm not sure I can do it. I have no idea what sort of job I can find that won't wreak havoc on my mental health...maybe I am incapable of doing anything anymore. I'm pissed off that my mom had to get sick. I think it's a bunch of bullshit and I can't imagine my life without her. But I'm going to have to imagine it soon and I don't know how that is supposed to be survivable. I am thankful that I have the family I have. I know we will get through it together, but what good does that do when there is a gaping hole in our lives?

So I understand, monster. I love you like a sister, if I had one I imagine she'd be a lot like you. And I see you as being so strong. Life can't whup you, you're like the weeble who might wobble but will never fall down.

I don't know how to say anything right. I hope this comes off like it's supposed to. I acknowledge that I am hoping for some helpful words from someone. I acknowledge that I push people away from me as a form of self-defense. I acknowledge that I actually need people, as much as I won't admit it.

In some ways I am still hanging by a thread, and in other ways I see how strong that damn thread is. My life will never be the same. That happens to all of us. In the grand scheme this is the way it all works. But I don't know if what I will be left with will be 'more' or 'less' of me.

Work is weird, we put so much of ourselves on the line every day committing to something we may have mixed feelings about... I feel like I lose balance. My cousin is on administrative leave along with his supervisor and cow-orker for a likely non-existent ultimately unprovable action. Full pay to sit around the house feeling sorry for himself. He is going nutso. Neither of us is really cut out to be part of a large organization yet we both are. Conforming to others expectations may be my ultimate problem. I've wandered off target but I'm thinking of your situation IM.

I am irritated about the whole Black Friday thing.
eBay, amazon etc.
I have no doubt that the majority of their market is in the US and therefore they follow US shopping trends. But I don't like the idea of a crash after a celebration I was barely aware of. It's like having a hangover without the booze.

And because I do not live in the US and P&P prices from there are prohibitive if they even exist at all, I have no retail therapy to salve my angst.

I do hear you Monster. I'm never going to be the same. The difference is wasn't that keen on who and where I was anyway and I played with dangerous odds.

I thought I was in hell this time last year.
I wasn't.
Things got worse.
If I can be thankful for anything it's that being alive seemed unlikely at some points but. Praise FSM who chose to listen to me rather than those in the Phillipines.
This time last year Brianna was alive.
How can I weigh anything against that and come up with a positive?

In the end there are no checks and balances.
No nebulous entity to thank or curse. Just those you can see or touch minds with.

Im not thankful for my thinning hair. I'm not thankful for my tinnitus. I'm not thankful for my fibro (undiagnosed, but I am in constant state of soreness). I'm not thankful for my insomnia. I'm not thankful for my brothers not talking to me for the past year and a half. I'm especially not thankful that they (and their wives) have ignored my mother for all this time, as well. I'm not thankful that my Mother lives so far away and is getting older and still cant make up her mind to move closer to me, so that I can take care of her.

BUT, I am thankful, always thankful, that I have a future in which to maybe change these some of these things.

You've got plenty to be thankful for, every fucking one of you.

Thats what i said Bruce! Without the graphics of course.

:D "...large men from rival cities trying to hurt each other..."