http://www.wilton.com/idea/Pumpkin-Man-Cupcake

The pumpkin god has spoken

I have never eaten anything whilst sitting on any type of toilet.

On the other hand...I have uneaten some things whilst sitting on a toilet.:vomitblu:

dunno where you are relative to Lexington, but they appear to have an asian grocery there, and that's what you need to get durian in these/those parts.

you go get one. sit on a chair in the kitchen and have some durian. close your eyes as you're having a bite, breathe deeply as you eat a piece of that creamy flesh.

then come back here and tell me how far off you find ZenGum's description.

*Disclaimer*

I have not eaten durian. The "custard-on-the-toilet" phrase was used (independently) by two people I know who have.

I also know durian is banned from many hotels and forms of public transport in S.E. Asia.


ETA: Of course, if you want a really good durian, you want one that's already been eaten and shat out by an elephant.
http://www.soshiok.com/article/13783

kopi luwak of the gods!

omg.

edited to add the omg and to say I just now read the article. kopi luwak indeed. It beggars the imagination to think of one of those durians anywhere in any gastrointestinal tract. They are uncomfortable to hold in my hand, much less manipulate peristallically. I call bullshit. so to speak.

1. Find some weird, rare and preferably gross substance.
2. Charge $1,000 a kilo
3. Start a rumour about it being an aphrodisiac.

Ka-ching, baby.

The rare pit of the carrion flower can be consumed to great aphrodisiactic effects now on sale for 1 dollar a gram
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrion_flower

To be clear, this doesn't ehance performance, just desire. What guy needs that?

OK, is this a roofie... or maybe one of those, "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms".