I can be envious of what someone else has attained or achieved while being happy for them and their accomplishment without fear entering into it because it's a matter of respect.

Which is respect derived from?

I don't know enough about emotions to get to into it. I learned that association from a recovered alcoholic.

FTW!

bwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

your already not a truly abusive person for one simply reason: you are able to recognize your own potentially hurtful behaviors, which means you can see it from the other side's point of view.

now its not that i am the master of experience, far from it, but i am pretty sure most people deal with all of the same crap - feeling jealous, feeling under-appreciated & un-admired, times where the relationship serves as more stress then a haven, anger, annoyance, self sacrifice tied with resentment & selfishness tied with guilt, etc... just to name a few. regardless, all the crap that drives people towards abuse is there in... well, humans.

so i think the question is: how good are you at taking care of your own crap before you let it hurt the people you love?

so i think the question is: how good are you at taking care of your own crap before you let it hurt the people you love?

horrible

so figure out what psychological tools are you missing to deal with it on your own turf, build them, and go back to the game.