oh, my. I'm sorry to hear it.

I like you, footy. I think you're swell. Take some time and think and breathe and de-compress. Divorce isn't the heaven some people think it is....get some time and space.

Take a deep breath. . . then a few more. There is so much to think about before going there. Bri has it right - it is not the heaven some think it is. It creates a whole new host of problems - just a couple -2 households, double all bills -split time with/without kids, parenting...

aw fuck, bro.

I should have a bunch of advice for you, but I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing or why anymore. Would not go back if given the chance at this point, but if I could go back in time and fix it before the damage was irreparable, I'd do that foshizzle. Whatever you decide to do, and if you want to, count on me when you need to talk to someone. I'll email my cell #, call me anytime.

Good times is what! You have teh skillz to find somebody who actually likes you and stuff. Your time is now if it isn't already. So it will be with footer, after a time.

:grouphug: for the pains.

That's all I know.

I wonder if she does something at her mother's which she is ashamed of. Causing an argument with you may justify her behavior at her mother's. Or perhaps she is upset that you all get along well without her. Just thinking.

Dr. Gravdigr prescribes weed. In copious quantities.

Maybe you could try giving her some alone-time when she returns from MIL's? You know give her time to unwind, decompress?

I don't know what to say, brother.

There is real pain in your voice and that hurts me to hear it. Not like your shoulder which was painful but had a "solution". Part of me wants (urgently) to *fix* this for you and yours. Ha... I know I can't fix it. Furthermore, you know how to "fix" it, if it is "fixable" at all. Buddy, you've put me in a difficult position here!

So, I'll listen instead. That I can do and do well. Talk on, and if you accidentally say a question I *can* answer, my inner fixer will leap at the opportunity. He knows a lot about this stuff. For now, he's safely gagged. Please, continue.

Is she aware that this is a 'dealbreaker'? Have any solutions been discussed or thrown out there?

I'm sorry foot. You are a good guy, and don't deserve this. I don't have any advice for you. I just hope it all works out and you can avoid the divorce. I've seen people manage divorce well, and come out the other side much better off and happier. I've also seen people really get destroyed by it. The financial side of divorce can be absolutely devastating for everyone involved, especially when kids are involved. I'm not saying you should stay in a bad marriage to save a buck, but you should try everything to save it before you cross that bridge.

Hey, thanks everyone for the outpouring of love and empathy.

I talked to my brain tightener today about it and have some strategies in place. Need some more time to cool off and clarify before I can talk about it.

The only Q I can get to right now is that this lasts for a few days, varies in severity and has been going on for as long as I've known her.

There are mitigating circumstances, and countless promises to deal with it and a belief that she is dealing with it, but I think it is not enough.

more later.

good luck, yard.

I recently heard about an elderly couple that were getting a divorce. He's 99 and she's 95.

Someone asked them why they want to get a divorce after being married so long.

They said, "We wanted to wait until the kids were dead."

@ glatt: I once asked a lawyer why is divorce so expensive? Ha answered, Because it's worth it.

and then I laughed.

and HLJ, that is one of my favorite jokes

Love is grand.

Divorce is ten grand.