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-   -   I have always admired people who are genuinely social (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=23445)

Cloud 08-29-2010 03:07 PM

introverts can get along with other people, and work as a team to get things done just fine. I don't equate introversion with lack of social skills, shyness, or dysfunction. It's a natural inclination toward an inward focus.

skysidhe 08-29-2010 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble (Post 679213)
Are extroverts superior, and introverts inferior? No. But to be blunt, the introverts are only able to get away with it because of the modern social constructs already formed by the extroverts.

If our world went post-apocalyptic, the ability to work together and relate to one another would be absolutely paramount to survival, as it was in earlier stages of our race's history. And you may believe that extroversion is nothing more than "flighty yapping," but it's more than that. An extension of an extrovert's ability to relate to people is, I believe, a better ability to discern--faster and more accurately--who is trustworthy. An introvert trusts their inner circle, true, but only after careful consideration and time: they require lots of evidence to make their decision, and in my experience, introverts are still more likely to get suckered by people who turn out not to be trustworthy. It is not that an extrovert inherently trusts everyone (i.e., is friends with everyone,) but rather that they are better at determining through quick assessment who is, and is not, trustworthy. They are not cautious and awkward around strangers because, among other things, they have already figured out what they need to know about these people (or they know they soon will.) They are confident in their assessment, and not worried about, for example, what the other person thinks of them.

Introverts have their own skillset, to be sure: they can usually bring more focus and dedication to a problem, and they often have deeper insights into certain (non-human) issues. But though the modern institutions of our society have automated things to make it almost invisible, the fact remains that the extroverts are still, effectively, protecting the introverts, just as they have in past ages. Don't think so? I guarantee you that an extrovert runs the company that employs you. Every major company that ever successfully provided goods and services was started by an extrovert--who knew how to hire the right introverts for their innovation. It takes a wise extrovert to know that he needs the introvert... but the opposite is true as well.

wow..I respectfully disagree. It's hard to know where to start. I believe you are wrong in your assumptions.

Introverts can be empathetic, gregarious, run businesses and gauge human character.

Extroverts are protecting the introvert? by hiring them for their inventiveness? He needs the introvert to be able to what? Use him/her as the step ladder to their success?

I guess, I don't quite get your angle. "NON human issues? wow just wow

Cloud 08-29-2010 03:37 PM

Quote:

Don't think so? I guarantee you that an extrovert runs the company that employs you. Every major company that ever successfully provided goods and services was started by an extrovert--who knew how to hire the right introverts for their innovation
disagree. Just off the top of my head, I can guarantee you that Microsoft is a major company. Not that I'm employed by Bill, but still. I think you are painting with too broad a brush.

Clodfobble 08-29-2010 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud
introverts can get along with other people, and work as a team to get things done just fine.

Introverts can be part of a team, but they are not going to go out and form the team. What's more, even as part of a team they have limits that the extroverts aren't going to have. In a modern workplace environment, for example, these limits will probably never be tested. But at some point the strain of prolonged social requirements would take their toll. Several introverts in this thread have already talked about requiring time to recuperate after periods of social interaction. What if they couldn't have that downtime? Ever? Every introvert's line is going to be in a different place on this, but the more strenuous the circumstances, and the more social interaction required, the more introverts would fall by the wayside while the extroverts soldiered on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud
I don't equate introversion with lack of social skills, shyness, or dysfunction. It's a natural inclination toward an inward focus.

I don't equate it with dysfunction. It's a different way of operating, and one that can be afforded in the modern world. I do, however, equate it with the traditional definition of shyness, which is to say, introverts prefer not to be overly social with people, and are uncomfortable in such situations. Whether part of that is a lack of social skills depends on the person--you certainly can have an introvert who is completely comfortable with people, just prefers to be away from them. Lookout seems to be saying this fits his personality. For me, I find that I am naturally an introvert, who has a very finely honed extrovert "persona," such that I can switch modes and perform flawlessly as needed, yet left to my own devices I will revert back to my introversion.

It's kind of like you're defending the brilliant but lightweight academic, and I'm pointing out that the brute football player is still going to be the one who can defend his family from a mugger. Both skillsets, introversion and extroversion, are needed and useful in the modern world. But if push ever came to shove, the extroverts would survive better and in greater numbers than the introverts. On the one hand you say that introversion is "just different" and "different is okay," yet at the same time you made it pretty clear you think extroverts are inferior, or at least, insufferably annoying. That's all I was taking exception with, the idea that extroversion offered no usefulness in and of itself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by skysidhe
Introverts can be empathetic, gregarious, run businesses and gauge human character.

Never said they couldn't. In fact, I think that in the end introverts are capable of being more empathetic than extroverts. As far as being gregarious, yes, they certainly can do that--again, in the context of their close friends. They're not incapable of gauging human character, but they are less confident at it, and more careful about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud
disagree. Just off the top of my head, I can guarantee you that Microsoft is a major company.

People think Bill Gates must be an introvert because he's a computer geek. But I've seen Bill Gates speak to a crowd of thousands, and it's my personal opinion that he's not an introvert. Or at least, he has the ability to perform as an extrovert, either the way lookout does, the way I do, or perhaps some completely different way. Of course the only way to know would be to ask him. Almost no one is entirely one way or the other; most fall somewhere in between. All I'm saying is that there is an inherent importance to the skills of an extrovert, and it's foolish to write them off as unecessary. You should always admire people who have skills you don't have, no matter what those skills are.

HungLikeJesus 08-29-2010 06:34 PM

Most of the good martial artists that I know are introverts.

I've no idea about football players.

xoxoxoBruce 08-29-2010 07:20 PM

Extroverts seem to be the ones getting things started, leaving it to the introverts to do the detailed work. It takes both, to inspire, organize, and do a thorough job.

That said, we're dividing everyone into two categories, and that's not valid.

skysidhe 08-29-2010 08:23 PM

Nice summary.

While doing the dishes, I was chuckling to myself wondering, if I ever need car repairs,to get my car(or anything)started, if I should call an extrovert.hehehe joking!

Aliantha 08-29-2010 08:40 PM

It seems pretty clear that most of us are a bit of both as far as extrovert and introvert goes. In large part, it's because we're all different, and find different things comfortable while others we're more nervous about. Mostly this is due to social conditioning and also at times (speaking for myself) due to health issues etc.

I wouldn't say either is more important or valuable to society. If we all spoke at once all the time, imagine the mess we'd be in then. I'd also like to point out that extroverts aren't just noisy people. Sometimes the extrovert has the least to say of anyone, but there's a certain charisma about the person which draws people in. Again, I think it depends on the situation though.

xoxoxoBruce 08-29-2010 11:29 PM

I heard that most people's #1 fear is public speaking, and #2 is death. I guess that would make the majority introverts.

@skysidhe, starter motors are definitely extroverts. "haha"

Cloud 08-30-2010 12:04 AM

the public speaking thing--totally unrelated imo

xoxoxoBruce 08-30-2010 12:31 AM

Really? Do you think introverts have no fear of public speaking?

Aliantha 08-30-2010 12:39 AM

Plenty of extroverts dislike public speaking too.

I guess I must be strange compared to everyone else. I have no fear of either public speaking or death.

Undertoad 08-30-2010 12:58 AM

As introverted as I can be, I enjoy public speaking and acting and playing bass unabashedly on stage.

The difference is this: I'm fine once I'm given a role to play, but if I have to just freelance, forget it.

Juniper 08-30-2010 02:54 AM

I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. Sometimes I feel like I've got a split personality, extrovert vs. introvert, social vs. unsociable. You just never know what you're gonna get with me. :)

My husband has called me "socially inept." That really pissed me off, because at the time I was perfectly happy being a hermit. I've been a stay-at-home mom since 1998, and it's really hard to make real-life friends when you never GO anywhere. So most of my friends were his friends--great people but I wouldn't call 'em up to chat. Though he's always tried to get me to do that, at least with the women. We get along great at parties, but I can't make myself just call them.

Actually I can't remember just calling someone to talk for a very long time--not since I had my friend Maria from high school and a few years beyond, not since she and I parted ways in 1990. I kind of miss it. I've tried to make friends since then, but I always worry--is this a bad time? Do they really want me to do this or are they just saying to do it? Why don't THEY call ME?

But I am a writer. I am also a prolific discussion board poster. (well I go through phases.) So I guess in some ways I'm extroverted, or at least an attention whore. :) If you're a writer, doesn't that mean at some level you want people to understand you and interact with you?

But I'm changing. I'm trying to get out more, do business networking, socialize with people I met at school (HELLOOOO Brianna!!!!)

I dunno what happened but sometime this year a switch was flipped and I suddenly became Ms. Social Butterfly. I go to these events and I smile and approach people and laugh and am just a happy camper. I know just what to say, what to do, I empathize with people who look nervous. I've just decided to have FUN. Be myself. Because I'm awesome.

Hubby says it's the degree. :)

Yeah, maybe. Maybe it's just that I'm fuckin' 42 years old so what the hell am I waiting for? Someone to rescue me? What do I have to lose? Time's running out. They don't like me? To hell with 'em.

But I'm also happier than I've ever been in my life. I think that inner glow comes through, somehow, which makes people like me more, which makes me happier, which . . . you get it. :)

OTOH, once I'm done, I need time ALONE. It wears me out. I need to recharge.

But it's fun.

Except that not everybody is ready for the new me. I took the new me to a party a couple weeks ago and now the kids are spreading a rumor that I was totally trashed because, why? I was laughing and dancing and singing along with the music, having a wonderful time instead of just standing there holding up the wall, you know? No, I'm just high on my mid-life crisis, thanks!

Griff 08-30-2010 05:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 679293)
Really? Do you think introverts have no fear of public speaking?

I generally don't fear it and sometimes actually enjoy moving a crowd, but I have to be prepared. The role-playing that UT mentioned is big. I think that is why I'm usually ok at meetings.


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