The Cellar - What to, uh, do.

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The probability that this dog laid that turd on your step is 20%.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 677782)

The probability that this dog laid that turd on your step is 20%.

It was old man Clemmons.

How about the Grumpy Old Men solution?

"Your cat shat on my porch again last night."

"Who says you can't train a cat?"

The little doggy, as well as my Slick, are both pretty much indoor pets. Neither are what you'd call 'free-ranging'. Slick kinda comes in and out as he pleases, the doggy gets put out on a lead sometimes during the day, while the neighbors are at work. They let him out periodically to "do his do". Then he comes to see ol' Gravdigr.

I think he and the squirrels are in cahoots to give me a hard time.

That's a nice, plump corn-fed squirrel you got there. Fry him up in cornmeal batter!

If you're going to be putting it in a bag anyway, might as well leave it on the neighbor's front porch, set fire to it, ring the doorbell and run, as it the tradition amongst our peoples.

Maybe you could try getting some of that pheremone spray and just do your porch and perimiter. That might stop further incursions.

We got a new puppy a few weeks ago. We're in the process of 'potty training' her.

I hate dog shit.

That's what happens when you feed them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr (Post 677948)

GOOD LORD! Again with the pictures! Will you look at the size of that thing hanging of the backside in that picture!!!! What the hell kind of fetish do you have Gravdigr?

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Ok, just kidding. Your front step? I'd leave it where it is, go get the owner, not the maker, and tell him his dog left it there and you expect him to collect it. You might have a bag handy or you might suggest when you're at his door that he bring gloves, your call.

I think this will be an effective, if more labor intensive and less satisfying solution than what our Hall of Fame founding member lookout123 has offered. Hell, it might even be worth asking him if you could borrow his dog.

Your front step? Un-fucking-acceptable.

And when the owner says, my little puppy didn't make that 2 pound pile?

I thought Griff had the best idea , hurts no dog or person and takes the offending pile back where it belongs. Dogs are the mental equivalent of a 3-6 year old human child. I can never understand people thinking they have the ability to be malicious in their potty habits [unless it is to their owner] ;)

>someone who is glad to live on a 200 acre farm where cows and dogs can poop in the woods and no one bitches about it ....

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV (Post 678002)

GOOD LORD! Again with the pictures! Will you look at the size of that thing hanging of the backside in that picture!!!! What the hell kind of fetish do you have Gravdigr?

:biglaugha

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 678004)

And when the owner says, my little puppy didn't make that 2 pound pile?

Dude, you should see some of the mounds that little dog climbs down off of. I don't see how he keeps from passing out...:eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123 (Post 677753)

We had new neighbors move in a couple of years ago. The bastards have bunch of those little yappy dogs I hate. Rather than have the dogs use the backyard and have to clean it, they would let them out the front door so they could run out in the desert. No real problem except they would literally run right up by my front window to shit before running to the desert. This happened every single time they let them out for a couple weeks.

That ended when waited by the front door when the neighbor got home. He let his dogs out and they beelined straight to my yard. I opened my front door and let my pissed off 90 lb boxer go after them. He chased them all the way up to the mountain before coming back. Those dogs have never come anywhere near my yard since.

I'm actually pretty amazed that your neighbor allows his little guys to run free in the dessert. Isn't he worried about coyotes or eagles eating them?

All you need to do is convince the offending dog that some other dog left that deucer on your porch, and he'll eat it clean up.

Ha! That just might work, he's dumb enough.