Dear Kim-

Please consider buying a houseplant and keeping it alive for at least 2 years. If that works, get a dog and keep it alive as well. Then you may move your way up to a husband, and if that works....You will legally have a monkey in any state.

You don't suppose Kim wants the Cellar monkey, do you? The top of the page would look nekkid without it up there.

Call in security!

I say we send her ALL of these replies. :lol:

I've just pointed her to the thread.

Kim,

Go for the trunk monkey. they're probably not legal anywhere, but hey, like that matters....

My suicide class presenter from last week showed us a couple of trunk monkey videos. He used these and other really cool videos to get people back into their seats after breaks. Very few stragglers that way.

He would also scream "Pay attention to me, pay attention to me, it's all about me, I'm an attention whore."

I didn't actually learn anything really new about suicide, I had the class 10 years ago when it was new and the presenter was the guy who developed the class. It was free to attend (homeland security money funded the class) and I had a very entertaining two paid days off work, as well as free lunch and continental breakfast. I did buy my own morning coffee, as I am well familiar with the brew served up at the Fire Academy. One of the important things they train the fire recruits in is how to tolerate fire house coffee. I'm not saying it's bad, but they also train the county's HAZMAT people there.

Kim,
Sure. They are legal in all states, as long as you can provide typewriters for them.

Someone tried the experiment.

lol

Very funny. Thanks, HM.

This New York Times article couldn't have better timing, Kim.

N.B. The article states that "there are many thousands of pet primates" in the US. I personally would have written it as " . . . thousands of (non-human) pet primates."

game over man

monkey stew anyone?