It's not a big deal until someone cracks their head open.
:eyebrow:

I think there is a much bigger difference if a male is being abusive than if a female is "being abusive."

Really? Why so fresh? What if the female was 6'2'' 250 and the male was 5'9" 160 and she beat the hell out of him? Or if it was two women or two men? Why does it make a difference what their respective genders are?

Are you just looking for a fight?

Maybe I'm more traditional on this, but I'll let emo PMSy girls hit their boyfriends and start crying but I don't think a guy shaking his girl is appropriate.

it's not about what kind of abuse you inflict. it's that you take even a step down that road. you're right to be concerned. why does it even occur to you to use your physical superiority to make your point? because you are feeling inferior in other areas, perhaps? Does she make you feel frustrated by saying things that you can't defend or asking rhetorical questions and then expecting you to answer them and look the fool?

the why, the why.

remember abuse runs both ways like a current. ...if she pushes you to the edge and wins when you snap and pop her one. a momentary injury in exchange for your guilt and remorse for weeks or months. it's a controlling thing.

I personally fear jinx, so i'm in no danger of hitting her....in anger ;) ....but i did used to pick on my little brother unduly.....and years later still get embarrassed when i think of it.

You feel like a failure for having to resort to that, don't you?

so....own, it. and don't do it ever again.

Nope - not at all - My ex used to slap and punch me a lot - usually in a drunken or stoned stupor - I laughed at her which made her more angry, but anyway... I felt the same way as you initially, then thought about some alternate scenerios and I'm not sure. I gave you the example for that reason.

Nope nope nope. Girly girls shouldn't be abusive either. It's about respect, not who is stronger. If I were beating on a man with the proverbial frying pan while he shielded himself I am just as guilty of being abusive as any man could be. If I called him all sorts of horrible things and belittled him then I am just as abusive as any man could be.


Tell those girls it's just not cute, and it will get less cute the older they get.

Now, let's all say together: beating on each other is not a healthy way to solve problems. I don't care about your gender, your race, your color, or what planet you're from. It's stupid.

Everyone argues. A few "asshat" or "bitch" words under your breath are no big deal. Hitting and belittling and demeaning is abuse. I don't care who ya are.

I'd call it sexist. And stupid. The wounds may be different, the intent and the problem are the same.

How is that traditional??

I'd guess fresh thinks it more 'traditionally manly' to put up with 'girls hitting their boyfriends' since there may be no serious danger to the guys. This was the case in my situation - I'm about a foot taller than, and almost twice the weight of my wife. As I said earlier, there wasn't really any physical pain involved (other than the time she hit me in the face with a full bottle of shampoo....). The impact on my trust and emotions was decidedly present, however. As several others have now said, I also cannot accept abuse of a partner. Period.

Oh, OK. go for it. :whofart:


Apart from that suggesting candidates for the Darwins, does that train of thought extend to women thinking "he won't really hurt me because he loves me" or "it's OK because it's only bruises wherew they don't show and they will fade"?

I meant no offense with my statements and appologize if any were taken. As to the intelligence of them, I can only say that experience showed me that my wife couldn't physically injure me unless she truly tried to do so. The vast majority of her attacks were more akin to venting than attempts to injure me. That did not make any of it proper, however.

That's what I meant. But I'm the recent scapegoat and everyone likes to have a go at me.

That's just...awful, UB. I can't imagine ever wanting to physically (or otherwise, for that matter) harm my fiance. I hope you're not in that kind of situation anymore.

bluecuracao, you must be one of the few girls (bless you) who don't hit their boyfriends/husbands when they go on a frenzy of hormones. UB, me and a whole lot more guys endure the slaps on the arm and punches to the gut while the woman is shrieking with her anger.

All we are trying to say is, that is more of an acceptable behaivor than a man putting his hand on a woman. Call it sexist, but at least we aren't justifying slapping the crap out of raging gal.