I suggest you sit down with it, share a calming smoke and talk reasonably about how it's destructive behaviour is having a negative effect on your psyche.


Then when it's all mellowed out, shoot the fucker.

Don't cut the feet off and you can sell them for around 10 bucks. In the right places.

:D

I have no clue. Not too many racoons around here.

If 'twere me, I'd probably call the pest service, but there's no guarantee racoons wouldn't come back. Sounds like a $50 trap would be a good solution if you're not too squeamish about catching things. Then you could re-use it if you had another visitation.

Actually, this may be a violation of the Man Laws, law #13:

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

Can you put up an ad in your local paper/ supermarket?
You'd have to word it vaguely in order to avoid problems from PETA-alikes of course.

How about:

Homeowner seeks help with boundary dispute/ unwelcome visitors. If you have a gun and could help please respond to 555-1XX3, rates negotiable, references not required.

I don't think I'd want a stranger, with unknown skills, shooting up my yard.

Eat the sob and be done.

I have a sling shot and several yappy dogs. No to mention a cat the hunts 'coons for the fun of it.

Okay Nightsong...the job is yours! :D

BTW - there's two of the son of a guns, now. For the last 4-5 nights, I have stayed up late and shot them with a BB gun. They both would set of metal detectors now...no problem, but their hunger wins out over getting lead in their butts. Oh, and this is after dousing the back yard with red fox urine (don't even think about asking how I got that...them suckers are fast and put up quite a fight...seems they are not only pee-pee shy, but get mad if you watch!)