You may be drunk, but I'm Winston Churchill.

i'll rip your arm off and beat you with the wet end.

I will buttfuck you in the mouth, flint.

I'll fuck you 'til you love me.....mike tyson.

is that your head, or is your neck blowing bubbles?

your cock is assprone

i'd hit you, but i don't want to get stupid on my hands.......but shit splatters

use your head for some thing besides a hat rack

I said this to some one once , his reply " I don't wear hats , you know that !!"

How many kinds of stupid are you trying to be?

if you had another brain it'd be lonely

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

After talking to you, I know why animals eat their young.

Sorry, I don't speak "shit-head".

Were you born a worthless, slimy piece of shit, or did you have to work at it?

If I had to choose between you and "Full Blown AIDS", I'll take the AIDS.

If you were the last woman on earth and I was the last man, you would be the last woman on earth and I would be the last man.

If you had half a brain it'd be lonely. ;)

In response to any insult: "So's your face"

If I wanted to hear from an arsehole I'd have farted

There were a crowd of teenagers outside the local shop where I used to live and I must admit I'm overweight( but I'm kind to animals and sometime give to charity )so I'm not that bad a person,anyway passing these teenagers one of the young ladies remarked "Look at that fat c**t.
I thought this is not on and turned to her and told her in a voice that all her friends heard "I my well be a fat c**t but i can go on a diet and lose weight,but you'll always be an ugly cow.
The howls and cat calls she then got from her friends and her red face was a joy to see :D

heheh... not an insult, but a parry-riposte:

1 -- Did you fart?!

2 -- Hell yes I farted! You don't think I smell like this all the time, do you?

:jig: :rotflol: :lol: BRAVO!!!! I totally commend you!

If I want any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your head.

I'll bet your parents wish your mother swallowed.

You're gonna have a job with your name on your shirt.

You look just like Brian Peppers.

Loud mouth boisterous guy was sitting clear across the bar from me. Trying to show off, he yells "Hey Lisa, have you ever heard of 60 second sex?"

I'd heard this joke, and knew this was a great time to reinforce my "Queen of Quick Comebacks" title.

Innocently, I said "uh, no?"

He replied with the usual "Got a minute?"

I gave pause so everyone could chuckle at the joke before I said "Sure, but what are we going to do with the other 45 seconds?"

The look on his face and the cheers of the crowd made me feel pretty darn smug!