Go rent Bridget Jones's Diary

You'll feel better.

Oh christ, Dana, you ARE hot. Women who approach men they think are interesting give off the serious confidence vibe, too. Some men can handle it, some cannot. Go for it, I say. If you "pick" someone yourself, you are most likely to get what you want!

Its all about signals. The way you dress, look, smile, move around.

The split-up probably inflected your attitude towards men unintentionally, thinking: I don't need men. They noticed that.

Now go out and have a good time.

Hoof hearted; would that be a 1963 split window? *he asked drooling*

Dana, same thing has happened to me. All of a sudden I wasn't being approached any more. I went through phases of blaming it on my weight, but to be honest I'm over that and can accept that it's not the problem I thought it was. Okay I still need to lose it, but it's not going to hold me back.

Somehow all the men I find interesting are already in relationships, most of the long term. It's like a couple of years ago there was some sort of deadline announced that I didn't hear - "Get yourself a partner by the end of the year or face being single long term" I would rather be single than in an unhappy relationship (as I think I probably was at the time of the deadline) but honestly I would rather be happily settled snuggles, someone to talk to and hot sex.

Maybe if we wait a couple of years they'll all be getting divorced and we'll be the ones with the independence and flirting skills to clean up....?

Very insightful.

The moment I made a resolution to be 'open' someone walked in. So it's true Diana. :)

Unfortunately...no. The '63 is from the second generation, mine is from the third. 1978 Silver Anniversary, just over 15,000 produced in the two-toned SA colors.

It seems attitude IS everything...
You know...both Hubby and I admitted to having given up on finding anyone when we found each other. Sometimes, I think if you look too hard, you tend to pass over many good oportunities from being too critical. If you just let it happen, it happens. You DO have to be receptive to it, and recognize it when you see it...maybe when a person relaxes, that is picked up by members of the opposite sex as being confident and/or available?

I will TOTALLY agree with this statement.

Earlier this year, I had decided that it was my lot in life to be a single woman, and to be happy with that little bit of destiny. So, I started finding what it was in life that made ME happy - instead of trying to make everyone else around me happy. I decided to 'enter' society instead of standing on the fringes and watching everyone else, and I ended up finding someone that I hit it off with instantly - we met as friends, but quickly fell in love.

I truly think that 'wanting' someone so badly puts off an air of desparation that other people can sense. You may not realize it - and you may not even be desparate for someone in your life - however part of you subconsciously is searching for that 'other half' in every person that you meet, and that can be picked up on by other people.

That said, I recommend letting go - take each day for what it is, and make yourself happy - you may be surprised with who falls in your lap.

Kellie

85 days till the big M!

I'm not looking.
I'm not desperate.
I'm not prepared to accept a point of view that suggests the reason I'm not approached at present is because I am giving off the vibe that I am desperate.

No, it's the opposite -- you've got the vibe that you're not interested.
So they (subconsciously) decide not to bother you.

I give a vibe that I am not interested because I am 100%, completely, unequivocally, positively, absolutely...NOT interested!

;)

Another word for it is "turn on the charm." You can consciously do that. You take an interest in them -- and guess what happens next!

There is also a phenomenon noticed throughout the animal kingdom: just about the minute one she-bird finds a he-bird suitable -- other she-birds do so also, and show it. Seems to work with people too; no wonder you were were noticing the "good ones" that were married. Either the "he" gives off a vibe that says of itself that attraction would work, or there's a "what's she know I don't about this guy?" factor.

The reality is that I am not actually looking for, or wanting to be in a relationship. I am happy being single and content with my life as it is right now. Not that I have made some decision that I never will want that again, just not at the moment. I was just slightly perturbed at not being noticed:P Y'know, just cause a woman doesn't want a relationship, doesn't mean she doesn't want to get noticed once in a while :)

It hadn't even really occurred to me as an issue until Judah and John asked the question why not? At which point I became aware that a long time had passed since a guy gave me the eye :P I started to wonder if I had reached that 'invisible' stage already!

Dana...do you regret starting this thread now? lol

btw, I think Griff has someone in mind for you even if you're not interested. ;)

I'm so helpful. :D

I changed my mind. I had the coolest dream last night about this intricate game (it was much like the mystery computer games I play) but it was live and took hours and there was a really really really cool guy in the dream. Too bad he doesn't exist. But the funny thing was, towards the end of the dream, this guy took on a fellow Cellarites persona (his persona as I see it, anyway.)

Whose? Not tellin'! ;)