Some guys want to know if she had sex with someone they know or are likely to meet. You know, just to be prepared for any sniggering or strange comments. It's an ego thing. ;)

i'm far more interested in finding out how many guys they plan on being with in the near future.

Some interesting comments.

I get where you are coming from SmoothMoniker, I dont neccessarily agree but I was looking for other views besides my own and it has given me some food for thought.

The double standard thing has always puzzled me, I dont get why women are sluts if they freely admit to liking sex and have had several partners...but men are legends if they shag numerous women....even better if they do a couple in a nite :p

i think its different if the girl has had sex with guys she still hangs around and sees a lot then it can be a bit weird. if a girl said to me,
"ive had sex with 20 guys over the passed 3 years, i cant remember their names or faces". id be like "as long as im 21 and theres no 22 until we're through"

Anybody who would come right out and ask a woman how many men she has been with does not deserve an answer. That should be a huge red flag to you, and you can bet that if you are stupid enough to talk about your history to him, you are going to regret it. Another red flag is if he persists in asking "Am I the best you have ever had?" or "Who was the best lover you ever had?" Lose him, no matter what your answer is you will never hear the end of it.

Of course it is different if you are with your life partner or, at the least, with somebody who knows you so well in every other way and shares himself with you and not just his "free time". When a person has been with you for a while and you have some "history" of your own together, he or she will come to talk with you about past experiences as a matter of course, and it will not be an inquisition. Even then, each person should have the right to their privacy if they choose to invoke the privilege. If you are sleeping with somebody and do not even have a clue whether they did the entire Seventh Fleet, you might have other things to worry about. But otherwise, let it be.

I agree with Smoothtalker - The circumstances surrounding the situation are as, if not more, important than the number of partners, of course age will also have a major impact. Theres a huge sifference between being 20 and having had 10 partners whereas someone who is 40 with the same number. Then again it is a good indicator of your lifestyle choices. Either way, the past can and usually is a good indicator of the future.

What I'd really like to know is the gender of the past partners ;)

i'm jealous. my wife and i are moving to aussie soon, but new zealand sounds WONDERFUL !!!

Im glad my SO has no interest in knowing my number. I dont even know my number, I just know I dont like it. What he does know is that Ive never had more than one partner at a time (meaning I never cheated....), and I was safe, and that I get a clean bill of health every year...

Thats what is important...

I think a lot of women regret their highschool/college days... If I could ignore those days my number would immidiately drop down to 3, including my boyfriend....

Now there's a great way to start a relationship. :rolleyes:

Definition of a slut: A woman that fucks everyone.
Definition of a bitch: A woman that fucks everyone but you. ;)

As far as I'm concerned, as long as they are disease free, I'm unconcerned with the number of partners. If anything, maybe they can teach me something.

I have some questions for you all... does someone of the same sex count in your number? And what is a lot of partners for a woman to have? Is it like a ratio, where 10 in 10 years is good, but 10 in 1 year is bad type thing? What is good and bad as far as ratios are concerned?

I don't think that it should count, if you WANT it to count, then count it....but if not, don't worry about it. I'm sure some people would consider it countable...and some not...a matter of opinion.

So here's another question for the group...If someone should meet someone and they are honest with the other person about the past, and it just so happens that there ISN'T a clean bill of health, what would be your response to this person. Is there enough feelings toward that person to stay by them, or do you split? And they didn't get that "thing" from being promiscuous, but just past partners were never honest with them. Is this getting confusing yet?

Uhuh Sully, I'm confused...dont worry though, it happens easily :blush:

Anyways, Iggy, I would say same sex counts...if it was a sexual act. Dunno about a number, it seems a tough call.

It doesnt phase me in the least, so I wouldnt care or ask the number of my partner.

10 in 10 years? shit, I dont know, too many other things come into play. What if you had a partner for 9 years and 11 months, then just went out and screwed around a bit?

Too hard :right:

When in doubt, shut your mouth seems to be a good thing.

Sully, would depend on the "thing" for me and my feelings towards the guy.

I would like to say I would stay around regardless, but..well..I'm not perfect.

I didn’t really think it counted, but I wanted to know other’s opinions on it too.

Hmmm… I think it really depends on the circumstances Sully. If the person is comfortable with it, then I think that they should stick around. Also, if you are being honest with them then they should stick around. My response would depend on several things. Like how long I knew them, what wasn’t clean about them, and if there was any way I could keep from getting it.

I think that if the person got it from a dishonest partner, it would make me more likely to be willing to do something with them. But the fear of catching it would still be there. There is a huge difference between being promiscuous and having dated a dishonest person.

Not confusing at all. I can only speak for myself here. It depends a lot on waht they had...If its HIV or AIDS, I doubt I would continue the relationship. It is sad, but Im being honest. I want a family eventually and contracting AIDS wouldnt help. If it was anything else and I enjoyed the persons company, I would continue to see them but would probably refrain from any kinda real sexual contact until we were totally commited. After that...play it safe. I wouldnt end a relationship because of it.

Its a sad fact that in this day in age, a very large portion of the population has had an STD. Some are more serious than others... I just wouldnt judge someone for it and risk missing out on a great relationship.

Also, its not always promiscuity OR dishonesty. There are some STDS like HPV (warts) that are really only detectable if you have an outbreak. People can be a carrier and never have an outbreak...therefor infecting someone without even knowing it.