"I Am Not Yours"

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love -- put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

Sarah Teasdale

Mad Girl's Love Song

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Sylvia Plath

A Word to Husbands

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Ogden Nash

(OK, I'm done now. :))

Gloria Gaynor - I WILL SURVIVE!

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

HELL YEAH!

Aborting thread.. female powow forming.

I went to bed early. Really early for me.

This morning I knew if I tried to say anything I'd start crying, and I had to come to work. So I left a note, saying I meant what I said. That I care but in the end I have to care about me.

Remind me to stay strong. Thanks for your support, my friends. It means more than you could ever know.

I've known it would come to this, all along. I guess I always hoped if I held out long enough that something else would happen. Some other sugar mama would come along, or he'd win the lottery...anything to avoid having to do this.

But it's the right thing. I deserve better.

One Can Miss Mountains

and pine. One

can dismiss
a whisper’s

revelations
and go on as

before as if
everything were

perfectly fine.
One does. One

loses wonder
among stores

of things.
One can even miss

the basso boom
of the ocean’s

rumpus room
and its rhythm.

A man can leave
this earth

and take nothing
—not even

longing—along
with him.


--Todd Boss
The New Yorker
May 2008

you go, shawnee.

:hugs:

I wish you could come with me tonight.

I wish I could come with you tonight also.

I hope no one is happy about getting VD.

But Happy Valentine's Day to everyone anyways...

The history behind Valentine's Day:

http://www.history.com/minisites/valentine/

Here's a different history of Valentine's Day: :)

http://www.theonion.com/content/opin...valentines_day

lol!

Shawnee, I can't figure out what he is still doing there in the first place. Isn't this the same guy that was living there and giving you hell last year?

There is no reason to cry about enhancing your life. Knowing you, you cry only because you feel like you are hurting someone else. But you aren't. He will find someone else, and the good part? So will you. When your head is back on straight. And you can make a sound decision.

I don't tell people what to do, but I will make an exception.....Say buh-bye. It's been, whatever, buh bye. I think this is the same guy I wanted to kick in the cu** some time back..........


"Move over bacon................" (american commercial)

I can take anger. If he's angry, that's probably the biggest favor he could ever do for me.

It's thinking that he's hurting. I keep telling myself that he has been using me all this time: people IRL have told me this. All it takes is a little kindness and I think "how could I hurt this big lug?"

I KNOW it's right but I am sick to my stomach.

On the other hand, I think how crazy it is, the amount of money I give him...so he can go do things and have fun and sometimes just to get him out of my place so it feels like just mine again. I should have saved up enough for a new car by now; it would have been well within my means...but I give him money and he uses my car when his isn't running, and the food, and all the things people need.

It's the right thing. I KNOW it. Yet I am afraid he'll do that sad little boy thing and I'll be right back where I started. I won't I swear I won't but that's how he plays me.

Sheesh, I have even considered getting a hotel room if he is still there when I get home.

Thanks hon. I know it seems silly but I feel horrible and just want it OVER.

Just for the record, it isn't really about the money. If I believed he loved me, or I him, that wouldn't matter a bit...but he plays that angle FOR the free ride.

:D
Yes Shawnee, people hurt. They cry. He will be hurt that his ride is over, and he will have to find something else to do. He will be very sad. You on the other hand should be sad you let him do that to you for so long, so be sad, and get over it for heaven's sakes. Yes people are sad when you don't play their game anymore. Let him be sad. I myself, don't care if he is sad. Because it has nothing to do with the point of things at all.

You have to be the responsible one for yourself right now. :D Don't get a hotel room. Help him pack his things. Let him cry. And with every tear that drops I want you to think of everything he has done to you.

Ok I'm done. ;)

Happy Valentines Day everyone? lol!

i love me some jinx