Ah. See Momma's doc can prescribe antidepressants. and Momma has great insurance. But Momma really needs to talk to someone about the cause of her depression to start to get it fixed. And Momma has difficulty talking to intake people on the phone, she sure as shit aint gonna call United Way. Momma's not suicidal. Momma just needed to let people know that it was hard. And practice owning up to the problem. But thanks. You being there and caring helps more than you can ever know.

Keep seeking, Momma. Call Crisis Services any time. They'll get you past the months-long queue for outpatient care. You can get access quicker through them. Do what you need to do.

Anon, I was able to reach an agreement with my GP where I could just turn up at the practice. If there were no appointments available I would just sit and stare at the walls for a while. They accepted this because I could not bear to use the phone at that point.

And when I was back in Aylesbury I used an advocate to help me through issues like this. I was in daycare and we had a visit from a law firm that did pro bono work. I was able to talk to the chap face to face and make an appointment. He helped me through the complicated procedure of claiming benefits. I don't need it this time, which shows how far I've come, mentally at least.

Look online, see if you can find anyone in your area who deals with mental health. Preferably a charity. And if you can't call them to make an appointment, try turning up and just apologising. Write it on a piece of paper if you don't think you can even handle that.
"My name is Momma, I need help but I find I can't actually speak about it."

There is help out there, and people willing to give it.
And I'm not saying any of the above is easy. You will have to take a leap of faith at some point. And you might find you've leapt too far, either because you can't deal with the situation, or because the help offered is for people with less ability to cope than you.

I found that in Greenwich; I went to an Art Therapy class to find I couldn't have a coherent conversation with anyone else attending. It obviously wasn't the right place for me.

But good luck.
You have absolutely everything to gain.
And come back and talk if the world is turning into shades of shit, because there are plenty of people here willing to help. You know that. To use the Anon login you're a long-time or frequent Dwellar, so you know how we roll.

I don't have any good advice just letting you know we're listening... be well.

We're here. We care.

Does your insurance require a referral, or have a very limited number of places you are allowed to talk to? There should be lots and lots of private counselors with immediate appointments available, just do a search for "LCSW" and your area.

Momma's shrink friend gave Momma the number of one of their cow orkers. The direct line. Momma called last week and talked to an answerphone. Shrink called back and an appointment was set. It happened today. tvm everyone. Momma's going to be a while in fixing, but she has a new Kleenex supplier.

:celebrat: EXCELLENT! Half the battle is getting started doing something.

Glad to hear this, Momma. Sending good vibes your way.

Excellent news. Well done on taking that first difficult step.

Sent by thought transference

Thank you for the update, I love hearing good news. Keep at it, don't give up.

Wondering how Momma's doing, if she cares to give an update.

Momma's crying again. But it's different this time. And Momma's insurance changed so she couldn't see the same person if she wanted to. But she doesn't. She learned to recognize when she needed help and even learned to say "help me" but People just ask "how"? and Momma doesn't know the answer. But Momma always has the answer. So People are afraid and back off. Like Momma is a raccoon out at noon. And Momma cries some more.

Urgh, sounds familiar.
The usual question in mental health"care", delivered in a patronising way, "What is it you want us to do for you?"

I don't know, what you got?

Sorry, Momma. None of us have the answers, but if nothing's working, all I can say is try something you've never tried before, no matter how scary or unlikely or weird. Sometimes it's the rut itself that gets us down, so it doesn't matter what we do as long as it's outside the rut, or sometimes the tears lie to us about our options to begin with.

I'm not endorsing this nor dismissing it, I don't know. But I saw it and someone might be interested.

Depression-Busting Exercise Tips For People Too Depressed To Exercise.