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haha that's a goody cap'in
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. |
2 Attachment(s)
Yoga masters strut their stuff...
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Gotta love the Indians
President BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York. HE spoke for almost an hour on HIS future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living, since he has now become the President.. HE referred to his career as a Senator, how he had signed YES' for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval. Although President Obama was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his 'red sisters and brothers'. At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - "Walking Eagle". The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds. A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they came to select the new name they had given to the President. They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly. |
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:D
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Here's another very funny one.
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My wife liked the first one better.
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Health Care Reform
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello?" "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which." "That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders. "Normally we can, but the new health care system will only pay for these expensive tests just one time." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The folks at Obamacare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him." |
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I dunno..for me.....the politicalization of an old joke robs all of the humor out of it.
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Without the politics..
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Much funnier.
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The Republican version:
Health Care Reform Will Limit Profits - The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello?" "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones' transcriptionist, Sanjai calling you from Bombay. When your husband's LPN sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband, because you don't have insurance. Frankly, since we aren't likely to get paid the $750 we charge for this simple analysis, we could care less, but there's still some stupid rules in your country about procedures, so I am authorized to give you this advice." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which, but either way, your husband is pretty much fucked. I mean, unless you have a lot of assets you can liquidate. Stocks, real estate, your home, those sorts of things?" "That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders. "Normally we can, but I'm going to need a credit card number on file, and there will be an additional charge plus a substantial service fee added on since we're doing the test more than once." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "Frankly, we could care less unless there's money to be made. Now, will that be Mastercard or Visa?" |
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