could be an impromptu nightcap at an undisclosed location that doesn't require a babysitter, eh?

scuse me?

I mean really.. i must've missed something.

You described a situation that sucks donkey's balls and I comment appropriately. It does suck. I have kids, I like to drink, it totally sucks when you can't party when you want and when you have to "waste" babysitting nights, so it's not a thing to be done lightly. How in the fucking hell is that sarcastic?

There's going to be about 60 people going tonite to a pub, then a club...so I will just stay home, as I would have to arrange someone for the boys for a quick drink anyway.

I'll just invite him over for dinner if it goes that way....no one resists my Lamb Roast.


Was that a sincere "oh that sucks"?

Sorry if it was, I thought you were poking shit at my firstworldtartyissues :P

FSM no, I drink and have kids and early morning commitments. I get it, it sucks.

I don't do sarcasm here any more -it's too full of yanks.

See, if we had a sarcastic font - there would have been no misunderstanding!!!

It does suck, all the partnered parents and single youngens at work are like "Come on, just come out and get drunk, dont worry about work tomorrow"

Oh yeah... I struggle not to cuntpunt some of the rude customers that come in when I am sober and happy.



You know what I have noticed more and more lately? Most people have no manners...

"I want to return this!!" - I have to bite my tongue not to raise an eyebrow and say "What's the magic word?".. like I do to the little kids that come up and say "Can I have a stamp?"

My big-big boss gives me evil looks when kids are being ferel to their parents at the checkout or just generally naughty and then wander over to me and demand a stamp, or a ball or a colour-in competition....because at times I have said "No, sorry, we only give those to little boys/girls that have been good". [/endsiderant]

I bet.

"Shaaaaanks for the mammaries"

well I could have been sneaky and not used it... or are we going for an auto-detect sarky font? that could be fun....

So the manners thing is especially hard for me because Brits and Yanks have totally different rules on this. i guess it was a side-eect of making tea with seawater instead of boiling hot fresh.....

Daughter's BF was here today, generally very overly polite young man. I asked if he wanted a bacon buttie, he said "sure". That's polite/acceptable here, but rude in UK

What would it be in brit? "Oh yes please thank you I am ever so hungry"?

Just messin' ;l

My inlaws gave me weird looks constantly when I was over there.

My family is VERY big on manners, so they were amazed how overly pleasant and polite I was to people in shops, restaurants, and random people on the street.

Also, my goodbye to people serving me - "Thanks so much. See ya later", used to get raised eyebrows. When I asked my Mother In Law about it she said ..."but you wont see them later, will you?"

"Sure" is not acceptable in my house. Neither is "What?" when you dont hear or didnt understand.....Although, Tyler saying "Pardon?" seven times in a row because he didnt get it, is still very annoying.

:notworthy

I don't say Pardon. It's common. Or so I was taught by the nuns.
I say, "Sorry?" because obviously it's my fault that I didn't hear/ understand.

Mum and Dad say Pardon. I come from common stock.
In fact Mum doesn't realise she is also losing some of her vaunted hearing, and blames it on Dad's mumbling. She will say Wha?! when she's cross. Or even A?! (short a as in actress) to show she can't even be bothered to use a full word.

Infi, if someone offers you something in the UK the standard polite answers are Yes please or No thank you. Between mates, Cheers is a good stand in, or No, I'm okay thanks.

I've been complaining about how kids are rude lately. Mainly just because they don't use please and thankyou anywhere nearly often enough.

If I offer something to the kids that visit our house, I expect them to say either yes please or no thanks (if they can't manage no thankyou). If they don't, I definitely stand there and look at them till they either realise their lapse or start looking back at me like I've gone slightly soft in the head. Usually at that point, one of my boys will just tell them to use their manners.

The thing that shits me most are the teenagers in customer service type rolls though. Most of them seem to have no clue, and don't intend to ever get one.

At least I now know who to blame for this all pervasive passivity to manners.

The bloody yanks again!

Oh yeah, and I came here to tell you all that our 'little car' which Dazza uses for going to work and back and fishing etc, shat itself yesterday. Blew a head gasket (I suspect) on the highway, dumped all it's oil (which may have been slightly low already), and the engine seized.

Not much point replacing the engine cause it'll cost almost as much as the car did in the first place.

So now we have to get a new car. it wont be new. It'll just be something similar to the one we've just lost.

Anyway, that's really scorching my groove, cause it's an extra expense we really don't need right now. We are just about back on track after a pretty tight period financially, so this will set us back another couple of months at least. :(

They know.
Cars and pets know when financial fuck-uppery is going to be most effective.
Damn them.

Sorry to hear that Ali.
I guess we have the answer to the $100 question from you in the bag then.

lol...well $100 wont buy me much car, but it'd be nice anyway.

I'm trying not to stress too much about it, but we probably really need to sort it out before the baby comes, otherwise we could be caught short.

So we have maybe 2 weeks if we're lucky. 4 if she is allowed to stay in for the whole term, which I doubt since she was 3kg at 35 weeks. They'll probably want to give her a bit of a hurry along in a couple of weeks time I suspect.

Instead of using your baby bonus on booze and a new *telly*...buy a little run a round.

We don't get the baby bonus. Dazza apparently earns too much. If your combined household income is over $75k, you're on your own baby. Even if you happen to already have 3 kids, two of which should get child support but don't blah blah blah. I could go on all night. :(

That's right and everyone knows that we Yanks can't possibly do sarcasm......

Sorry about you're not being able to have fun, Ducks, but you do get points for being responsible. These are redeemable for drinks with little umbrellas in the afterlife.

Oh crap ...sorry luv...fucken shit bum poop

Uh, yeah, I was employing sarcasm. I need to stop doing that with so many brits around.

We learn yes please and no thank you right after we learn sarcasm.

I can't speak for Hebe's little friend's upbringing. Maybe he was just confused at being offered some of your bacon butt. ;)

Thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the canadian bacon, please.

*hugs bri* sucks, hon.

@ Sundae: oh it's shitty when you have to be the bigbad every day with meds and stuff. Good to catch these things early though!

Re: compulsory retesting for the elderly. I think 65 is way too fucking young to be mandating stuff like that. 65 year olds are statistically safer drivers than 30 year olds.

My mum had to go to hospital for some tests a couple of weeks ago. They sent her to the geriatric dept because she has passed 65 years in age. It's the first time that's ever happened to her. She sat there in the waiting room with really old and some quite distressed patients. Then she saw the consultant who said he had to ask her some questions. Did she know the name of the prime minister, when did world war two end? What is the name of our current monarch? What day is it?

She took issue with these questions. She'd gone in to get checked out for a suspected minor heart attack (she's fine, she was clear). Not because she was suspected to be suffering from dementia. The consultant told her they have to ask them, or the hospital will not be paid for her care.

She has now vowed never to go into hospital again. It freaked her out totally. My mum is not an 'old lady'. Most 65 year olds aren't. Many of them are still working. Many of them are providing fulltime care for grandchildren so parents can work. Most 65 year olds I know, male and female, don't fit my picture of 'old' at all.

I'm impressed at the manners of most of the kids in the service industry around here. I usually have a joke or a quick chat with them. Some of them are completely clueless, but not rude, and they make me smile.

But I've always enjoyed that polite friendly exchange. It makes me feel good. Maybe I'm just approachable like that: not coming at them with a scowl and a 'ready to be ruded to' attitude. Or maybe yank kids are just less rude?

I really love when I pull up to a drive thru and some teenage girl says "I love your car!" I tell them it's my mid-life crisis, like they know what that is. :D

Dana

Glad your mom's ok.

regarding those questions, they're good enough questions, but not as openers. the purpose of such questions seems to be to assess the mental state of the patient. Fine, but there are other ways to do that with reasonable confidence that aren't as ridiculous sounding.

Having a POLICY (I have to ask you these questions) that requires these questions to be asked and answered is stupid. It's like any zero-tolerance policy; it has the effect of zero-judgement. And judgement is exactly what is required in such situations. I hope she's well enough and mentally sound enough to realize that the policy's stupid, not her. And I sincerely hope the care available there is not delivered by rote, like these screening questions.

Bleurgh, I admit I can be a complete arse.

I partly believed it was a straight reply because when I worked in London the Americans I served never said please or thank you. But they tipped BIG. Which I preferred!
And because I see people in films or Merkin TV shows walk into bars and just say "A beer" I assume it's cultural. Not rude, just a difference.

Do use a sarcasm font though. I will also use an "I honestly do like Americans" font so you know I'm not protesting too much. :)

Dana - Dad now has to go for a brain scan.
He went for a long test at the Memory Clinic - an appointment he waited near on 18 months for (one was cancelled due to staff illness as I remember). Good job he had Mum to put it on the calendar and remind him.

They talked to Mum and Dad. Made her feel marvellous - she felt the GP had always resented her input. She had a 15 minute session all to herself to explain what Dad was like - what he forgot and what he remembered.

He knows the Prime Minister, the Monarch etc. Of course he does.
But given a list of three unrelated words, and asked to repeat them after 3 minutes he could only recall one. Not age, said the Nurse, something more. Let's take a look, eh?

It's made things a bit easier at home. Mum can still be nasty about his memory problems (as she is about his poor hearing and limited mobility) but she is slightly less vocal about it, now she knows it's not Dad playing her a trick. Just God.

By the bye, the nurses on Grandad's ward had him down as completely compos mentis. Again, he could name the Queen (c'mon! 1952?!) They didn't stay long enough to hear that the man in the bed opposite was bad-mouthing his dead wife, but it was okay because his (also deceased) Best Man was coming in to sort him out. Or that the ward was actually a film set. James Bond no less.

Glad your Mum still has her marbles.

Oh Mum's fine. And she's all there. the consultant was very nice about it. But she will now be asked that set of questions every time she has to go in for anything.

The rationale behind it is very laudible. Catch dementia and alzheimers at an early stage. But the one size fits all approach is appalling. Mum didn't feel stupid, she felt demeaned. Like the only truly relevant fact about her now is her age.

65 is not 'old'.

And it does not catch it.
Not until it's too advanced to help. Not until a specialist appointment anyway.

Can you write a book?
Oh, no Alzheimers there then, Mr Pratchett.

I feel for her. Reaping the whirlwind which does not help my father anyway.

Next visit, she should open with ...

Hi, I'm Danamum, the monarch is Queen Elizabeth the Second, the prime minister is David Cameron, WWII officially ended on VJ day, August 15th, 1945, and can we please now get on to what I'm really here for? Ya cheeky little whippersnapper.

The CMS (Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services) has a list of questions that must be asked (and answered) every time people present to the ER, regardless of the reason they're there. The big insurers have their own hoops for staff to jump through. If the chart doesn't document all required answers, the hospital doesn't get paid.

It's frustrating for everyone. The only winners are the payers, who avoid reimbursing for legitimate visits a percentage of the time.

My skin graft totally failed. Came right off with the dressing change today. So now I'm an add-on to the surgery list for Monday afternoon for a second try at a graft, local anesthetic only so I can drive home. Write an exam in the morning, quarterly evaluation at noon, surgery later, home. I'll have a ginormous disgusting vacuum-drain that I'll have to literally carry around in a little black case - the tech simpers and says, 'it's just like a purse!'. Uh huh. I'll have a great time teaching the med students next week, lugging that around.

My total-body scan was a little equivocal, too. Some nodes that look positive but may be inflammatory, since it's only 5 weeks post-surgery. An AC joint that's hot on one side only; the radiologist says degenerative, which is cool, but I've never personally seen a degenerative joint that lit up lit a bonfire on only one side. So, whatever.

I'm so ready for something, anything, to go right in this medical snafu. Going to take a nap and try to forget about this stuff.

Sorry orthodoc. That's disappointing. :(

2 steps forward one one step back, but at least you're going forward.

You can do this.
:comfort:

dang ortho! sorry to hear that, but like glatt said, you'll get through it

Thanks, guys. I can only go forward, I know. Just hit a low point today. It feels like, just let me catch a break, just one break, you know? 'Course, my scan didn't light up all over like a Christmas tree, so I guess that IS my break. And a good one. :)

sorry about that orthodoc.......you know we are all rooting for you. I really like your positive attitude. I think that is one of the most important steps to getting well

Ortho, sorry about your skin graft. At least it wasn't corruption.

that was medical humor.

When you tell something personal about yourself (as embarrassing as it may be) to try to lend to the topic at hand, and someone ignores you and makes you feel like a fucking asshole for having anything to say about it.

What's scorching your groove today?
 

I feel like the commercial with the litter and the native american man and the single tear running down his face. :sniff:

Looks like the army are helping some hippies build a straw bale house. What's wrong with that?


(Yeah, I know, that is "special" straw!)

what's on that guy's head?

what IS that stuff?

me, too.

mostly, though, I just get ignored. Maybe b/c I'm too frivolous for these deep thinkers here 'bouts with all their incredibly intricate arguments that go exactly nowhere.

there have been people here in the cellar who have influenced me, though.

first one would be Dana; Clodfobble, Tony, Pat, wolf (first second amendment loving republican pagan I've ever met), and MaggieL who taught me that no matter WHAT sex you are or perceive yourself to be you CAN be a gigantic asshole. Cat Woman taught me that English women can be horrid bitches and Cherry taught me that English women can be warm, wonderful and compassionate as well as hilarious. Monster was the first ex-Brit living here that I ever knew (that I know of) and Pam was just simply....sublime.

this ignoring thing is ridiculous.

This is a forum, not a room with people talking. It's not like you are standing there talking to someone's face, and they just walk away. There's a time delay here. If you post something, there is no guarantee that it will be read right away. Even if it is read away, it may stand on its own merits and not need any sort of acknowledgement. Perhaps a post needs to be mulled over a little bit before it's responded to. Perhaps the person who read it only had a minute to check the Cellar and then had to go off and do something in real life. And speaking personally, there is no obligation for me to respond to every post that I read. There are hundreds of posts a day by all the dwellars, and I only write a handful myself. I'm not ignoring the ones that I don't respond to, but I don't have the time or energy to respond to everything. If something is directed to me personally, I'm probably going to respond to it, but I might not, because I might see the point being made as standing on its own. I don't see a need to say "yeah, good point."

I know (pretty sure, anyway) this ignoring claim isn't being directed at me specifically, but I think that other dwellars probably have perspectives that are similar to my own.

If someone shares a deeply personal story, I can understand a feeling of insecurity or of putting oneself out there and a desire to be responded to immediately, but that's just not how the Cellar is structured. There is a time delay. It's not a room with people talking face to face.

Based on all the responses I see you two getting, I wouldn't say either one of you is ignored. Some individual posts are not responded to, sure, but that happens to absolutely every dweller. Many posts by most people are not responded to.

all good points, glatt.

sometimes I'm just PMS'ing, ya know? (wink)

sometimes I'm just bitchy. today I'm semi-bitchy. I need my meds. I DO! I admit it. I'm going to go take them right *now*.

but, really. You're right.

Well hoo haa haaa.

Seriously, the lecture was unnecessary. I feel what I feel and I see what I see and I've already talked about it to an appropriate person so really you don't need to make me feel worse about it.

Of course there are people who maybe had a toe hair caught in their shoe and you'll get 75,000 posts of sympathy and advice and cooing sounds of lamentation, and there are people some just can't be bothered with. It's certainly up to each individual to assess their own situation and viewpoint...whether they're being silly that they just laid their heart out there and they envision, after viewing all the 28 or 29 views the thread has received without a response, people sticking their noses in the air just out of spite. Because, you know, they already have you all figured out and they know that your only problem is simply that you're a fucking bitch from hell...while they start a website to bring public attention to stuck toe hairs and take donations for the necessary medical research needed so that we can finally combat fucking stuck toe hairs.
No one, ever, had a stuck toe hair before...or maybe the public is just more aware of the toe hair problem and feel it's time to stop hiding it and deal with it.

Anyway, I heard all of what you said before, when I sought advice, only in a much kinder way (i.e. not in a 'just get over yourself' kind of way but in a show of understanding whether I deserved it or not.)

But it is also a fact that understanding isn't always so understanding.

So that post was indeed MY issue, and I dealt with it. I thank you for the reminder, though.

Now can I get on with being the funniest person on the planet? Great. :gray:

I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I like you and I think you are funny. You too Tribly.

Oh glatt...you're one of the best people on earth, in my opinion.

I'm mouthy. And I've been out of sorts.

There are certainly nothing even close to bad feelings from me towards you. :)

I usually find that the 'being ignored' feeling comes from inside my own head, not from anything anybody has or hasn't said.

I remember feeling really upset one time in here, and I think the only person I ever talked to about it was Sundae. I felt absolutely ignored and disregarded, and a little bit hurt. I also felt a little defensive, because rather than putting myself out there, I'd put my eldest niece out there. In the Proud Parent thread. And nobody was interested enough to make a comment. Except Sundae. And I waited to see if anybody would comment. And they didn't. And then people posted about other stuff and their kids and grandkids. And the only comment was from Sundae, who I'd pm'd to say: ooooh I just posted a pic of Meels, go check it out.

So, I'd posted all about her triumph and success and a picture that i thought looked stunning, and noone was really interested. I ended up posting a followup a few days later, and I think someone did do a caption for the pic which was quite funny.

I wound myself up good and proper over that. But the reality is, people weren't ignoring or disregarding me and mine. All that sense of being ignored, all that hurt at an apparent lack of interest which takes no account of how many people actually looked, or the particular way in which people interact with that thread (nipping in with pics, all aglow and really more concerned with what you're about to share that what's already gone by :P) ...and indeed, the way I interact with that thread (infrequently and often without commenting) was coming from me.

But in my own mind I built it up into something hurtful. For a little while. Just in one of those fragile moods that occasionally hit :p



[eta] my point, inasmuch as I have one, is that not being responded to on a forum does not equate to being ignored or disregarded, and more of us have at some point experienced that feeling of being ignored than you might imagine.

to add my two cents - there are some threads I just NEVER or hardly ever visit. The Proud Parent thread being one of them. i also don't do the creative thread too much as it's been hijacked. hardly to politics, or technology - NEVER! I don't know anything about that stuff and my kids, well, they are 21 and 22 and I AM very proud of them but I just don't feel the need to talk about them here. I have talked about them before but not much. I could brag with the best of them. I just don't have that interest. some people, usually newer parents, want to post pics of every thing junior has ever done - ok. but I'm not really into it. It seems like a competition and frankly, my kids won. :P ;)

There is just too much shiny stuff in the world for me to reply wi---ooh, look, a butterfly.


And, to hell with you, you fucking Infinite fucking Monkey, you. Glossing right over, and even making fun of my toe hair issues. I told you that in confidence.

Exactly! I hardly ever go into that thread. That doesn't mean I am ignoring those posts. All that simmering hurt was entirely a product of my own thoughts and had very little to do with what was happening or not happening in the Cellar.

Because, by the same token, I don't think I have ever posted a pic of my dog without it eliciting comment.

Sometimes it's just where your head's at.

well, I DO like my dog better than my kids a lot of the time...

:)

I found out today that I fell just $200 short of wages earned in a certain qualifying quarter or phase of the moon or whatever, of being eligible for unemployment benefits. :mad:

Why, oh why, couldn't I have been more of a forward-thinking cheating scoundrel, and padded my time sheet during some of those lean weeks? I could be paying my mortgage right now! Instead of getting my nerve up to call the bank and explain why I'm going to be late. :mad2:

This whole job thing just doesn't seem to be working out for me. Every place that I've done freelance work loves having me there, but can't afford to hire anyone full time. Then, some shit hits some fan and they can't afford to keep their freelancers. So, screw work, I'm becoming a Welfare Queen. I probably won't be able to keep my house, but c'est la vie. I'll be driving a Cadillac!

Groan... I'm sorry for you plight.

But if you do have to drive a Cadillac,
be sure it's a pink convertible,
and enjoy the wind in your hair. ;)

Thanks, Lamplighter. I will, as long as the gas doesn't run out!

That's awful, I'm so sorry. To be so close ...!!
Wish I had some solution, or some words to help ... :(

Aww, orthodoc. This dumb crap is not anywhere near comparable to going through chemo and dealing with cancer...thank you for your kind thoughts.

Besides, everything will be fine once my platinum EBT card comes in the mail. ;)

Our dishwasher stopped dead. No lights, no pump, no water, nothing.
Being faced with another $65 service call, I procrastinated all day.
Finally, at noon today, my wife insisted I do something.
" Fix it or call the repairman ! "

So out came the dishwasher, with me looking around for something astray.
It was the same as me opening the hood of a car, and wondering why it would not start.
But finally I got out a multimeter and started poking it about.

What scorched my grove (yesterday)... this:

Attachment 42143

Long and short of it (pun intended) was up-line in the GFI.
A line (black) wire shorted out, probably due to a loose connection.
Fortunately, no fire started by the arcing.

I installed a new GFI and ran the dishwasher through it's cycles.

Happy wife, Happy Home.

Perhaps out of gratitude for a job well done, she won't put your seasoned coffee cup in it.

I think my baby is starting to teethe.

Please kill me now.