Half of us liked her half as well as we should have liked her, to paraphrase...

Sometimes it was hard when she was acting against her own well being. Couldn't be angry with her, even when she was obviously fucking up, because she was such a free spirit. Tell her she shouldn't be doing something and she would readily agree, then keep doing it. Since we never met, following her exploits here in the Cellar, plus a lot of personal correspondence, she was like a television character that you know so well, but not quite real. Television characters get into jams but always make out OK by the end of the show, or at least next week.

A genuine loss for the world. :flower:

thanks xob, closest to what I feel. I was often told off for being mean to her so I stopped communicating with her at all, but it was just because she frustrated me in that way and I didn't have the skills to really help. I wish I could turn back the clock and do it differently just in case it could have made a difference :(

It wouldn't have made any difference. She wouldn't let it. Like you, I moved on back then after I pushed in that thread to see what kind of prognosis she had. The writing was on the wall. There are sooooo many others in need who will let you make a difference for their lives that the ones who won't don't make the time cut ... life is too short.

Yeah, but you're a medical man, you can help people who will accept it because you know how to render aid for maximum effect.
We the great unwashed, are drawing on "The Days of Wine and Roses", Uncle Joe who is rumored to have drank himself to death, and old wives tales.

It may also have something to do with those who have dealt more closely with their own mortality, like monster, and those who have dealt with a lot of unwelcome deaths, like me, having a little different perspective on anyone who insists on throwing their life away.

We are not here to help in that way. We can't help from here. It's inappropriate. We're not trained therapists, we could actually cause harm - actual therapy requires something that just can't happen on a semi-anonymous, public message board.

But what we can do is provide a social network of the kind that gives people something meaningful - over time, makes them feel good about themselves, specifically because there are others in their lives who do care about them.

In turn, that's why we should care for others even if they don't want to be "fixed".

And we did that. We changed Sundae's life. We made a difference. And she changed many of us and made a difference in many of our lives. It worked exactly like it was supposed to.

That's all very nice; but, people here may be in competition for attention from those who are giving more in real life. IRL always trumps virtual for the reasons you stated. This venue worked; but, within it's limitations. That's why it's not the venue of choice for everyone who's making differences in people's lives.

Like I said, it's not FOR that. And this thread is not for this either. Good day sir.

I talked about making differences in people's lives.

You said it was FOR that right here:

Are you posting under the influence? Your short term memory and/or reading comprehension seem to be out of whack.

You have my permission to remove from the public board any of my posts in this thread that offend your sensibilities.

Render unto Cesare and all that.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start a row. I guess i was trying to process some stuff. :(

So are we all. Be gentle with each other, people.


Sent by magic.

She touched so many lives

I thought sexobon was making a comment to console monster re: her feeling that maybe she could have made more of a difference with Sundae.

I don't see how that was out of place. As someone who has spent a lot of effort helping IRL friends who then went on anyway to drink or drug themselves to death, both of their comments resonate for me, and so, in that sense, this thread and the board are doing exactly what it says on the tin.

Now, let's chill out before I start a round of Kumbaya.

I agree with the Foots. By considering the source's perspective, all the comments seem reasonable to me.