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-   -   What's upsetting you today? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=14114)

Ibby 08-30-2008 08:55 AM

whats also not good is how many tries it took me to type that. and how i can hardly stand up.

Trilby 08-30-2008 08:58 AM

so...are you drunk right now or hungover? Either state is hellish. My sympathies.

Sundae 08-30-2008 09:03 AM

Don't worry Ibs - it's just self-indulgence not habit.
But given how it might end - stop now. You'll have plenty of time to develop bad habits in college, you don't need any practice beforehand.

Ibby 08-30-2008 09:03 AM

yeah im pretty drunk.
like can't type or sit up straight drunk.
shit.
i dont like being drunk.
fuck, i dont even like drinking or anything
i dont know why i do it
why do i feel numb all over?
shit.i should probably go to sleep.

whhy do i do this? i dont enjoy it. Its downright painful to actually get the alcohol down (especially with my throat in as much pain as it already is, i think im getting sick), and i dont enjoy being drunk. why the fuck do i drink?

Ibby 08-30-2008 09:05 AM

sg: yeah. i really should stop.
the problem is
i dont even think of myself as a 'drinker'
like if people ask i say
oh yeah, nah, i dont really drink

its hard to stop something you dont even think of yourself as doing


and its also hard to type. shit.
i think im going to bed.

Ibby 08-30-2008 09:09 AM

so i just walked through the living room
and actually had a (fortunately brief) conversation with my mother


and then the first thing i did when i got back to my room is sit down and promptly fall over. shit.

Griff 08-30-2008 09:10 AM

Are you drinking out of boredom or stress? Maybe you need to find something that isn't self-destructive to fill your time.

Ibby 08-30-2008 09:13 AM

fuck i can hardly even stand up straight
i dunno how much of it is mental and how much is the alcohol
but shit
im out of it

and sorry im like posting so much right in a row.
my bad.

Ibby 08-30-2008 09:20 AM

um i wouldnt say im BORED.. or stressed for that matter.

well okay, maybe i am. bored cuz ive got nothing to do on a saturday night but play quake and drink, andl listen to prince, and stressed cuz ive got a ton of homework im totally not doing, but... meh.

i really dont know why i do it. attention maybe. that seems most plausible.god knows im enough of a little attention whore already.

Ibby 08-30-2008 09:31 AM

i really do feel like im numb. all over.
and i just almost fell outta my chair. i think im drunker than ive ever been before
not that thats saying much.
shit.
remind me that im not supposed to do this again.

SamIam 08-30-2008 10:46 AM

Ibram, this is your liver speaking. PLease, please stop beating me up. We need each other. I'll never leave you, but you may force me into a break down where I have no choice. Besides, aren't you tired of feeling like shit? I know I am. :thepain:

ZenGum 08-31-2008 03:31 AM

At first I was thinking this was just regulation teen-age misbehaviour - but that is supposed to make you happy.
A grumpy drunk at your age, Ibram, as you say, is not good.

So now I am thinking subconsciously deliberate self-harm/self-destructive/self-sabotage behaviour. Punishing yourself for not doing the homework which you know you should do, but don't want to do, maybe? Or sabotaging yourself so there is no way you can do it now?

No sympathy right now. I am hoping there might be some aversion therapy value in your suffering.
Here's what I reckon you should do. If you have a spinning desk chair, sit on it and spin round and round as fast as you can twenty times. Then go back the other way. The do it with your face pointing upwards.
We'll get some serious aversion going here!

classicman 08-31-2008 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ibram (Post 479562)
remind me that im not supposed to do this again.


^^^^^^^^^^DON'T DO THIS AGAIN^^^^^^^^^^^

xoxoxoBruce 08-31-2008 10:49 AM

Shape up boy! You fuck up in school and it's straight in the Army for you... those D.I.s will make a man of your drunken ass. :eyebrow:

Trilby 08-31-2008 11:23 AM

Don't do it, Ibby. Look at the mess I made of my life!!!


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