I have come for the friendship you sought...
Perhaps it is not
What I thought

Should we meet on another day
I may say
Go away
But not today

That's all I got

roses are red
violets are blue
I've got a raging hard-on
and it's turning blue







thanks, I'll be here all week.

Ode to the family pet

Spam is indeed good
Good deeds forever dead
Roasting over wood
Evil needs to be fed



*Spam was our pot bellied pig. Miss him we do!*

Black hearted fellow
Girlie is gonna squeal
Pulse slows, is mellow
Enjoys her, yes he will

The Job (Haiku)

Bring home the bacon
Family’s needs over mine
Sells urinal cakes

I'm going with a Limerick: (gross)

DOUCHE

There was a man from Nantucket
He was enough douche to fill a bucket
He went down to the river
To dissolve his liver
But the jug was dry so he decided to f*** it.

i'm not comfortable with that
not at all when it comes down to it
the message is as unclear as a dick in your ear
and the rhyme and the meter are shit

i’m down with that
comfort ain’t all it’s worth, I hear
might need to speak up
something is wigglin in my ear

Oh Fuck
Y'all Suck

There was a Jim from Nantucket-
Uncomfortable with an empty jug and douche bucket-
He was unclear-
Even with a dick in his ear-
Probably just unsure of where else to tuck it.

:)

You guys didn't know I was so talented...didja?
:p

Well, I guess I said I would share my poem for DB this Valentines:

Shivering slightly
Caffeinated lightly
I manage to suppress
The urge to manifest
My secret desire
For what may transpire
Later in the day
When you have come my way
My not so secret love
Straight to my mind you shove
All thoughts of joy
All time with my boy
No, not boy, but man
You say you have the plan
To reconvene
Most everything
For the purpose of
Our rejuvenated love
Thank you to god
For something quite odd...
A lover and friend
With whom I will gladly spend
All my life
As your wife

attn: motherfuckers who have stole my jokes

what time is it when it's time to go to the dentist?

tooth hurty

and when the clock strikes midnight
I sink my dagger into your plagarism

I have a hard-on for vengance

Hangin out to dry,
I'm just...hangin.

thought I'd take a stand,
I'm just...fallin,

Bangin on this two tone drum,
and look around to find no-one,

hangin out to dry,
I'm just hangin.

Bangin out a a rythm of defeat.

Where'd the troops go this time?
Where'd they vanish?

Tryin hard to stay up on my feet.

Hangin out to dry
For the last time.

Can't fight the war without
supply lines.

Leave it to the next big Voice,
hope they make a better choice

I'm just hangin out now for a time.





[eta] removed a line that didn't quite scan.....less spontaneous but I think it improves it...

Heart is thumping
Limbs are twitching
Eyes are leaking
Knuckles itching

Skin will likely
Split and crack
Shouldn't have pet
The goddamned cat

lol, like that Salamander