And still it took me a minute! :lol: I'm sitting here all quizzical faced. I'm mouthing "bart-ender? barten-DER?"
Thanks for the help!

OK:

Shawnee walks into a bar. It's been a crappy day and she orders 12 shots of Cuervo with beer backers.

You guys comin'?

;)

I'll just have crackers.

Let's have an impromptu baby shower while we're here!

I want to bring back a word from my childhood for times like this....

DOY!!!

:dunce:

lol...yeah, you sound like me at most baby showers I go to. Sitting there getting drunk, making wisecracks while the sensible mothers discuss things like shitty nappies and colic.

Hee hee

What have you done with the real Shawnee? Take off that mask and show us who you really are!


TW walks into a bar.
Ten minutes later the bartender is still listening and nodding politely, trying to figure out what he is trying to order.

...whilst wondering what his big dic has to do with it.

Maybe that's a ...... cock-tail ....



sorry.

funny

Three pregnant women were knitting sweaters for their soon-to-arrive babies, and chatting.
The first one said to the others, "I'm taking folic acid, so my baby will be healthy and have a robust immune system."
The second said, "Oh, I'm taking lots of calcium so my baby will be strong and grow tall."
The third said, "I'm taking Thalidomide."
The others reacted, of course, with horror. "Thalidomide! Why would you take that?"
"Because I don't know how to knit sleeves."

That Flipper joke was funnier'n hell.


A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you Sir?" "Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr", the man replies. The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasss on the end of thisshh key", the man replies. About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out... "Holy shit! My girlfriend's gone, too!!

Not yet, but I'm breathing hard...:blush:

That was too easy even for you, ya hornhornhorn dawgdawgdawg. :D