Universal truth number 29. I'm surprised they didn't drop "patriotic" and "family" into their name somewhere.

And I'm upset that I'm not the one flying back from Hawaii since it presumes that at some point there was flying to Hawaii.

It's sort of like complaining about lack of sleep due to the two supermodels in your bed taking turns all night.

And if it was a business trip, I still want in. It's better to be doing business in Hawaii in March than in Schenectady.

We've got an astro turf organization up here that is opposed to the removal of PCBs from the Hudson river for a variety of specious reasons that are self contradictory if you look at them even cursorially. They claim to be stewards of the river. Turns out, they are funded by the very same corporation that is on the hook for the cost of cleanup.

I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here! [/Renault]

Opposed to the removal of PCBs from the river ... now there's stewardship for you. :right:

Their logic runs, The PCBs are all at the bottom and the river is now healthy, if you dredge the PCBs up to remove them, then the river will become irreparably polluted.

So, the river being healthy now is the result of the magical, one time only settling of PCBs?

You still can't eat the fish from the river, PCBs or not. More like if we set a precedent of culpability for polluting this river then we'll be on the hook for cleaning all the other rivers we polluted.

Healthy by their definition, maybe. Sounds like they've already done irreparable damage. They should NOT be able to dump PCBs into a river and then claim that no clean-up is appropriate because the toxins have settled out on the river bottom. :mad2:

Wish I had more faith in the EPA ...

Bringing good things to life.

I remember reading about a situation of exactly the same details - just can't recall the name.

In 1999.

Almost certainly the same one. Pricks are just stalling.


Cause if you're CEO, you can spend 10 million on stalling or 150 million on cleanups, and only one of those options is going to get you a big fat bonus.

All together now: "We have a fiduciary duty to maximize returns for our shareholders. Fuck everyone else."

Read Zodiac: an eco-thriller. It's not only a fast moving, smart-ass, action thriller, but you will never look at pollution the same way again.

But if they disturb the PCBs/sediment, it flows all the way to Long Island Sound, fucking up the entire river and New York Harbor.

They made a similar case for the Delaware River, until they decided they needed to dredge for deeper ship channels. Then it was "different", and they dumped it in Jersey.

Different can make all the difference in the world.

I loved the part where the main character said something along the lines of, "That's 15 times the legal limit!" and then lets the reader know that actually, its more like 15,000 times the legal limit, but people can't cope with numbers like that, it's too unreal to get indignant about, so he has to say 15 times to get the right amount of shock from people.

And pateots as a measurement.

"Period at the end of this sentence. "

A very old friend of mine had a brain tumour removed a bit over a year ago and went through all sorts of suffering with the radiation and chemo afterwards and a few months ago, they found the tumour has come back, so he's once again had his skull opened up and the tumour removed, causing disfiguration to his face and many other indignities, and now he's going through the whole treatment process again.

The thing that's upsetting me about this now is that he seems to have lost his fight. It seems like he's just sick of it all and could easily just give up.

I am upset and concerned that he's not going to beat things mentally.

Anyway, I'd be a lot more upset if I were the one with the cancer, but watching people around me having to fight it is upsetting. It's upsetting because there's not really a lot I can do, and that's the part that hurts the most.

That's a shame, Ali. I think it's pretty well a given, if the patient gives up, it's really bad for the prognosis.:(

Yep. Its what happened with Mum. She got sick of the fight and just gave up. I hope my friend can find his way forward again. He's been a volunteer lofesaver all his adult life. He's a great member of the community. He's a loving husband and he's just one of those people everyone is glad to know. His lif is worth living.

Hope everyone that's "glad to know him", tells him.

They seem to have. I think that's the problem. Everyone tries to help, but in the end, it's up to him to fight it. There's only so much a donated lasagne and volunteers mowing the lawn can do.

Fucking cancer.

Hurting today.
Claudette. You know.

Snowing like a Christmas card outside and I can't share it with her.

And I never got her to like Larkin.
All I could think of when walking through the woods in Arran (yet to be documented) was his poem about Spring, First Sight.
"Earth's immeasurable surprise"
He was a great poet for long dragging syllables, just where they had the most effect.

Today is a day when I wonder why I am waiting too.

Good grief in a bucket of crap: i really have seen it all now. I don't know whether to laugh or feel pity for all the wrong reasons. Best to write it off in the selfish ho column, i suppose.

Been at the hospital all night with Minifob. He has an intussusception (sp?) of the small bowel, and they are monitoring it to see if it improves or requires surgery. It's causing him a lot of pain, on and off. It would be hard enough to watch even if I hadn't had coffee and jello for dinner and 1.5 hours of sleep. As it is I'm just trying not to cry in front of the doctors.

Well that sucks. Any idea how long before they resolve this?

You can cry clod. They will cope. I hope it all gets sorted out soon mate. Xxx

The general idea is, if he stops having episodes of pain, then all is well and we can go home. If they keep happening, they will play chicken with it as long as they can. My personal bet is they'll make a decision for surgery around 9 AM, when the regular doctors come back on shift and see that nothing got better overnight.

It can resolve on its own, so they're hoping for that. The small bowel telescopes on itself and it can go back and forth, resolving but then re-telescoping. If it gets swollen and inflamed and gets stuck while telescoped, then the bowel becomes blocked, blood supply can be compromised, and surgery becomes necessary.

I'm sorry Minifob and you are going through this painful, upsetting situation. I hope it resolves and you can take him home without surgery. Sending hugs.

Aw shit clod, I'm sorry. I'm hoping for good news for you this morning.

Oh Clod, that's terrible. It's 10:48, is no news good news?

Infi I really hope you're okay.
Things sound pretty bad. And they have for a while.

Clod - bad, bad times.
All I can offer is long distance love.
Like Ali says - cry. Just cry. It doesn't really help, but holding it in hurts more.

Do not go gentle into that small intestine,
Rage, rage against the inflammation of the bowel!

Yep, no news is good news. He woke up hungry and feeling fine (though this is also how he felt yesterday morning.) He drank 2 smoothies (which he also did yesterday,) and now they want him to eat a substantive meal successfully and see what happens (a few bites of meat yesterday was the beginning of the downfall into last night.) They also won't let him leave until he poops and they can test it for traces of blood, but for now surgery is looking less likely, unless things go south again.

Also, I have figured out what day it is, and realized I am supposed to teach a class at 7:30 tonight. Ha ha.

Hooray! Happy dance! :D

excellent

Sweet.

You're teaching? What are you teaching?

I've been praying for Mini, Clod. I hope that this is just a passing thing.

I see what you did thar..... :lol:

hope all is well with minifobblechops.

wss

*hugs* all round, Infi and Clod. Hope little one is better and home very soon.

So, has there been poo yet?

.

That stool sample has 3 legs any relation? :p:

@ Clod The poor lamb! I hope everything is progressing.

Hoping all went well and that you and Minifob are home and asleep by now, Clod.

Dads has a form of epilepsy.
It's now official and will mean he is no longer allowed to drive.
This fucks up his life and Mum's life pretty much. They're not abandoned in the wilderness, they are on a good bus route (with free travel cards) and a walk from a local shop and Church, but it's not how they've lived their lives.

Dad was a delivery driver for a publishers when she met him. She's never driven and he's always loved it. Major fuckuppery to hear in one afternoon, given this has been being investigated for at least two years now.

Me?
Got a letter from Luton Hospital after my blood tests.
No call-back. Yay!
Well. Unless you count a Gastroscopy. Opened the letter this afternoon. Was going to ask Dad to take me because if you request sedation they will not release you without knowing your travel plans. And given Mum's experience I was seriously intending sedation. She's a tough bird and she said childbirth was easier.

Second letter was a copy sent to a Dr at Addenrooke's in Cambridge. Highly respected hospital.
My consultant wants me to have a trasnjugular liver biopsy. She told me she was considering asking for one, but not that it would involve another hospital.

Apparently:
The only word I hooked on was "interestingly".
I'm dying, but at least I'm interesting.

Sorry. That's a lot all at once. :(

Hope they get you sorted, sundae!

Here in the US, if you remain seizure-free over a period of time, you can get your license restored. Do they do that in the UK? There may be hope for your Dad in that.

Sundae dearie! Hang in there. And hugs to you and everyone else I've not been able to respond to in this thread recently.

Sent by thought transference

Bloody hell. Sorry chika. *hugs*

Sorry for being so late on the updates, but yes, we're home again. He's hopping around like nothing ever happened. Of course, he just had to give the original viral infection to his sister, now she's the one who's sick. No reason to think that she'll develop the same physical complication though, we were told it was a pretty rare event even given his history of chronic lymphoplasia (there's your word of the day.)

Sundae, I'm sorry to hear about your dad and your liver. I hope the biopsy comes back with helpful results.

Sorry Sundae my Dad is on the same side of the street as yours.

Fuckuppery is a perfect word for all that all at once! :( So sorry Sundae..

I want to throw my hands up in the air and surrender. White flag. Better yet: retreat! Run away! Run away!

We had a system consultant in and he was really on my side. It was like 3 days of whirlwind meetings, about all sorts of things.

So he gave me some options and ideas...but nothing seems to be working right. I'm trying to wrap my head around all the info I got in the past few days but I feel completely confused. (I do have trouble concentrating these days. I don't know if it's mostly that, a symptom of my depression, or mostly how hard this system...in our configuration...is to work with.)

So the project is priority 1 is giving me fits. I'm getting emails asking for numbers. I can't give numbers when the reports don't return what I need. And...the other things that need done arent' getting done.

I'm completely stressed and full of anxiety and I don't know what to do. One person finally understood the challenges I face, and now he's gone, and I can't get where I need to be.

Going forward I think I have the right processes in place to make this so much easier. But I still have two years of crap to fix, and they offered me The Sidler to help...which is nice and I know he will help but he also comes into my office saying "are you doing that what about that and you can do this..." and I don't know when he knows what he's talkign about and when he doesn't and it just confuses me more.

I am so freaking tired in my brain. I'm finally in a spot where I can at least see the hurdles, but I doubt if I even make it over the very first one. Maybe I need to say "I just can't do this. I just can't." Even the swooper said that we have a lot of work ahead (all of us) and this last week...well, not like any of us can say "whew, that's done." Yet I still have all this pressure and I don't know what to do. :sniff:

And the only person in charge I would feel safe going to doesn't work on Friday.

I'm crying my fucking face off. This isn't right. I'm not right, this isn't right. I'm losing my marbles. :(

I can't quit. There is no way I can quit. I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry IM. :(

At least it's almost the weekend?

Is there some little thing you can focus on and just do, so you can cross it off your list? There will always be more, but don't worry about that right now, just focus on that little thing. You do a few little things, and you will probably feel better. Like you accomplished something.

Its the bloody stress. I'm just now feeling like I can really teach this year. I can't work with someone I don't trust. I know she's sharpening her knives because my other co-workers tell me. I'm gonna try to get something different next year to get my mojo back.

That was supposed to be empathy but then I made it about me. I'm sorry, I kinda feel what you feel.

Thanks guys.

Griff: that was empathy, made me feel less alone in hell. This has to be what hell is like. Finding out I can't do something. Finding myself a failure (in more than just relationships I know I'm not alone there.)

glatt: Yeah, the thing is that this BIG thing is all I'm supposed to do right now.

Usually I'm glad for weekends but a weekend furlough isn't going to clear this head.

But I'm not arguing out your posts. Just having these posts to read is helping me. Thanks.

Can you break the big thing into little things?

Like if you have to fix an entire database, do it one record at a time? I obviously don't know what I'm talking about.

What I do know is that I have a ton of huge things I'm supposed to be doing, and they stress me out when I think about them. So I find little things to do instead.

Like I'm supposed to be working on cleaning out a bunch of workrooms and getting old files sent offsite. But it's overwhelming, so this morning I'm updating a list that needs to be updated, and processing some invoices. Calling a vendor. Shit like that.

IM.
Get. Out. Of. That. Job.

Take your holiday or sick leave or have a GP sign you off or whatever.
Take compassionate leave. Say what you said here, that you're losing your marbles. No educational establishment wants a death on their records (not being callous, it's why I'm still being paid.)

Yes you can quit.
But fuck them sideways; make them sack you if it has an effect on anything you can claim.
Don't worry about your CV when this is making you so ill. What are you going to do? Get them to put a CV in your coffin?

I thought it was going to work out. As many times as I've said I wish they'd just let me go...I still want to hold on to this job.

My family doesn't understand at all. Even as much as it's affecting me...they don't get it. It's just a job. Leave your job at your job. At the end of the day you can remember you can go home to....oh yeah, you can't do that you are alone. AND I CAN'T DO MY JOB.

I've been a good worker all my life. And now, I don't want to work. I don't want to do anything. I want to go away and sleep for a couple weeks, then do nothing.

I'm hearing complaints over a report that the other professional staff is working on. They're all in it together. "Oh, this doesn't work. Nothing works. This sucks." Well I love 'em but welcome to my fucking world.

I'm trying a couple things, but they're not working either.

Yes, I do almost wish they'd let me go. I have no way to live if I quit. Not for 3 months when I could cash in my retirement. Then work until I'm 90. But you're right Sundae, I'm not going to live until 90. I'm not going to make it to 50.

Maybe there is someone who could do this. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's not me. It doesn't matter, I'm completely burnt to a crisp right now.

maybe the weekend will help.

I wish your life was better IM :(

Ah babba, I'm sorry.
You know that I don't know how things work in America.
All I know is this is making you so bloody unhappy.

Sorry if there really are no other options.