What a scare! But if two vets and a vet assistant all agree she's fine, she's probably fine.

Sounds awful and scary as shit. I don't think you're over reacting at all.

The lack of any other worrying symptoms is encouraging though. Worth keeping an eye on her, but if this is something vets see quite often then there's no reason to assume anything more sinister is going on.

A little added vigilance for a while, but try not to worry too much.

Our Lab went paraplegic overnight and we were told it was a stroke (didn't make sense, though a spinal cord lesion would). She regained some strength in her hind end very slowly; I got her one of those wheeled carts that let her use as much as she could but supported her otherwise.

Your dog sounds like she had a toxic ingestion. If there were a bunch of roaches lying around in ashtrays, my thought is there's a 95% chance that she DID ingest pot.

If there was alcohol or caffeine around they can be really bad for dogs too.

There'd have to be a lot of roaches, or roaches with a lot left on them for there to be much there to ingest I'd have thought. Maybe a little bit of pot was dropped during rolling and puppeh got her chops on that ;P

Maybe... I was asleep.. I have no idea what was or was not here. She has eaten ashtrays before though... just plain butts. Then again this is the dog that eats paint, light bulbs, boxes, you name it, she will try to eat it.

She is fine today. I just asked her if she wanted a bath, and she hopped/bounced/skipped her way down to the tub, and jumped in. She had her bath, she then gave moral support for Loki's bath and then they played the eat the air from the hair dryer game, bouncing around and playing with me, and now is laying on my feet.

VENTING HERE.

Met a man, had a chat.
Random encounter - I have no social life, so I thought he might be a friend if nothing else.
We met again on Saturday. Not even a date.
When we parted the deal was that we were in a similar situation, and it would be good to be friends/ get to know eachother.

I got a text on Sunday (in txtspk) just asking how I was.

Now it was a family day yesterday - 'rents 45th anniversary.
I made cakes & helped prep the paella which is their traditional anniversary meal. I admit I ignored the text at the time (cakes in oven) then came back to it after the meal & sharing day. 20.00.

I replied, but in the mean time two texts came through asking me if I was happy with the free drinks he'd bought me (what? one was fizzy water and I turned down dinner or a taxi home) and the next saying he would leave my boots - wellies - outside the Dairy Maid, which is where he picked me up from the day before. I'd worn them for a walk in the woods.

I was all churned up. Freaked out, thinking it was because I delayed sending a text. Angry that someone could be so rude with no reason. Confused because if it wasn't the text then WTF?

So I responded asking if he was okay (benefit of the doubt).
Left my phone on silent all day, did not want to be stressed out by made-up drama, but no call or text (phew!)

Checked it when I got home at 16.00. Then again probably 19.30.
Somewhere during that time he sent another text confirming he had left my wellies OUTSIDE the pub and calling me a con and a liar.

I AM SO ANGRY.
I hate being mis-judged or mis-represented.
I told him no lies, asked for NOTHING, had a couple of beers with him but nothing extreme.
I mean the first time we met - briefly - I bought him a drink.
What sort of con out to bleed a man dry refuses dinner and a taxi and kills the golden goose by not texting back?

I knew he had issues. I heard a lot of them on Saturday.
I even came home and said to Mum - he's okay, but he has had a hard time (meaning I'm not sure we have a lot in common and I'm wary).

I really want to know why he said those things and be able to refute the claims.
Because whatever he believes is not true.
But of course it is not worth it.
I met him twice and I don't want drama.
And I do not want to associate with this person.

I know. Silly thing to get upset about.
It's definitely more about my anger at being called names than anything.
And it looks like I lost my lovely peacock wellies.

Fucking arsehole.

One of our Service dept lot attendants killed himself over the weekend.

What bothers me is that I heard about it first thing this morning, and then completely forgot about it until just now.

@ Sundae: Bullet dodged. Though I can understand wanting to 'clear your name' as it were :p

@ Jim: ach, yeah I can see how that would be upsetting.

@Sundae - I agree with Dana, definite bullet dodged. The guy sounds pretty scary, frankly. Getting weird and angry after two casual meetings? Eewwww. Sorry about the wellies, though.

Yeah...there's a thought. watch your back for a bit love. Let's not add a psycho stalker to your list of worries :P

My cousin Scott is 37, and has two kids ages 4 and 1. He's just been diagnosed with colon cancer. Same thing his father (my uncle) died from, and our shared grandmother died from.

I'm not due for my next colonoscopy screening until 2015, but today I called my GI doc to bump it up to this year.

I'm sorry, Clod.
Glad you're going to get checked out.

Sundae - some people are fucked up. There's no need to take it personally. Apparently your inner warning beacon was already going off. Good job on being aware of it. I once had a similar experience. People get their feelings hurt and lash out. We all do it from time to time. Move on. ;)

Jim - don't feel guilty. You're a good guy. You didn't forget on purpose. He was a peripheral person in your life. You can't mourn everyone. No heart is big enough for that. Not even yours.

Clod - good for you. I'd be shitting myself too if I were in your boat.

I'm pissed that my cousin hadn't gotten a screening since 30 (which is the last time I had one, results completely clean.) He knew the family history, dammit. Still, at least he went straight to the doctor at the first hint of a symptom. It's stage 2, and they say he has about an 80% chance of permanent remission after treatment.


Sorry to hear about your coworker, Jim. Did he leave any family behind? Did you know him very well?

well.

Wow.

I guess this IS the upsetting thread.

I"ve a pal with a hubby who has an inoperable brain tumor; young guy, little kids, the whole deal.

Sorry, Jim, about your coworker. I've always wondered what went thru a suicides mind just before they act. Before I'd have the courage I'd have to be blind drunk----which I have done. I drank a fifth of 90 proof and chugged 60 (10)mg valiums and woke up the next day. WHY? not why did I do it, that I know, but WHY didn't I die? And that was not the first time I've done such a stupid thing. It's the drink that does it.

Sundae--the man is clearly a nut case==wanting to control you already? Usually they wait till you're married or knocked up before they try to smother you with "love".

Wait it out.

I'm still crying/missing Autumn.

This new dog....sigh. I should just name him Rebound. He's too much of everything and he's a dog whereas Autumn was a person. She was so loyal---she was the only one who loved me and I loved her. So, so much.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy, a basket case, a loser but Autumn didn't think that. I have no one. my younger son was supposed to see me yesterday but he's too busy and my older boy is just about to graduate college and here I sit, still in my pj's hating this dog b/c he chases and terrorizes the cats and ISN"T AUTUMN.

I (at the suggestion of my therapist) read her a few of my poems. She managed to have a concerned, bewildered, disappointed and perplexed look on her face all at the same time. She said, "What's the meaning of that poem?" She does not deal in wallowing. The poems weren't about Autumn but about some aspects of my life----I'm nobody's poet but they're like milking a snake for me----gets some of the venom out.


I KNOW I am not dealing with BIG issues like so many people are. but I am so sad and I am crying; supposed to chair a meeting today and I totally spaced on it and didn't go. AA isn't really helping me. It never really has. I'm an emotional cripple---merc got that right about me. I feel like I'm on a tightrope. I am useless; I do NOTHING productive save clean my own house. I can't meet the world on the world's terms. I want an anodyne, I want escape. Autumn is in the cold, hard, cold, cold ground when, if I had been more mindful, she'd be alive today.

What do i have? Nothing. No one. voices on telephones telling me to 'hang in there, baby' and the ever-present reply but you have children!!

No, they are adults now.

Ravaged by an abrasion. That;s me.

Ach honey. It's barely any time at all since you lost her. I was a fucking mess for about two months after I lost Pilau. The first month especially, I was totally unable to get my head and heart around the loss.

When I brought Carrot back, I mourned Pilau all over again.

thank you for your sympatico, Dana.

It gives me hope that others have lived through it. I know Tony has, Jaydaan, Nirvana...Sundae lost Dylan, and more of us.

It's like Wuthering Heights weather-wise here and I've only a bouncy, cat-chasing dog for company. Even the cats won't come up.

I want to go away. I want some sunshine and some happiness before I ossify. godDAMNIT~!

My father passed away tonight. Even though he was 94, it came suddenly. My sister called me from the hospital, but by the time I got there it was too late. I saw him last weekend, but didn't really expect it to be for the last time.

Sorry Rich.

Sorry for your loss Rich ,
but hey 94 is a Pretty good run

Sorry, Rich. :(

Sorry for your loss, Rich.

Rich, sorry for your loss, it's never easy at any age.
I saw my 93 year old mother on Tuesday, and without a second thought, told her I'd see her in May. One of these days, plans will go asunder.

So sorry Rich. No matter how old the parent may be, losing them is still one of the most heart wrenching things that can possibly happen. I hope you have plenty of support people around. Xx

I'm sorry for your loss Rich.

Rich that must hurt.
I'm so sorry. I know you were prepared, but my heart goes out to you.

My love to you and your family.

There is no such thing as complete preparation, only varying degrees of adequacy. Though it may not feel like enough, it can be enough. I hope... Ugh.

I've lost my father, I recently lost my aunt. I want to be most helpful to you Rich. I'm just so sorry to hear such news. My heart goes out to you.

Oh Rich, I'm so sorry. *hugs*

I'm so sorry Rich. I don't know what to say in these situations---they are so painful; even if he was 94. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you try to process this loss.

the loss of a father, no matter how old or infirm, has got to be gut wrenching.

Rich, I'm sorry.

Oh you could certainly use some sunshine m'dear :)

You will get through. It'll all shake down to normality eventually.

I think I cried more for Pilau than I have cried for anything else my whole life. Boneshaking, tearing me from inside griefstricken keening. Awful, awful. I used to get his furlined coat that he used to wear when it was cold and hold it to my face to try and smell him. Not the wet dog smell, but that smell they have when they're warm and sleepy. And I measured the progress of each day against the longest time I'd spent away from him when he was alive. And how many times I had broken down in tears each day.

It was quite a long time before I realised I'd gone a whole day without crying.

Then I went through a mini version of it again when I brought Carrot home. Everything he did and didn't, everything he was and wasn't a stark reminder that Pilau wasn't here.

I'm not sure if people who aren't into animals can understand the depth of feeling that can exist between a dog (or cat) and it's person. especially when it's just the two of you. That one on one friendship between you Autumn was a profound thing. Is a profound thing. It doesn't just switch off because she's off to the bridge (;p).

It helped me to have Pilau's picture on my computer desktop. It's always on. For the first couple of months I said goodnight to him when I turned it off at night, and good morning when I turned it on each day. I still talk to him occasionally. It's like he almost exists there on the screen. I consider that he has been standing watch over his namesake, Carrot Pilausson. I consider that he is pleased. Because he would not want me and the house unguarded, or the territory unmarked in his absence. And when grief struck me, and even now, verrrry occasionally it can steal over me, and I cried, what brought me round was noticing his face watching me, and wanting to tell him i was alright, like I would have done when he came to me during upsets and sorrows. Somehow I managed to invest enough of him into that image, that I really did feel the need to reassure him, to wipe my eyes and raise a smile.

It wasn't without moments of guilt. They also still come from time to time. The things I didn't do and should have, the things I did do and shouldn't have, the avenues of care and diagnosis I didn;t pursue and didn' know about until after he'd gone, the futility of trying to wrestle tablets down him the day before he died, the flash of frustration that came out as raw anger only days before when he'd coughed the tablet out for t he fourth time and was being really uncooperative whn I knew this was the pain relief that would make him feel better.

There are times I see accusation in his eyes. Or confusion and hurt.

There's no way around it y'know. There are always things that make us feel guilty or inadequate.

The trick is remembering that those moments didn't define what we had. And given there is absolutely nothing I can do about those moments, I'm damned if I'll let them rob me of what I had, or rob Pilau of the importance of his 13 years with me. He deserves to be remembered well. Whatever I did or did not do, I will not allow guilt to taint my remembering of him.

This started out as words of comfort and sharing and turned into a rambling monologue of my own stuffs...:P It's still so close to the surface, almost 14 months on.

One other little point: the first couple of months with Carrot seriously knocked my confidence where dogs are concerned. I seemed to be doing everything wrong. he wasn't resopnding in the expected way on a lot of stuff. And he was running me ragged. I had no control, and any attempt to tell him off or be stern just ramped up the game for him and he became quite belligerant.

Nowt quite like failing to face down an 11 week old puppy to seriously dent your sense of yourself as a dog person.

Some of that was his undiagnosed hip problems, but some of it was just that he had a natural dominant streak (1st born in his litter) and needed very different handling and strategies than Pilau had. And some of it was just that I had forgotten how contrary puppies can be.

I had decided to do it right and bought training guides etc etc.

From the moment he threw a full-on tantrum and chewed his way through the zipper on the puppy crate on the way home that first night, he hasn;t resopnded in any o fthe ways the books account for when trying the recommended techniques. If anything, sometimes I've had to do the exact opposite.

Took a while, and my confidence is returning, but it really threw me.

94 ? you must have so many nice memories. My thoughts are with you and your family Rich...

Rich, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't, myself, imagine many things worse. Warm thoughts coming in your general direction. :(

thanks so very much Dana.

That really helped me a lot.


I am very down today -as yesterday.

here's a funny thing: My niece is having her first baby (my parents very first great-grandchild) and my other sister is going to Mexico tomorrow and I've no money since i didn't budget for the baby shower as I was told initially that too many people were invited and no room for us all and we'd have our own private shower for her in march.
THEN we were re-invited. too late----all the money is gone. So my sis and I ask my dad for a loan so we can buy a gift for Sunday (when the shower is) as my sis can't do it, she's too busy getting ready to go to mexico tomorrow.

dad said, WITH NO IRONY AT ALL, "Will 20 dollars do it?"

twenty dollars. for a gift from BOTH of us. for his FIRST great-grandchild.
That's how he thinks. He's such a motherfucker.

Rich I'm sorry for your loss.

Rich I am so sorry for your loss. As other have said, losing a parent is hard, however expected that loss may have been.

Trilby - I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time too. Dana has said a lot of wise things in sharing her experiences.

To you both - time, I wish you the healing effects of time.

I'm a little upset that it appears to be a beautiful day...

...And I can't go anywhere. I'm outta gas/money for the month. That hardly ever happens, this was a short month, too.:(

Might have to start next month a week early...

We hardly ever do. That's a tough lick, Rich, thoughts/prayers/good vibes to you and your's.


:blackr:

I just wrote an exam where the prof emailed detailed prep instructions as to what would and wouldn't be covered ... and 80% of the exam was on what she said wouldn't be covered. No joke.

So angry.

That sucks, but I'm not surprised, it happens way too often. A friend has her adviser do that to her when she went for her PhD oral exam. She heard later that was SOP, because they didn't want anyone to pass on the first shot.

No siree Bob, you don't get into our private club without providing us with a little entertainment, and Boston doesn't allow us to shoot at your dancing feet any more.

Do you get to ask the Prof WTF Ortho or do you just get to hear Nelson in the background? :eyebrow: [/Simpsons] :rolleyes:

As long as she didn't cover the material in class, I think she's in the all clear. :mad:

I plan to send her an email and also go by her office to talk to her about it next week ... but have to keep it low-key and diplomatic. I still have two more exams and a major project to go. Profs can do ANYTHING they want with their courses, and this is a completely subjective humanities course. Nothing objective. She can give me a zero and I can't fight it. This is the reason I always did math and science ...

My uncle died this morning. He was supposed to be at my fathers funeral, but he passed away sometime during the night. My father was his older brother.

My uncle was fighting cancer but I thought that it was under control.

Now I have another funeral on Sunday and overlapping shiva duties. I am attending a shiva at my sisters as one of the bereaved, and I will try to attend the shiva for my uncle to pay my respects, especially since his family had to travel to come to my fathers funeral.

There will probably be mourners services at both locations Sunday and Monday.

I'm so sorry, Rich. Please accept my condolences. This is so much to bear in such a short time.

Oh my goodness Rich! Condolences..

Rich, that has to be the crappiest thing to bear. I am so sorry for your compounded grief. xxx

I'm sorry for your loss, but you need to celebrate his life and realize that he has gone to Gan Eden where he will feast on milk and dates.

That is a rough development. I'm sorry again.

Sometimes we ask ourselves how much more we can bear. I'm so sorry for your double loss, rich. I truly don't know what to say. Death seems so final to us here on earth----but I try, as much as possible, to console myself with the pain that has ceased for them and the belief, as much as I make fun of it, that they are, truly, with their loved ones in spirit (and also certainly they make visits to us in spirit in the form of inspiration, etc)

I'm so very sorry. What a roller coaster you've been on.

So sorry, rich! Wishing peace for you and your family.

Adding my condolences to those here, Rich.

Sent by thought transference

I just found out via Facebook that my daughter is engaged to the loser bf who convinced her to leave school, and who operates a 'ghostbusters' business when not defrauding social security (gets benefits for a shoulder injury but teaches martial arts and is a wannabe cage fighter). I called, and she confirmed that she got engaged to him about a month ago. They want to get married in July of next year.

I don't know how to comprehend the changes in her. A year ago she was determined that nothing and no one would stop her from pursuing her chosen career, that she would go anywhere in the country for her job, that NOTHING would take precedence over her career. This puts the final nail in the coffin of her dreams. She'll work nights cleaning (she starts that job tomorrow, as the first job selling air filters turned out to be too good to be true) and messing around at a local stable trading chores for the odd lesson. He'll work part-time here and there, indulge his 'PTSD' from some former injury, and let her support them.

I'm numb.

I don't even know what to say, ortho. I'm sorry. A month -- when was she planning to tell you?

She said she was going to tell her father and me 'when she visits' - although there is no date set for a visit. I know. A month. You'd think she could have called ... I always figured at least that. My ex actually asked my parents' blessing before we became officially engaged. So much for that idea.

Her father and I haven't even met this guy, she's only been dating him a few months. Maybe we were going to find out when the invitation came in the mail.

And just now, she's put up a formal announcement on Facebook but hasn't told her father yet. Someone at the hospital is going to end up congratulating him and he won't even know. She's linked to so many people in that small town, someone will pick it up. He's working tonight ... what a way to find out that your daughter is engaged.

eta - Damn fb to hell, anyway. I just realized my mother and sisters will be calling me, all excited. My mother JUST got a fb account. This will be front and center on all their news feeds next time they log on ... I haven't even processed it yet, I can't cope with family questions. I feel sick.

Fwd questions to the daughter. Less is more. It's her deal, let her own it.

Congrats, btw.

You've every right to be numb, and disappointed, and angry, everything but guilty. You gave her everything she needed to achieve most any goal she wanted.

Now she's made her choice. You don't approve because you know she's headed for a world of hurt, in ways she doesn't understand yet. Wait'll she hits you with, 'Why can't you just be happy for me'.

She certainly knows you wouldn't like her plans, that's why she kept it a secret all these months. Even when the dropping out of school was out of the bag, she avoided visiting because she was still hiding the marriage plans.

But realistically there's nothing you can do about it. Trying to tell her she's doing the wrong thing, taking the wrong path, will just lead to resentment, although you have every right, and maybe responsibility, to tell her you're disappointed in her choices.

You don't need this extra stress either. Don't let this drag you into a funk. like I said, it's not your fault.

head up, shoulders back. she has made her choices and will have to live the consequences. it was very inconsiderate of her to not tell you right away but maybe she thought she was saving you from some stress.

fyi - my ex and i met in college and dropped out our senior year because we had to be married. we were consumed with that burning passion and couldn't stand being away from each other. sigh. anyway, we both managed to complete school down the road. she has her post master's certification and has been president of the state board in her field. we were married 25 years before i messed things up by rejoining the military to deploy again. desert storm had been very tough on her and she felt i was abandoning the family to go play army again. she was right & i realize i was wrong. now she is helping me get through my mini-crisis.

i'm merely saying all is not lost. simply give her love and try to stand behind her. the best thing you can do now is take a deep breath and pray.