Verbatim from the 13-year-old stepdaughter:

Her: I'm very stubborn.
Dad: Uh... not really, honey.
Her: Yeah, I guess not. It's pretty easy for people to talk me into stuff.

Yeah, we read a lot to them and my favorite book is the Third Edition of Roget's Thesaurus, so i guess it rubs off. The new Thesauruses have been dumbed down, defeating the whole purpose of them.

That is very funny.

They're called Roget's Embasaurus, and shelved with books on the Early Cretaceous period.

From the 18 year old lass I had been treating for heatstroke in a first aid tent at a festival (honest), and who had been incoherent and uncertain of anything, but had now recovered:

Me: are you usually indecisive?
Her: [looks left] Yes. [looks right] No. [looks at me] Maybe. [Giggles].
Both: LMAO

SonofV from the recliner in the front room:

"Uh oh. I have to fart and I don't know which way to lean."

I love sons.

Tell him: push hard, try for lift-off.

Thor (9): I'm breaking sticks with my hands as I walk along because this is something I can do to keep them busy without annoying other people"

Thor; [more of the same]

Me: It's Ok, that's good, whatever you need to deal with your ADHD...

Thor: I do not have ADHD. Oh hi kitty (to a tailless cat spooked by us walking by)

Beest, Hebe and I took a good 5 minutes to stop laughing.

Thor: I do not have ADHD. Oh hi kitty

HA !!!

Made be wheeze/laugh a la Muttley

As I walked by I heard the mm: "...and this is the family, and here is their pet; a loathsome beast..."

"a loathsome beast" --funny

yes, funny. say.. her finger was on a picture of the pet, no? not... someone else, right?

There were no pictures, just little Duplo blocks and creatures

Me: Please stop making that noise.
Minifob: Why do I need to stop making that noise?
Me: Because it hurts my ears.
Minifob: Actually, it's because it's annoying.
Me: Well okay, I guess it's that too.
Minifob: That's not a very nice thing to say, you know.

Wow, you just got had.

Which does indicate pretty god theory of mind on minifob's part.

Did you just switch your child with mine?

tha's funny/embarrassing but sooo smart!

Ha Ha Ha.

I'm not sorry about ur ears

We're watching our friend's 2 1/2 year old today and Mrs. Foot is reading him a book about trains.

Every answer to every question is followed by Why? I had forgotten about that.

I'm in the next room LMAO.

You guys ever wonder about gingerstar61, and what she's doing these days? This has got to be the longest-running newb thread ever.

i thought I had posted a bunch of stuff in it... then after i got to a certain point, i searched and realized i had started a different thread on the same topic.

Inch: Sing the song about the guy who rescues the deer.

F3: ???

Inch: You know, it starts about the night, it's the one Mrs. H taught you to sing.

F3: Do you mean, "O holy night, the stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear saviour's birth..."
That one?

Inch: Yeah. Sing that one.

Tonight I started to read this thread from the beginning.

I never realized that Bullitt was so young.

So I picked Thor up and slung him over my shoulder, fireman's lift style, then started to slowly drop him to the floor. "No, no" he screamed, as he saw the floor coming towards him, knowing that he was still safe and I would stop just before he hit it as I have done everytime before ....but then he started pushing away from me. "no, no" he screamed again "You might fart!" So then I did drop him :D

It's that intermittent reinforcement that gets them every time. Or will it?

Does he understand that YOU are the one the deer need saving from? :D

i was playing unreal with my 5 years old [xwife's] son on my lap. in the game i just got killed which meant we got a close up view of whoever got the last shot, and it was a female. "i like her" he said. "why do you like her?" i asked curiously. "i like her boobies".

child honesty is awesome.

Isn't that an M rated game?

Look, this isn't my kid. But I do find what she says amazing, this little girl is made of amazing. Not a perfect thread fit, but good enough. Reminds me of Jessica's Affirmation.

Riley on Marketing.

Thor: I'd throttle you if I knew what throttling was!

i don't see your point.

makes it not funny. 5yo shouldn't be watching that.

joy kill aren't you?

honestly that's one area where i actually agreed with my xwife - if your the kind of parent who relies on the rating system your basically blocking harmless stuff while allowing harmful stuff. know your children's media and make calculated decisions.

sitting on my lap with my his uncle on VOIP while we play unreal teaches him more about teamwork then violence. but cartoons showing him violence that doesn't cause blood or pain? now that's where you need to stop, breath and think... and put on blue's clues instead.

I looked at the game graphics before I commented. It is not appropriate for a 5yo imo -and I'm generally quite laid back about these things. I don't rely on rating systems either -that was my polite way of calling you on bad parenting. Team-work demo? Bullshit. You just wanted to be doing your own adult thing instead of looking out for and appropriately entertaining the child in your care. Most 5yos are barely noticing boobies beyond seeing them being used to feed younger siblings -what else have you exposed him to? Porn? It's not funny, it's borderline child abuse. No wonder your wife kicked you out.

My sister commented how my nephew has too much facial features from his mom's side of the family. She added, "And people call him good looking." My nephew, looking down at his lego toy, said, "I think I'm kind of good-looking." :lol:

she actually used to do the same thing with the same games, so not really the reason.

as far as the graphics, your protecting your child from redicules things: blood? he has it. imaginery shooting? he plays it with his school friends. but if you ask him if something is pretend or not he'll tell you with a very good acuracy. the reason he doesnt like to do violence is that we've made him aware it hurts people and that they have the same sensations as he does - i've seen him preach it to his play dates. that's good parenting. sheltering him for the sake of it without thought for consequances? not so much.

as far as both he and me where concerned, him sitting on my lap while shouting duck, hide, go there, use the green gun? that's an extra element of quality time. it doesnt come instead of creative playtime or going outside or reading stories, but it is something that we liked to do once in awhile. when it happened usually it was minecraft or portal, but yes, sometimes it was unreal.

"But, Sir, She did it first!"

Hebe (before her "let's all try each other's dresses and shoes on" 14th birthday slumber party):

I think I have more dresses than the others because they only have formal dresses and I have casual and summer too.

me: well, how many do you have?

Hebe (kinda sheepish): 25.

lmfao........ my fault -when they're 50c at the local thrift store and her size/style....... but 25? :lol:

"Son of a Turkey!"

Hector, right now, playing a video game.

Not from mine, but there are some great letters here.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/babymantis/25-funny-notes-written-by-kids-1opu

art linkletter is rolling in his grave

I don't know where he learnt such fowl language.

Ba dum Tishhh.

:lol2:

Tell him he can save time by hollering "Jake!" instead.

A jake is a young male turkey.

Ima use that btw.

Then what do you call an old male turkey?

cheney?

From the five year old who says, "Nor shall I..."

"I want to wear my camouflage shirt." (She hasn't got a camo shirt. Five minutes later she appears wearing her tie-dye shirt. Hippie camouflage, I suppose.)

"The red pigeon-looking bird is in our yard." (Cardinal) "I call cardinals red pigeons because they look like pigeons."

I'd be following them around with the video camera trolling for gems like this. So cute!

Classicman?

You call an old (mature) male turkey a 'tom'.

This morning Dazza was getting dressed and Max was hanging about. All of a sudden he pops up and says to me, "Daddy has a little doodle, and I have a BIG doodle."

All I could do was laugh while Max just kept going on about it, and Dazza was half laughing and half telling him to shut up about it.

AND he catches bigger fish!

Yes, they're just heading off to fishing now.

Also, apparently Aden has a little doodle too. Max just said so.

I sense a theme developing.

Doodle envy.

Minifob said something similar a few months back. "Daddy's privates will never be as long as mine!"

I sense a meme developing.

I sense a peen developing.

Well Max has just turned three. He's obsessed with his doodle. I'm sick of the sight of it to be honest. And telling him to take his hands off it. And telling him I don't want to see it.

The list goes on.

It never stops you know.

Yesterday I gave my daughter, a nineteen year-old, a list of stuff I wanted her to do for me. "You should be nicer to me," she said, "remember that it's me who'll choose the home you get put into."

Nice.

You know, I've said pretty much those same words to my father. Pretty recently. He's 64, but pretty fit and healthy, so not much chance of anything happening too soon, but still. lol

Being the mother of two teenage sons and having a husband, I'm aware of the penis fascination, but I think Max is the worst I've ever seen. He's certainly worse than the other two boys ever were.