No idea, but it has reminded me of a good (well I think so - one of those with a re-usable punchline) if somewhat old joke.

Guy dies goes to heaven. St Peter at the gates to heaven asks his name. Guy tells him, Peter checks and says your not on the list, sorry fellah, you'll have to try downstairs.

Guy goes down to the Devil, same thing, so guy asks where he goes now. It's the goblins for you says Satan and directs him down some steps.

Steps seem to lead for miles but eventually they end and guy sees three goblins each standing by a door.

Guy stops at first goblin and asks what the deal is. Goblin explains that he has to choose to stay in the room behind one of the doors. Thing is though if he refuses a room then he can't go back after.

So goblin opens door to first room and guy sees all these people screaming in flames. No thanks he says and moves to the next goblin. This goblin opens his door to reveal all these people up to their necks in in water. No thanks again says the guy not fancying that one bit either (see Wolf, this is where I got the Hell and High Water connection...)

Third goblin says well, you've had your chances. He opens the third door and pushes the guy in. It's a strange room. Full of people standing in human excrement (OK, shit!). Funny thing is they're all happily smiling and drinking cups of tea from very nice bone china cups and saucers. But the smell....!

Oh, no, thinks the guy, wrong decision, and then he's handed a cup of tea himself. Hmmm, thinks the guy, sipping his tea, not a bad cup. He sips some more. Not bad at all, and, I suppose, although the smells a bit heavy, I will soon get used to it. And sure enough 5 minutes later he's beginning to feel OK about the situation, he's adjusting quite nicely. Just then however a klaxon sounds and a loud voice calls through the loud-speaker. OK, guys and gals, tea-break's over now, back on your heads!


OK, perhaps these sorts of jokes do lose a little something over the years....

:thumb:

= At any cost

God willing and the creek don't rise? = if it ain't too much trouble

The cat's got your tongue.


I'm guessing this has to do with the quiet stealthiness of cats?

I think it has to do with when the cat was in at night stealing your soul, it took your voice for good measure.

I heard a good one last night ... not a weird saying per se, but I'd never heard it put quite this way before.

Wolf: So, do you have an address?

Homeless Heroin Addict: I use my parents' address for mail and stuff, but I'm living in an abandominium in North Philly.

I'll be jiggered up a hemlock.

WTFK?

A friend from New Hampshire says this. On the other hand he also says with a leer

"Hey sunshine, ever been boned up the shitter?"

Then he cackles with laughter.

Other than that, he's totally normal.

looks like he's been beat with an ugly stick

I feel like a chittlering with the shit slung out of it

Enough of this jiggery pokery(?)

I LOVE jiggery pokery!

REVISION:

Can't get enough of this jiggery pokery

I feel like a chittlering with the shit slung out of it[/quote]

That is a southern expression for feeling wrung out. Chitterlings or more properly chittlins' are hog intestines that are boiled or fried and served with rice. To make sure they are clean before cooking you squeeze them top to bottom like a tube of tooth paste then (if your making them in the yard as is proper) sling them to get everything else out before you cut them up.

Smells like a charrnel house when cooking but not a bad meal.

How...... different(?!)

Reminds me of the local French sausage called an andouillette (please don't look at the link if you are about to have, are having, or just have had your Thanksgiving dinner - it wouldn't be fair to the person who has slaved over cooking it for you!), that I unfortunately ordered in a logis outside Poitiers. Looked great but was basically the roughly chopped intestines of a pig and not much else. Produced one of those chewing moments that sometimes arise when eating meat - you know, the ones that never seem to end because the item in your mouth never seems to get to the right size that you fancy attempting to swallow it.

I've tried "chittlins"... They wouldn't be too bad if you didn't have to smell them cooking. Most housewives forbid cooking them indoors. When cooking outdoors you can smell them for a half mile. I guess "once you get past the smell you got it licked" which would be another weird saying.

"Hope to shit in your flat hat" == I agree completely.

This one is best when yelled in a crowded area, such as a mall, a store, or church:

"HEY BABY, EVER HAVE YOUR ASSHOLE LICKED BY A FATMAN IN AN OVERCOAT?!?"

The reactions are to die for.

(Kudos to Kevin Smith.)