Palin put the evil eye on a farm in Uruguay.

And that baseball team from Fl. :D

And Oklahoma when they played Texas.

And Kyle Bush when he lost his engine before the race.

And on that bridge in Mn. right before it fell in the river.

God the list is just too long.... ;)

Notice to All Employees

As of November 5, 2008, when the next President is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a “fair shake.”

2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are “too busy for overtime” to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as “the government.” We will not participate in this “pooling” experience because the law doesn't apply to us.

4. The “government” will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging it's workers to continue to work hard “for the good of all.”

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's “good to spread the wealth". Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more “patriotic.”

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because our new President will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flatscreen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?)

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, feel free to appeal this to the senate or congress, not that it'll do you any good.

One question sir? Is this for the greater good, or for the good of the whole? :)

#6 Sounds awesome. I can't find a f'ing job. Showing up to clean out my desk will be the most fun I've had all week.

Hey I just got the email and posted it here for you - yes Cic you specifically! Cuz as we know the world does revolve around you and your awesomeness :)

Well there you go.
I expect Cicero never to work again, as apparently she will be better off than any of you if she doesn't.

Cicero, do try to get up before 18.00 GMT though, so I still have the occasional distraction at work. Because despite living in a country to the left of Obama's views, I still feel the need to work and earn a living. Still, that's the Brit mentality, it's only lazy Americans who would quit if they thought there was a safety net.

Hmm...You sound like you don't mean that classic. :)

I'm sorry I took any interest in reading your post, however. Nice work. You are headed straight for management, sounds like.

No I was kidding - I really was. :( sorry if I offended

:jig:

As a legitimate question, what measures are in place in the UK to prevent abuse of the system? We absolutely have a problem with it here. Is it that you have fewer abusers, or you're more willing to accept that there will always be abusers?

There are people that abuse the system. Of course there are, it's human nature.

The difference is more in attitude. It has come up before and it will come up again. Social Security is just that. The majority of people pay into it. The majority of people will only benefit when they need it.

Scroungers, loafers and good-for-nothings will dance to an elaborate tune to get what they want, but most people would prefer to work and only fall back on the system when they need to.

Now don't get me wrong, the right wing in this country resent it too. The Hate Mail has stories at least once a week about someone supposedly living off the fat of the land. To counter that, Channel 4 make documentaries about how miserable it is to be stuck on benefits.

The bottom line is the safety net is accepted in this country. And the general consensus is that we'd rather stop people falling through the cracks even if it means we have to put up with the occasional family of 13 with neither parent working (but at least they're still married!) Most people here don't believe benefits create scroungers (most people here receive at least something you don't get in America).

ETA I'm sure you know my comment about lazy Americans was in the spirit of the original post. But just to clarify.

Oh yes, I thought the lazy Americans comment was quite funny. :) I wish there were a good way to quantify abusers of the system, to discover if you have a different number than we do. It's interesting that your stereotypical image of the abuser is "the occasional family of 13 with neither parent working (but at least they're still married!)" Ours would be more like the woman with 5 kids, all by different fathers, and neither she nor any of the fathers are working.

I meant the cases reported by the Mail.
Although if you want real vitriol it's always aimed at asylum seekers, who get to stay in hotels free of charge. Yeah, I'd like to see a journalist exist a week in one of those places.

lol! Yes, I plan to sit on my lazy American ass forever. Hell, maybe I'll have a kid to get some welfare money. Because that's what people know me for. Doing absolutely nothing. No motivation whatsoever, I'm not one of those practical, pull myself up by my bootstraps people. I just sit on my lazy ass and wait for the government to figure it out for me. I don't know when the last time it was that I actually broke a sweat doing work. Hell maybe I'll get a job and injure myself at work and get to quit, with some cash in my pockets. Typical lazy American over here! Now accepting handouts! :D Maybe I'll come up with a mental illness to get some benefits. I feel schizophrenic just now, because I must be out of my mind if I think I just read that right.:D heh.

All of the above applies to the vast majority of Americans too. Our problem is that we are so much larger than you and the amount of abuse and $$$$$$ are as well. numbers wise, I don't know about percentages. For that you need a bean counter.