The Cellar: Dipped in Milk Chocolate but sprinkled with nuts.

fun with oxymorons!
 

the cellar- a neat mess...
so tainted, it's pure...
the place to exchange polite insults...
a terribly good place for working dysfunctionals to use a clean public restroom,
a serious joke...
an authentic imitation of a little coffee shop
an accident on purpose
a place for all the masculine girls, tall midgets, bald brunettes, jumbo shrimp, hateful lovers and antisocial friends.
a place to get a dry drink and a healthy cigarette. come try our inedible food and virgin martinis!
a place full of relaxing tension and easy stress.
a pleasant hell.
a place for all of you sleeping insomniacs, sober alcoholics and frigid nymphomaniacs...
the cellar: blunt as a razor and sharp as a peg..
the cellar: the beginning of the end.

Too long for a tag line, but I'll vote for it to be the offical Cellar opening contradictory poem. :)

The Cellar: A Beautiful Disaster

The Cellar: You can put ketchup on a shit sandwich, but it'll still taste like a shit sandwich

But ketchupier.

The cellar: Jump into the deep end of the thought pool. Just beware of the floating turds.

Welcome to The Cellar, the place that even Frodo's Elven light couldn't illuminate.

Welcome to the Cellar- wanna buy a t-shirt?

the cellar: sharper than a bowling ball

the cellar: smarter than a bag of hair

the cellar: a study in coolness

the cellar: we know the meaning of life

the cellar: pull my finger!

One nation, under toad...

Paradigms deconstructed While-U-Wait

Your source for answers with no question asked

Your source for questions with no answers given

The Cellar: We'll give you a name when you lose

We may insult you, but never your intelligence.