Thanks peeps. J's back over at the hospital with her now. They're meant to be doing some kind of scan or test this morning, so hoping for some news soon.

Her kids must be going through it right now. Youngest is 14 I think.

Dani that's awful.
My thoughts with you for her and for Judah.

I'm sorry your friends are going through this. If there is any way to reduce their stress levels it would help.

Just thought I'd let you lot know that Dazza's Mum died yesterday. Not really sure what else to write. The funeral will be on Friday.

Oh, so sorry to hear that Ali. My condolences to all of you, especially Dazza.




Quick update on Jan: she's back out of hospital, and no sign of a second bleed. She's on bedrest and destressing for a while.

so sorry Ali, give my condolences to Dazza and all the family.

Sorry to hear that Ali. Thoughts and prayers to all.

Ali - so sorry to read of your loss. Hugs to Dazza, you and your family.

Dana - good news re Jan.
Ali - my thoughts & sympathy with you and your family - especially Dazza.

Sorry to hear this Ali :(

So Sholder up date , the Last shot seems to have helped ALOT !!!
Sholder Still dont work right But Im learning to Work with in my limitations , the sholder will TELL me when i Mess up

Yesterday afternoon I had just finished loading up my truck from a Job , went to turn left to walk around and get in my truck , i heard POP !!!
hit the ground
and my Left Knee said " Oh I dont Think So DUDE !!! You AINT Useing me !!!
So here I sit Ice'n , Ace bandged , full of Ibuprofen's and Anti inflammatorys ,
Ortho Appt for Tuesday .

FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK !! I sucks getten Old !!!

Ali, so sorry to hear about this. My thoughts are with you. Hugs to you all.

Getting old sucks for everyone. I hope your knee will be okay.

Just fix it with duct tape, like everything else. sheesh!

Zippy, be glad it's just a case of the kneesles and not small cox.

Kneeseles ive Had ,
Now Small Cox , well You'll just have to tell me What thats Like

haggis :D

Sorry for your family's loss, Ali. xxx

touché

Thinking about this, while reflecting on my own experience.
Yeah, the abrasive ones often make otherwise routine experiences more dynamic, and the memories more vivid. :yesnod:

Dana, how's Jan going?

She's doin' pretty well Casi, thanks for asking. She's taking it easy, mainly resting and watching tv shows on the laptop in bed. She's been up and about a little, done some baking (her main way of destressing) and the last results that came through showed no sign of any further bleed. Her blood pressure is still very high but not as scary high as it was a few days ago.

I think she's pretty much decided she doesn't want to return to her job managing the Trades Club. Way too high-stress. Even when she returned to work after her operation last time around and everyone had sworn blind they'd be more supportive and not dump it all on her, things quickly returned to the status quo. I think she gets paid something like 25 hours a week, but actually does more like 50, just plugging the gaps. And that's on top of a few hours of teaching each week, and attempting to start up an amazon/ebay book business.

All things considered though, she's doing well. *smiles*

I am posting a belated 'upset' from Tuesday.

I lost my iphone 4. I left it in the back of a taxi. Not a private hire vehicle, with a company I could call, but a hackney carriage cab from the ranks.

I was pretty sure it must have slipped from my bag onto the taxi seat as I was getting out. I knew I'd had it on that journey because I'd sent a text to somebody.

Wednesday, I did a little googling and found that the taxi drivers are suposed to hand any lost property into the licensing department in town, within 48 hours of finding it. So, I phoned the licensing dept. Nobody had handed anything in. They took my details, time, place and destination of the taxi journey, and said they'd look into it.

Meanwhile I phoned my provider and discovered that my insurance doesn;t cover loss. And I am locked into a two year contract. Sure, they can send me a sim, and my monthly charge still covers texts and phone calls, but that's all.

So, I went checking online and resolved that if my phone doesn't show up, I'll have to buy a second hand i-phone 3. A step down, but there's no way I can justify spending enough to replace it like for like.

So, then I got a phone call from the licensing dept. The guy told me he was going to go and talk to the drivers at the rank. And would let me know if anything came of it.

..... Now let's jump to the happy thread :)

I cannot express accurately the amount of hate I have for my job right now. I spent a good amount of time tryin not have a breakdown and biting my Han to try keep from screaming in the bathroom earlier. This fucking place gets worse by the day. 1) changed the website we place orders through to super shitty one that is so awful most of us just stopped using it and call to place the order. 2) our ticketing program freezes 5-6 times a shift. If it's not frozen then copy/paste function will absolutely stop working I
Until you close your 50app you need and sign off and all the way back in. 3) new apps we support are so poorly designed we spend hours a day jut trying to figure how how the user screwed up their procedures. 4) they now record both our audio an screen captures of our comp during a call. Can't joke with coworkers on IM or do anything personal related. I'm poetic at lunch from my phone. I'm a good employee but this job is boric as fuck, I need something to DO and relieve the stress of being so bored. Fuck this place! Fuck it all!

ya done said that

Recruiting!!

Its all I do. I recruit, I train...then start again.

I have a bunch of resumes to read and go through today.

Recruit me! No need to read my resume, I'm pretty f*ing awesome.

Yes you are, mtp.

I'm a bit of a bitch to work for though, ask my whiney little sales boys!!

Four interviews lined up for Tuesday, then I have to staff our new satelite office an hour away.

Life...:rolleyes: A friend said to put walls up around me. Easier said than done.

Just read about your Mother in law, Ali. I am so sorry to hear that news.

My upsetting thing is I miss my husband. He's gone for a week to Kentucky. Just miss the hell out of him.

Is he hanging with Digr? If so, I'd be more worried than anything ;)

Bad management in filling in staff for missing employees on sick leave = exceptionally angry customers. And an inability to go to the bathroom when needed.

It's kind of like: eff 'em. IF they happen to lose all their marbles so what? There is an I in team.

It's so discouraging, the level of apathy that is cultivated here. I already have the extra long days due to this problem, that's fine...but I should be able to take normal breaks. :(

Pee in a cup and occasionally take your boss a complimntary beverage

You can solve any problem, monster. You seriously should charge for that.

:D

I'd laugh but my laugh track is off because I'm being bombarded with yelling and crying.

7 more hours of that. I'll laugh tomorrow. :rolleyes:

Sounds like you have Wolf's old job :rolleyes:

new weed-whacker just gashed my leg.

Weed-whackers and folding chairs. They'll both bite you if they get the chance.

and dogs. and limbless knights.

Suicidal thoughts. I think my depression is breaking through now as everything feels like it's just turning to shit. I had a nice crying jag yesterday. Haven't done that in years.

I find sometimes that's the best thing for me. Just cry my damn head off...

Hang in there UT. You are loved, and for good reason.

I am sorry you are feeling so badly.I know that when people give advice, especially when feeling so blue, it seems insubstantial and pointless but I know, I really know that if you keep focused on the things you can do and see with your minds eye the goal you want, even when life seems to keep tripping you up, you will get there. There is always a way to to get what you need. That will eventually lead to the something bigger and brighter you are looking for, even when things seem a little dark.

When I feel pushed I break things down into the tiniest goal possible. I don't know what that is for you but for me it is keeping a roof over my head. I would take in renters if need be.

anyway,

I am sure you are seeing your doc, so you can get your rx upped as needed. I know you've said this is what you do and it has worked for you in the past, so I see no need to stop treatment now.

All of us here wish you the very best. You have a great mind with many wonderful things to share. You have many talents and those things will generate money if exploited to their fullest potential.

For example, I have a friend who busks and makes a goodly amount of change that way, even though he has a job some days he can put a huge chunk of change in his pocket. So 25 to 65 dollars doesn't save the day but it probably makes a person feel good to know that if you play on the street people will throw money at you ;)

I know this seems like unfocused pep talk but I mean every word.

take care, I mean it!

I'm sorry that you're going thru a down spell, UT. Depressions sucks big time. I deal with it all the time myself. And when I'm at my low point, it seems impossible that life will ever get better or that I will ever be able to do anything to pull myself up. Try to keep in mind that this too shall pass. And like Sky said, maybe you should see your doc about getting your anti-depressant(s) upped or changed.

Hope you feel better very soon - like yesterday!

I have two sick boys at home with me today. I'm waiting for the third one so I have the trifecta.

You're not alone, UT. Right now is a bad season for a lot of people I know, myself included. You can make it. One day at a time and fuck everything else, yeah?

UT, I'm there with you and here for you too. You know it's bad when you are nose deep in shit and you feel like you're doing better.

Do what you can and let yourself rest and do what you need to do.

I'm at 60mg of fluoxetine and it is barely making a dent. I can only say that I share the feelings.

We all care about you.

Shit UT, that sucks. Just keep in mind that this too will pass.

I've been struggling with depression for a few months now. Day after day goes by and I just cannot make myself do what needs to be done. It's bizarre. Like sitting down and actually engaging with the subject I am supposed to love is physically impossible. I end up sitting at the computer, bored, just bouncing between two or three sites for hours, and just can't make myself do anything else.

I find my thoughts are going down dark paths more than ever. LIke I am 'practising' for the deaths I'll have to deal with (Pilau, Mum, my brother, friends). There's this ever present shadow and I daren't let myself future pace antything because it all just starts to look impossible and bleak. Like the world has shrunk down.

This too will pass. It's all the comfort I can think of.

Hope it's just something passing through, Ali.
Bet it's hellish while it does though.
Fingerers crossed for Max.

UT - yep, been where you are.
Doesn't help though.
Just best wishes. Came through it before, can handle it again. I promise.

The usual suspects

Do threats of violence warrant a call to authorities? Why yes, yes they do.

Did you?

No, but I should.

Some people just don't get it. Rail against society while offering no solutions, contributing nothing but complaints, and making people feel worse than they do.

I've been threatened over situations I have no control over. I'm no automaton; I try to help as best I can, as much as the law allows. I've been afraid of walking to my car, not knowing what "i didn't get what I wanted" person might be lying in wait.

I don't find the comments so glib or innocent as we could pretend they are.

My hands are shaking so much I couldn't hit the numbers on the phone anyway.

I'm about done. If that's what passes for reasonable political opinion or 'discourse' in this place, if silence promotes more of the same, then what the fuck am I even doing here.

It's not worth my health, and I'll tell you my BP is through the roof right now.

All because of an ignorant elitist asshole. :(

Here's hoping the asshole puckered for a second when (IF) he realized just how far he'd taken it.

:headshake indeed.

Infikey, I would say, call security and/or cops whenever reasonably justified. Especially in the land of the free-to-bear-arms.

UT - you've written so many wise words here for others who were in the depths of depression. Please try to hold them in your own thoughts for yourself in your dark hours. As to suicide - please don't. You have no idea how you'd be missed by you family and friends. Please. Believe me on that one. Call a suicide line, or the Samaritans ....

Yes, you should. There's no reason that you should allow yourself to be berated or threatened. You're nobody's whipping boy. Let professionals handle it.

See your professional. Change your meds. It may feel like it's turning to shit, but it may just be your brain chemicals talking. How many sites have you designed already?

32

34

when you consider suicide, you should always remember to consider killing what's causing you to feel that way. it aint you. take action against the smallest of your obstacles first. then the smallest one that's left after it's dead.

you are not the problem. you are just you. and i love you. and so do we all.

srsly.

Thanks man. I love you right back and all of you.

This one is going to turn out to be 80% meds, I know it now. The 20% of it that's real life suckage doesn't provoke this kind of response. Been better the last two days, as well.